tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14112845394063410942024-03-05T12:32:28.878+05:30Half Empty or Half Full??Ashmurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07492523564262055217noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1411284539406341094.post-79125827823199933112020-08-02T17:30:00.000+05:302020-08-02T17:30:25.807+05:30What are we after?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
The question in the title might look simple at first glance,
but it is deeply philosophical in nature. It is a question that we ask
ourselves at some point or the other during the course of our lives. The last
few months have been challenging for a lot of people across the world with the
coronavirus pandemic wreaking havoc and disrupting normal life in every way
possible. This led people to rethink life and their priorities in life. But I
am not going to dwell on all that. My focus today is the question in the title
and how the answer to that changes with time. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The reason I bring this up now is because of a tweet from a
person I’ve admired from afar. The tweet talked about how this lady, at 25
years of age, when asked about<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>how she
sees herself at 35, replied that she expected herself to be making a mark in
the corporate world and taking positive strides on her way to making it to the C-suite.
But now, at 31, her answer to the same question would be that she sees herself
as a housewife, taking care of her kid, and making time for herself every day
to do the things she is passionate about like watching movies & soaps,
reading books, and writing articles on them. She did not give any explanation
as to why this change, but indicated that she would be happy if her current
thought materializes in about 4 years’ time. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The tweet struck me hard because it resonated with my
thought over the past year or so. You enter into that phase where achievements
in your professional/ corporate life seem immaterial. You need money, of course.
But there is also the deeper need to have the heart to do what you do, day in
and day out, with real passion. If that is not the case, then there is always
something missing, no matter how happy you appear on the outside. This led me
to the philosophical question in the title. What are we after, really? Is it
money? Is it fame? Or is it a happy, healthy and a peaceful life? <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Definitely, there will be arguments supporting the theory
that money and fame will lead you to the ultimate goal of a happy, healthy and
peaceful life. But ask the rich and the famous. Most of them might disagree. So
what is it exactly that we are after? It is such a deep-rooted question with a
philosophical meaning to it. It is quite spiritual too. But it is a question
that is worth asking ourselves. Once you have asked the question, the journey
to find the answer begins. Some find their answers quickly. Some take time.
Some don’t find the answers at all. Nevertheless, ask yourselves this question.
If you are convinced of the answer that you get, pursue the path that will lead
you to the solution. Every journey is unique in its own way. Ask yourselves
this question and start your journey. If you are one of the lucky ones who
already knows the answer, congratulations! For the rest, let us keep chugging
along the path that will lead to a solution.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This post is the outcome of some philosophical thoughts on a
dull Sunday afternoon.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cheers!<o:p></o:p></div>
<br /></div>
Ashmurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07492523564262055217noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1411284539406341094.post-45669458873362405082019-10-02T12:28:00.000+05:302019-10-02T12:28:38.751+05:30Random. Rambling. Revival.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Hello,
there! Well that is one way of starting a post when you don’t have anything set
in mind and the objective is just to ramble on. Life has seen its fair share of
ups and downs since I last wrote a blog post with the real intention of writing
one. The last 2 posts that you see in this blog, posted towards the fag end of
2018, were originally posted in Facebook and I posted the same here in order to
avoid a blank in terms of the no. of blog posts in 2018.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
sit and wonder how our preferences change over the course of time. Our
priorities change and things that were prominent once, no longer feature in the
prioritized list of things to do. Certainly, opinions change too. With the boom
of social media, I have learnt from personal experience that it’s best to keep
our opinions to ourselves, as far as possible, rather than air them in social
media. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">One
strong opinion that I had 2 years ago, crumbled over the past few months. If
you remember <a href="http://ashwinmurali.blogspot.com/2016/08/high-five-lessons-from-bombay.html" target="_blank">this post,</a> you would know how much I adored this city of Bombay,
back then. A few people told me then that since I was living close to my place
of work, I was saved from the brutal experience of travel in Bombay, especially
during the monsoons. This year, the monsoon rains set a record and they
certainly tested my patience on more than one occasion. I now strongly feel
that it is not okay on the part of Mumbaikars to take everything in their
stride and move on like nothing happened. The city certainly needs an
infrastructural revamp to keep up with the growing needs of the exponentially
growing population. Having said that, I should also acknowledge here that there
are more infrastructural projects in the works in Bombay than in any other city
