**Insert a word that conveys the
message that I am back again here**
Now that the ‘back again’ part has
been taken care of, let me chide myself for my laziness. So many ideas had
cropped up in my mind since my last blog post, but my laziness got the better
of me. In the meantime, I started writing in Medium.com and successfully
completed the challenge that I set for myself – to review all the Oscar
nominated films before the Academy Awards ceremony. Since Facebook is my de
facto platform for movie reviews, I plan to utilize Medium for other kinds of
articles that I’ve been planning to write for quite a long time. Come whatsoever,
this blog remains the closest to my heart for this is a platform where I open
up and share stories with a personal touch. I’ll ensure that it continues to be
that.
As for today’s post, I’ve been
planning to write this for long but something or the other kept resisting me.
It has finally materialized today.
Disclaimer/Note: This post is not a Moral Science Lecture. It’s just
my take on some of the real experiences that I’ve encountered. Also,
considering the contents of this post, no names have been taken and in some
cases, I’ve tried to mask the situation/surroundings so as not to reveal
anything more than what’s written. Please note that not everyone may be
comfortable reading what’s written in this post. If you are one of them, please
stay away from this post.
Teetotaller:
The first time I came across this
word was during my college days. Someone used that word to describe me and
that’s when I learnt what that word meant. A teetotaller is a person who
doesn’t drink alcohol. In other words, he abstains from drinking. I was thrilled
at having discovered a word that described me. It was only later that I
realized that word was not something to flaunt. During college days (UG days),
I witnessed many a non-drinker in my class turn first-time drinkers and later,
I saw many of them turn heavy drinkers. Towards the end of my college days, there
were hardly 4 or 5 guys in my class of 60+ students who continued to be
teetotalers and I kinda felt good that I was one of them.
The
reality and cultural difference:
As
time wore on and I moved out of Coimbatore for the first time to work in
Odisha, I got a taste of the world outside my shell. It was different, it was
difficult, but it was the reality. I was living in a shell. I was living in my
comfort zone in a confined society. With that exposure to reality, my
perceptions changed; my thought process changed and my mind opened up. I was
able to accept a lot of things around me better. But through it all, I had some
firm beliefs and values of my own and I stuck to them. My two year PG stint
further enabled me to witness stuff that I had only seen in shady Hollywood
films. There are stuff that I’ve witnessed and cannot write about. But over
time, I learnt not to be prejudiced and accept people for who they are. This
way, I was at peace with myself and was able to be friends with a lot of
people.
The
question why and a bit of humiliation:
Social drinking is a norm in
today’s society. Resisting it is seen as an abnormality by some. The question
why I don’t drink has been posed to me on numerous occasions. People have
insisted that I drink on many an occasion. I’ve been subjected to lectures on
why I should drink. I’ve been grilled many times as to why I don’t drink. A
girl who also happens to be a good friend, challenged me that she’ll turn me
into a drinker before I finished my PG. She failed in that challenge,
obviously. A friend who turned drinker after years of resistance, argued with
me for over an hour as to why I should drink. I could sense a bit of guilt in
him for he had given up his resistance and would have probably felt that
turning me into a drinker would have vindicated his decision to drink.
The question then arises as to why
I don’t drink. Some friends have tried to find out the same. They have lectured
me on how moral values should be kept flexible and why it’s a necessity to
drink, atleast socially, in today’s world. What they fail to grasp is that I
have my own right to exercise my choice and follow the same. It’s not a
question of values. It’s a matter of choice. It’s my choice that I chose not to
drink. I do not understand why some people had/have difficulty in accepting
this. I have accepted them for who they are. The least I could expect from them
in return is reciprocation. A friend once told me that I was normal in every
sense except for the fact that I don’t drink. A lady who I was reporting to
while I was interning during my PG stint asked me if I drink. When I answered
in the negative, she called me a loser. Once while discussing our expectations
of future spouses with friends, I was scorned upon when I expressed my desire
that my partner should also be a teetotaler like me. There are many such
instances of humiliation that I’ve endured/keep enduring because of what is
clearly my choice. For every article that you find about the ill effects of
drinking, you’ll be presented with 10 articles that list out the benefits of
drinking. Over time, I’ve become quite used to this humiliation and stuff and
have learnt to take it all in my stride and move along.
Company
for drinking:
One thing that I learnt in my
corporate career is that it is ok to be a teetotaler and still have fun in
social parties. In Jharsuguda, I learnt to be in the company of friends in
drinking parties. I have soft drinks in such parties and partake in the funny
conversations that happen in such scenarios.
It may be true that a sober me may not be able to sink in those conversations
amidst people who are getting high. But I do my best to gel in and respect the
invite extended to me. It’s also true that I don’t get invited to a lot of such
parties, but I have no cause for complaint. Truth be told, I am not very
comfortable being amidst drinkers once they start to lose their senses. I
quietly slip away from such scenes when I sense people getting a bit too high
and losing their senses. It’s also a fact that I do get invited to such parties
from time to time and I try to honour those invites more often than not. Over
time, I’ve learnt to revel in the fun despite being sober.
But not all such
parties are fun and memorable. Some of them are awful and forgettable. One such
after – party incident is clearly etched in my mind. The said incident was when
I had to endure quite a bad experience in getting a colleague home after a
company party once. The person in question had one drink too many, threw up and
was out flat. The responsibility of taking him home fell on my shoulders, along
with a couple of other colleagues. The person in question was a bulky fellow
who weighed about 120 kgs. It was almost midnight. You can imagine the trouble
we had to go through to get that guy home. This incident happened in a small
town in an era when there was no Ola or Uber. Being the only sober one, I had
to drive a bike with a sleeping person and another colleague holding him as
pillion riders. Despite the empty roads, it was one of the most challenging
drives that I had ever done so far. Not to mention the cop we had to ‘handle’
along the way. In the end, we somehow managed to get him back home safe and
sound. The whole experience left me so distraught that since then, I have never
taken responsibility of anyone in such parties, who I know is bound to lose
control.
Drunken
Driving:
To all my friends who drink, I
never advise not to drink or give any sermons of that sort. All I say to them
is to drink responsibly. Also, if your friend/ colleague/ any other
acquaintance is a non – drinker, kindly respect his/her choice and never make
the mistake of insisting them to have a drink. Also please bear in mind your
surroundings and the people around, when you drink. Never over – drink in any
social gathering. I might sound like a lecturer already with the above points,
but the reason I am putting them down here is because of what I’ve witnessed
and experienced with people around me. Drinking should not cause any trouble to
people around. In so many cases that I’ve witnessed, it is not just the person
but his/her family members who get affected the most because of the person’s
irresponsible drinking behavior. This was a classic case that I witnessed 3years ago and it again left me disturbed. The one thing that I always tell
everyone and insist on is NEVER TO DRINK AND DRIVE. I personally know of 3
people (friends and friends of friends) who have lost their lives to this
malaise. So please take this seriously. It’s certainly not a thrill to get
behind the wheel when you’re drunk for you’re not only endangering your life,
but also the lives of so many others on the road.
I have written this post here in
the hope that you, the reader, would understand what teetotalers like me go
through in the so – called ‘social
drinking is a necessity in today’s world’ society and I hope that you take
it the right spirit. Cheers to you! 👍
With this post, I’ve given vent to
some of the thoughts that I had bottled up within me over the years. This blog
is a good platform to pour my angst or observations or whatever and writing
this here has certainly made me feel light. I take leave in the hope that I get
to write more often here. Ciao.
- Ashwin Murali