in the country. The pace of the projects need to be improved.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Writing
reviews for films is something that I started by chance. Over the course of the
last 3-4 years, it is something that my friends and followers in Facebook have
come to associate me with. I was surprised to know that some friends and family
members, even in the US and the Middle East, decided on films based on my
reviews. This cheered me up. At the same time, it also made me more responsible
as it was important that I give out unbiased views. I try my best to see a film
as a film. As a form of entertainment. I try to present my views as a layman
would. I succeed and I also fail. In some cases, some biases do creep in,
subconsciously. I am human, after all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">A
sea change that has happened over the last 3-4 years is the transition from the
big screen to the small screen. Here, I mean the transition from laptops to
mobile phones. With the advancement in mobiles, I rarely use laptops outside of
office, these days. Mobile gets every work done for me. But this also means
increased risk of health issues like eye strain and neck pain. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">One
certain thing that mobile has done to me (and many like me) is that it has
created enough distractions that my actual reading (non- screen reading) has
dropped dramatically. This is something that I am ashamed of and I crave for
the guy who used to sit with his books for hours together, completely
forgetting the fact that there was a world outside. It helps that my wife reads
every day, despite using the mobile extensively. This has kept me vigilant of
the fact that I have many books waiting to be read. I hope it’s only a matter
of time before I turn the corner on this front. Let’s see. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
think I have rambled enough for a post to revive a blog. I am not going to
promise anything to myself or my readers, but I feel I should use this blog
more frequently to ramble on about random stuff, if not for anything, but at
least to keep the writer in me alive and kicking, outside of Facebook. That would
do for now. In my next post, I wish to write about some interesting podcasts
that I have been listening to, lately. Hope it materializes soon. Adios,
amigos! <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">(caught on to that bye-bye
phrase, thanks to my new Boat Rockerz Bluetooth earphones which sign off that
phrase when turned off). <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<br /></div>
Ashmurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07492523564262055217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1411284539406341094.post-17736438016604528572018-12-31T22:37:00.000+05:302018-12-31T22:37:10.916+05:30A year end summary - as usual <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Summing up a year is an exercise I quite enjoy doing.
Biggest highlight of the year was, of course, getting married. 😊 It's been an
enjoyable journey and have to say, by all means, this has been a good year,
both personally and professionally.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In terms of my interests, I certainly could have done more -
be it writing or watching movies or reading. But no regrets as I kept myself
engaged, nevertheless.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Watched 38 movies this year - down from 61 last year, but
that's ok. The following were the movies that I enjoyed the most this year (in
no particular order):<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1. Bohemian Rhapsody<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2. 96 (Tamil)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
3. Vada Chennai (Tamil)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
4. Padman (Hindi)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
5. 2 Point 0 (Tamil)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I did miss out on a few good movies and I hope to catch them
soon. Prime amongst them were Pariyerum Perumal (Tamil) and Mahanati (Telugu).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Reading has certainly taken a backseat this year. I
sincerely hope to correct this in 2019. Let's see.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fitness goals were reached in the first half of the year
(cue Wedding), and all the weight lost was regained in the 2nd half of the
year. 😜<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyway, this is one area for me to
focus on this year.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The year had considerably less travel compared to the
previous 2 years. The most memorable travel was the trip to Mauritius, post our
wedding. Hope to travel to more (new) places in the coming year. Let's see.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One thing I ask myself at the end of every year is whether I
have improved myself as a person (in all aspects) over the previous year. If
the answer is yes, then that's progress. Happy that I've progressed this year.
Hoping for the same to continue next year too.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here's hoping for 2019 with all the things stated above and
more. Cheers! 😊<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wish you all a very happy new year! 😊<o:p></o:p></div>
<br /></div>
Ashmurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07492523564262055217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1411284539406341094.post-31030282054316307382018-12-31T22:24:00.002+05:302018-12-31T22:30:06.528+05:30The Extremities - A bit of Geography<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The below post is based on an update I posted in Facebook, a
month ago. </i><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>A bit of Geography:</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I came across this question recently: What is the furthest
that you have been in your country in terms of latitudinal and longitudinal
coordinates in all 4 directions?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Interesting question. After a wee bit of research using
Google Maps, here's my answer:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>North:</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Northern-most point in India (within our control (LoC)) is
Indira Col in Siachen Glacier - 35 deg 40 min N<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Northern-most point accessible to civilians is Turtuk
Village in Ladakh - 34 deg 51 min N<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Northern-most point that I have been to - Nubra Valley in
Ladakh - 34 deg 36 min N<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>South:</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Southern-most point in India is Indira Point in Andaman
& Nicobar Islands - 6 deg 47 min N<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Southern-most point controlled by India if you consider our
research stations in Antarctica is Maitri - 70 deg 32 min S<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Another research station of ours in Antarctica is Dakshin
Gangotri - 70 deg 12 min S<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Southern-most point in mainland India and that I have been
to is Kanyakumari - 8 deg 4 min N<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>West:</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Western-most point in India is Guhar Moti village in Sir
Creek (Narayan Sarovar district) in Gujarat - 68 deg 2 min E<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Western-most point that I have been to is Ahmedabad - 72 deg
24 min E<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>East:</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Eastern-most point in India is the town Kibithu in Arunachal
Pradesh - 97 deg 24 min E<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Eastern-most point that I have been to is Kolkata - 88 deg E<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I expand the scope of this question to the whole world
and not just India, I realized that the North and the East points remain the
same for me. Western-most changes to Dubai (54 deg 56 min E) and the
Southern-most changes to Mauritius (20 deg 30 min S).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Meanwhile, the highest point that I have been in (India or
abroad) is Khardung La Top in Ladakh (5359 m high).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fascinating, isn't it? I really love the fact that the
Google Maps has started projecting the map in a globe form instead of Mercator
projection.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On that note, I'll try to write about the cons of following the
Mercator projection, sometime soon. Hopefully.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For now, let me part with cheers to Geography and to the
awesome Geography teacher - Sujatha Ma'am, who taught us the subject in our
school - Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan, RS Puram, Coimbatore - and instilled a love
for the subject in us. Cheers, ma'am, if you ever stumble upon this post.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Ashmurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07492523564262055217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1411284539406341094.post-85132722743287613952017-12-25T22:13:00.000+05:302017-12-25T22:13:16.694+05:30A year that got me ‘a dear’<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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It’s the end of the year and time
for my end-of-the-year post. What surprises and saddens me at the same time is
the fact that this is just my third post this year. I’ve been saying that I
have to write more, but mere talking never helps in this case. It’s the action
and not the words that count. Well, having given myself a tight slap with the
previous sentence, let’s move on to other things.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The year has been good to me in
more ways than one and despite the occasional lows, there’s very little cause for
complaint. Let me break the big news to those few of you who don’t follow me in
any social media platforms but here. I’m engaged. Yes, you read that right. That
explains the title of this post. <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">:-)</span></span>
I can shout and make it dramatic like Monica Geller, but let me leave that part
to my fiancée, who, by the way, is called Monica. Well, not quite. She’s
Moneeka, but yeah. It may seem like quite a coincidence for those of you who
might have read <a href="http://ashwinmurali.blogspot.in/2017/08/she.html">my previous blog post.</a> Well, that post was a figment of my
imagination and quite rightly, my fiancée observed that the girl in that post
was too idealistic to be true. Ha ha. No pressure, darling. Jokes apart, with
that big news in tow, I guess I am allowed that bit of room for excuse for not
keeping up with my promise, atleast on the writing front. I did write a small poem to break this news to the world. You can read it <a href="https://goo.gl/oKi1cv">here</a>. So, yeah. I have my excuse. ;-)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The year actually started with me
taking up that challenge of watching and reviewing all Oscar – nominated films
before the actual awards ceremony. I did win that challenge and that set me up
for what could have been a more productive year, writing-wise. I did review quite
a few films in Facebook. It is just that the intended blog posts didn’t happen.
Also, I started off with a ‘Sports 50’ post to list out 50 sportspersons who
have given me the greatest joy of watching/following sports. Even that series
is stuck and is yet to move on from its second post. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I happened to read the
testimonials that my batchmates had written for me in my IIM Kashipur Yearbook.
It throws some light on what I was and what my goals were a couple of years
ago. Things have changed since then. And people change too. There is a very
prominent mention of a book that I had promised to write, in most of those
testimonials. Though always at the back of my mind, that book is yet to
materialize. A person known to me challenged me to get that book out before a
girl walks into my life. Though that seemed to be an interesting challenge
then, now I have realized that I will not write something for the sake of
writing. I know I will write, but it shall take its own sweet time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The fact that my fiancée also reads and looks
forward to my writing is a motivation in itself to write. So yeah, better some
action than empty words.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Credit should be given, taken
rather, for reviving the reader in me. Thanks to JK Rowling, I was able to read
like I used to once –for hours together, lost in a world between those pages. I
re-read the entire Harry Potter series in the hope that I’d start reading a lot
again and that worked like magic. I’ve read some 14-15 books this year, apart
from the HP series. This is quite an improvement from last year when the score
was 3. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I really do not know what else to
write in this post, except to muse over the fact that I’ve finally written a
post after long. There are quite a few things that I want to write, but in my quest
to write a well-researched post, I’ve stopped musing or rambling with a
personal touch. That’s what I’ve done here and that’s what I feel I should
continue doing. Just start writing and muse over things in mind and voila, we
have a post. That’s what we have here. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
To you, the reader, if you’ve
patiently read thus far, I wish you a Merry Christmas and wonderful New Year
2018. May all your wishes be fulfilled in the year ahead!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
-Ashwin Murali</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
PS: Writing a blog helps in many
ways. My fiancée and my in-laws-to-be learnt quite a lot about me through this
blog. It probably helped them ‘okay’ me, I guess. :-)<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"></span></span>
So the next time someone questions you on the merit of writing a blog and what
good may come of it, show them this post script. ;-) </div>
</div>
Ashmurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07492523564262055217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1411284539406341094.post-60107146311249427832017-08-27T11:36:00.001+05:302017-08-27T11:36:44.936+05:30She<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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She’s opinionated. She has her
own views on different things. But she’s not rigid. She lends her ear to listen
to what the other person has to say too. She’s the undiplomatic foil to the
diplomatic me. She takes a stand as she sees it right. She also helps me take
one by presenting her view. But she doesn’t force me to take a side if I don’t
see the point. She talks a lot and ensures that the introvert in me isn’t
active. But she also listens when spoken to. She lets me see the fun side when I
become too organized. She acts as Chandler to the ‘sometimes’ Monica in me. She’s
definitely the Rachel to the Ross in me. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
She’s beautiful. Not merely in her
physical appearance, but in the way she goes out of her way to help people. She
reads a lot. She has read a lot. But she still stays by my side if I reread a
Rowling for the umpteenth time. Tamil books aren’t her forte. But that won’t
stop her from pestering me to read a Sujatha or an Indira Soundarrajan or a
Kalki Krishnamurthy. She’s a foodie with an eclectic taste. But that doesn’t
stop her from appreciating the food I cook, however good or bad it tastes. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
She’s a feminist like me. She helps me see the tempered, liberal side of things
when I see the radical side of things at times. She likes movies. No wonder
then that we argue so much about a Tarantino or a Christopher Nolan or a Mani
Ratnam. She writes well. She likes what I write. But that doesn’t stop her from
criticizing my work when she sees the need for it. She’s my first and my best
critic. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I don’t know if she genuinely likes football. But she sits by my side
and supports Chelsea whenever a match is on. I think she likes Cristiano
Ronaldo. But that hasn’t stopped her from appreciating the beauty of Messi’s
game. She loves Rafael Nadal. But she also acknowledges and appreciates the
magic in Federer’s game. She’s not much of a cricket fan. But she’ll still sit
in front of the TV when Dhoni is batting. She loves music. I love the way she
finds me videos of a Hamsadhwani being played, just because I told her that I like
it. She’s a big fan of AR Rahman. But she’s always by my side when I get
immersed into the beauty of an Ilayaraja. </div>
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She’s spiritual. But she never
imposes her views on spirituality and religion on others. She’s actively social
and socially active. I love the way she secures her spot in the sofa like
Sheldon. I love the way she imagines herself to be Snape whenever she gets to
say ‘Always’. I love the way she teases me with her ‘backpacking in Western
Europe’ story when she’s in the mood. ;-) I love the way she tells me that I
know nothing, like Jon Snow. I love the way she makes me binge watch FRIENDS
when she realizes that I’m a bit down and not my usual self.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love the way she enjoys a walk by the
seaside with winds for whisper and waves for music. I love the way she is, for
she loves me the way I am. I love her for what she is. She is. She exists. In
the corners of my heart. In the chambers of my brain. She exists. In my dreams.
In a parallel universe. I hope to meet her in real, someday.</div>
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<i>The above passage was written in
response to an often-asked-of-late question. <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">:-)</span></span>
I let my creative juices flow a bit. Nothing more. Nothing less. Don’t imagine
things. <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">:-)</span></span></i> </div>
</div>
Ashmurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07492523564262055217noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1411284539406341094.post-10008819258271325762017-05-07T17:23:00.000+05:302017-05-07T23:03:57.585+05:30Tales of a Teetotaler<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">**Insert a word that conveys the
message that I am back again here**</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Now that the ‘back again’ part has
been taken care of, let me chide myself for my laziness. So many ideas had
cropped up in my mind since my last blog post, but my laziness got the better
of me. In the meantime, I started writing in Medium.com and successfully
completed the challenge that I set for myself – to review all the Oscar
nominated films before the Academy Awards ceremony. Since Facebook is my de
facto platform for movie reviews, I plan to utilize Medium for other kinds of
articles that I’ve been planning to write for quite a long time. Come whatsoever,
this blog remains the closest to my heart for this is a platform where I open
up and share stories with a personal touch. I’ll ensure that it continues to be
that.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As for today’s post, I’ve been
planning to write this for long but something or the other kept resisting me.
It has finally materialized today.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Disclaimer/Note:</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> This post is not a Moral Science Lecture. It’s just
my take on some of the real experiences that I’ve encountered. Also,
considering the contents of this post, no names have been taken and in some
cases, I’ve tried to mask the situation/surroundings so as not to reveal
anything more than what’s written. Please note that not everyone may be
comfortable reading what’s written in this post. If you are one of them, please
stay away from this post.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Teetotaller:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The first time I came across this
word was during my college days. Someone used that word to describe me and
that’s when I learnt what that word meant. A teetotaller is a person who
doesn’t drink alcohol. In other words, he abstains from drinking. I was thrilled
at having discovered a word that described me. It was only later that I
realized that word was not something to flaunt. During college days (UG days),
I witnessed many a non-drinker in my class turn first-time drinkers and later,
I saw many of them turn heavy drinkers. Towards the end of my college days, there
were hardly 4 or 5 guys in my class of 60+ students who continued to be
teetotalers and I kinda felt good that I was one of them. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
reality and cultural difference: </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As
time wore on and I moved out of Coimbatore for the first time to work in
Odisha, I got a taste of the world outside my shell. It was different, it was
difficult, but it was the reality. I was living in a shell. I was living in my
comfort zone in a confined society. With that exposure to reality, my
perceptions changed; my thought process changed and my mind opened up. I was
able to accept a lot of things around me better. But through it all, I had some
firm beliefs and values of my own and I stuck to them. My two year PG stint
further enabled me to witness stuff that I had only seen in shady Hollywood
films. There are stuff that I’ve witnessed and cannot write about. But over
time, I learnt not to be prejudiced and accept people for who they are. This
way, I was at peace with myself and was able to be friends with a lot of
people. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
question why and a bit of humiliation: </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Social drinking is a norm in
today’s society. Resisting it is seen as an abnormality by some. The question
why I don’t drink has been posed to me on numerous occasions. People have
insisted that I drink on many an occasion. I’ve been subjected to lectures on
why I should drink. I’ve been grilled many times as to why I don’t drink. A
girl who also happens to be a good friend, challenged me that she’ll turn me
into a drinker before I finished my PG. She failed in that challenge,
obviously. A friend who turned drinker after years of resistance, argued with
me for over an hour as to why I should drink. I could sense a bit of guilt in
him for he had given up his resistance and would have probably felt that
turning me into a drinker would have vindicated his decision to drink. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The question then arises as to why
I don’t drink. Some friends have tried to find out the same. They have lectured
me on how moral values should be kept flexible and why it’s a necessity to
drink, atleast socially, in today’s world. What they fail to grasp is that I
have my own right to exercise my choice and follow the same. It’s not a
question of values. It’s a matter of choice. It’s my choice that I chose not to
drink. I do not understand why some people had/have difficulty in accepting
this. I have accepted them for who they are. The least I could expect from them
in return is reciprocation. A friend once told me that I was normal in every
sense except for the fact that I don’t drink. A lady who I was reporting to
while I was interning during my PG stint asked me if I drink. When I answered
in the negative, she called me a loser. Once while discussing our expectations
of future spouses with friends, I was scorned upon when I expressed my desire
that my partner should also be a teetotaler like me. There are many such
instances of humiliation that I’ve endured/keep enduring because of what is
clearly my choice. For every article that you find about the ill effects of
drinking, you’ll be presented with 10 articles that list out the benefits of
drinking. Over time, I’ve become quite used to this humiliation and stuff and
have learnt to take it all in my stride and move along.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Company
for drinking:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">One thing that I learnt in my
corporate career is that it is ok to be a teetotaler and still have fun in
social parties. In Jharsuguda, I learnt to be in the company of friends in
drinking parties. I have soft drinks in such parties and partake in the funny
conversations that happen in such scenarios.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It may be true that a sober me may not be able to sink in those conversations
amidst people who are getting high. But I do my best to gel in and respect the
invite extended to me. It’s also true that I don’t get invited to a lot of such
parties, but I have no cause for complaint. Truth be told, I am not very
comfortable being amidst drinkers once they start to lose their senses. I
quietly slip away from such scenes when I sense people getting a bit too high
and losing their senses. It’s also a fact that I do get invited to such parties
from time to time and I try to honour those invites more often than not. Over
time, I’ve learnt to revel in the fun despite being sober. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">But not all such
parties are fun and memorable. Some of them are awful and forgettable. One such
after – party incident is clearly etched in my mind. The said incident was when
I had to endure quite a bad experience in getting a colleague home after a
company party once. The person in question had one drink too many, threw up and
was out flat. The responsibility of taking him home fell on my shoulders, along
with a couple of other colleagues. The person in question was a bulky fellow
who weighed about 120 kgs. It was almost midnight. You can imagine the trouble
we had to go through to get that guy home. This incident happened in a small
town in an era when there was no Ola or Uber. Being the only sober one, I had
to drive a bike with a sleeping person and another colleague holding him as
pillion riders. Despite the empty roads, it was one of the most challenging
drives that I had ever done so far. Not to mention the cop we had to ‘handle’
along the way. In the end, we somehow managed to get him back home safe and
sound. The whole experience left me so distraught that since then, I have never
taken responsibility of anyone in such parties, who I know is bound to lose
control.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Drunken
Driving:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">To all my friends who drink, I
never advise not to drink or give any sermons of that sort. All I say to them
is to drink responsibly. Also, if your friend/ colleague/ any other
acquaintance is a non – drinker, kindly respect his/her choice and never make
the mistake of insisting them to have a drink. Also please bear in mind your
surroundings and the people around, when you drink. Never over – drink in any
social gathering. I might sound like a lecturer already with the above points,
but the reason I am putting them down here is because of what I’ve witnessed
and experienced with people around me. Drinking should not cause any trouble to
people around. In so many cases that I’ve witnessed, it is not just the person
but his/her family members who get affected the most because of the person’s
irresponsible drinking behavior. <a href="http://goo.gl/9j7w8J">This was a classic case that I witnessed 3years ago </a>and it again left me disturbed. The one thing that I always tell
everyone and insist on is NEVER TO DRINK AND DRIVE. I personally know of 3
people (friends and friends of friends) who have lost their lives to this
malaise. So please take this seriously. It’s certainly not a thrill to get
behind the wheel when you’re drunk for you’re not only endangering your life,
but also the lives of so many others on the road. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I have written this post here in
the hope that you, the reader, would understand what teetotalers like me go
through in the so – called <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">‘social
drinking is a necessity in today’s world’</i> society and I hope that you take
it the right spirit. Cheers to you! </span><span style="font-family: "wingdings"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">👍</span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">With this post, I’ve given vent to
some of the thoughts that I had bottled up within me over the years. This blog
is a good platform to pour my angst or observations or whatever and writing
this here has certainly made me feel light. I take leave in the hope that I get
to write more often here. Ciao.</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">- Ashwin Murali</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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Ashmurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07492523564262055217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1411284539406341094.post-69648262223178292992016-11-27T21:02:00.000+05:302016-11-27T21:03:25.757+05:30Dear Ashwin, X years ago…<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Hello there. As always,
it’s been a while. I keep wishing that I needn’t say that. Hasn’t happened. Let’s
see.</span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Coming to this post, I
was inspired to write this about a year ago when I read <a href="http://meetuttara.blogspot.in/2015/10/dear-self-x-years-ago.html">this post of Uttara’s.</a>
She in turn, was inspired by <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sycgL3Qg_Ak">this video.</a> Ever since I read that post, the
thought of writing a similar post has been at the back of my mind. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I turned 28 last week and the post came back
to me. Felt that the time can’t be better to address my own self over the years.
Let me just rack my brains and see what I would want to say to a younger
Ashwin. Read on, if interested. Might be of interest to you too; if you wish to
address your younger self, that is.</span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">For my own convenience,
I am imagining that I am travelling back in time to November 21<sup>st</sup>
(my birthday) every year in the reverse chronological order. Let’s begin the
journey.</span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Nov 21<sup>st</sup>,
2015 (27 years old):</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Dear Ashwin, I know you’re having fun, but don’t lose sight
of some of your goals - both personal and professional. Take utmost care of
what you eat lest you end up in hospital one day. Don’t just pretend, but start
work on the book that you’ve been wanting to write. You may not find as much
time later. And please, take care of your savings. They’re there for a reason.
Don’t touch them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Nov 21<sup>st</sup>,
2014 (26 years old):</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Dear Ashwin, you’ve been overworking yourself. Enough. Just
take it easy and enjoy your last few months in IIM Kashipur. Go out. Travel. There
are a lot of serene locations nearby. You may not get such a chance and time
later. It’s good to be an optimist, but also be more realistic and less
diplomatic. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Nov 21<sup>st</sup>,
2013 (25 years old):</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Dear Ashwin, you’ve been floating in the clouds ever since
you came to Kashipur 4 months ago. Calm down and come back to earth. Focus on
the things that matter. Abandon those trivial pursuits. You know what I mean.
And by the way, please pay more attention in those Finance classes. They will
come in handy in the future.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Nov 21<sup>st</sup>,
2012 (24 years old):</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Dear Ashwin, you’ve given your CAT. Now don’t worry about the
results. Things will happen if they’re meant to. You’ve been having a great
time with your friends at TIME. Cherish these moments for you won’t get them
back again. It’s not such a bad idea to take some time off for yourself. Will
help you set your priorities right. Go on long drives. You’ll miss having your
car with you in the coming years.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Nov 21<sup>st</sup>,
2011 (23 years old):</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Dear Ashwin, looks like you’ve finally taken to the plant
life in Jharsuguda. But don’t get too comfortable for things are about to
change and you won’t be in Odisha for long. A lot of things will happen in the
next few months. You’ll be required to take some bold decisions. Don’t shy away
from them if you want your dreams realized. And yeah, don’t lose hope on
Chelsea yet. Something extraordinary will happen at the end of the season. </span><span style="font-family: "wingdings"; font-size: small; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">😉</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Nov 21<sup>st</sup>,
2010 (22 years old):</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Dear Ashwin, I know you’re having a hard time adapting to the
plant life in this place called Jharsuguda in Odisha. Trust me. You’ll adapt
well. I know you’ve been binge-watching FRIENDS. Please do so without any
regret. You’ll re-watch the whole series again. And again. And again. It will
comfort you and bring a smile to your face like nothing else. Do hang out more.
Don’t stay locked up in your room with your laptop all the time. There are some
interesting people around. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but ‘that’ girl has
been smiling at you every time you go past her. 😉 Won’t hurt you to say “Hello!”
and talk to her. 😉 Let language not deter you in any way. You’ll learn Hindi
soon. And you’ll pick up bits of Odiya too. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Nov 21<sup>st</sup>,
2009 (21 years old):</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Dear Ashwin, You’ve done pretty well in engineering so far.
Kudos! Your mini project was great. That success will make you attempt a very
ambitious main project. Don’t. The project that you have in mind would require
a bigger investment and will not succeed with the budget that you have in mind.
Think of something less ambitious. And enjoy your time at home to the fullest.
Very soon, you’ll land yourself a job that will take you away. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Nov 21<sup>st</sup>,
2006 (18 years old):</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Dear Ashwin, congrats on turning 18. While you apply for the
driving license, do apply for that voter ID too. Else, you’ll find yourself
without one, even after 10 years. Don’t fret about missing out on IIT. Trust
me. You’ll do well with what you have. No matter what anyone says, don’t you
ever think about giving up quizzing. It is something that will bring you
laurels and give you an identity in the years to come. Looks like you’ve
discovered that you can write as well. Great. Now take that advice of Chandru’s
and start writing a blog soon. Writing is something that will again earn you an
identity in the years to come.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Nov 21<sup>st</sup>,
2004 (16 years old):</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Dear Ashwin, please give this IIT business a break and
concentrate on school studies. Don’t ask anything more.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Nov 21<sup>st</sup>,
2001 (13 years old):</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Dear Ashwin, looks like you really enjoyed the four Harry
Potter books that Advaith lent you. Cherish them. There are three more books
that will come and you’ll read them all again and again, multiple times. Also,
look for more books to read. Ask mom. She’ll never say no to a book. Watching
cartoons is fine, but books are better.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Nov 21<sup>st</sup>,
2000 (12 years old):</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Dear Ashwin, it’s ok if you have not got the first rank. It’s
not a big deal. You’ll get it one day. You will also fail one day. So don’t
worry about these small things. Just enjoy yourself to the maximum. You’ve
taken a liking to playing badminton, haven’t you? Or is it table tennis?
Whatever be the game, spend an extra hour playing it. Playing a sport is
something that will give you great joy and help you learn a lot.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Nov 21<sup>st</sup>,
1998 (10 years old):</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Dear Ashwin, looks like you’ve started taking music lessons
and are learning to play the veena. Looks like you have an interest in learning
the keyboard too. Great. Please don’t give up on them. Music is something that
will be your constant companion, both in times of joy and despair. There will
come a day when you will regret not being able to produce some beautiful music
with your own fingers. Don’t give that day a chance. Learn to play the
instruments. You’ll love them in times to come.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Nov 21<sup>st</sup>,
1993 (5 years old):</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Dear Ashwin, I can see that you’re very excited. You’re happy
that you’ve welcomed a baby brother into this world. Take good care of him. You
both will have lots of fun and will have lots of stories to tell in times to
come. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Nov 21<sup>st</sup>,
1988 (0 years old):</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Dear little one, welcome to this world. You have wonderful
parents and excellent people around you. Say ‘hi’ to them. You’re in for a
great journey in this beautiful world. Yes. It’s a beautiful world. Don’t you
let yourself be swayed from that view, no matter what people say. It’s a
beautiful world and you’re going to have a wonderful life. Remember that.
Always.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">There you go. That’s
it. Now let’s get back to the future.</span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Nov 21<sup>st</sup>,
2016 (28 years old):</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small; line-height: 115%;">Dear Ashwin, hi there. I am you. Just a week ahead in time.
But this week has given me the time to introspect and tell you a few things
that you must know and bear in mind as you move ahead. First and foremost, get
out of your comfort zone. Nothing great ever came out of persons who sat in
their zones of comfort. I know it’s nice and cozy but if you wish to progress
and do the things you want to do, get out of that comfort zone. Write. And
write more often. It’s not okay if you have thought about the story in your
mind. It will take shape only when you put pen to paper. Only then will that
book of yours will ever come out. Lately, you’ve been writing those film reviews
on Facebook. The feedback has been positive too. Continue doing that. Also,
there’s so much hate on social media these days. Don’t let that affect you. It’s
not wise to be drawn into meaningless debates and trying to defend your point
of view. Focus on some of the works that you’ve been wanting to do. That
reminds me that your keyboard is lying idle for quite some time. It’s not a
showcase material. Take it out and play it a little, every day. You haven’t
solved the 4X4X4 Rubik’s cube yet. Do that. And please read more. When was the
last time you sat with a book in your hand for hours together? Set some clear,
achievable goals for the year ahead and work towards them. I am sure you will
succeed. That’s all that I have to say.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">So there you go. That
ends my journey towards addressing self. </span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">To you, the reader, I
wish a similar journey back in time. But please remember this. We can’t change
the past. We can only learn from it and take the lessons forward towards a
better future. Let’s progress towards that. </span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Till we meet again.
Ciao</span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">-Ashwin Murali </span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">PS:</span></b><span style="line-height: 115%;"> Thank you, Uttara, for inspiring me
to write this post.</span></span></div>
</div>
Ashmurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07492523564262055217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1411284539406341094.post-66975713887696462782016-08-14T21:35:00.000+05:302016-08-14T21:35:36.461+05:30(High) Five Lessons from Bombay<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Hello all! I’ve often wondered
what’s the right greeting to be used here and quite too often, I’ve started a
post with ‘I’m back’. So am using something different here. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Coming to this post, I’ve wanted
to write this for a long time, in different ways. But over time, I realized
that there’s no point in saying a thing that has already been said in many ways
by numerous people. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
When you want to talk about
Bombay (I know it is Mumbai; but I prefer Bombay), no matter what you try to
say, someone, somewhere would have already said that before. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.in/2016/05/31/this-man-perfectly-explains-why-mumbai-is-the-best-indian-city-t/">This recent post</a>
is a case in point. Here, the writer beautifully describes how life in Bombay
is a struggle, yet you fall in love with it. A simple look at <a href="https://www.google.co.in/search?q=quotes+on+bombay&biw=1366&bih=631&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&sqi=2&ved=0ahUKEwjS1ey54MDOAhWIPY8KHW-CA7AQ_AUIBigB">this page</a> will
show what various people from different walks of life had to say about Bombay.
Funnily enough, I kinda agree with everything that has been said about this
city. I am no different. I am totally in love with this city. It was not love
at first sight. It took time. But once that love happened, it has only grown on
me. </div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpsbGH4NOsm9wXb-q6zWSTu97whOYWCrwUVKdhwVtYhUEt9yQqeEKN-NO3JVsxJ8lrGm8kKVxBG5mWGC5UVo_0MjSHTAD7l3IDU5EDeWt_WXPCQ_3hrAnd9IEnpX1jigRHwFA9tX98TJSz/s1600/Mumbai.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="181" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpsbGH4NOsm9wXb-q6zWSTu97whOYWCrwUVKdhwVtYhUEt9yQqeEKN-NO3JVsxJ8lrGm8kKVxBG5mWGC5UVo_0MjSHTAD7l3IDU5EDeWt_WXPCQ_3hrAnd9IEnpX1jigRHwFA9tX98TJSz/s320/Mumbai.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mumbai/Bombay: The real city of dreams</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
That being the case, I begin to
wonder what endeared me to this city so much. How has it impacted me? What have
I learnt from this city? Here are some musings:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Mind your
own business:</b> </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; text-align: justify;">
The most striking aspect of this city is how everyone
minds their own business. Everyone is so busy here (or atleast, they seem to
be) that nobody really has time to wonder what the other person is doing.
Everyone minds their own lives and get on with it. I was amazed by this. I can
be myself, unabashedly, without the fear of being judged. Not that I care about
being judged or something, but this city is truly remarkable in this aspect.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Never Complain: </b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; text-align: justify;">
Bombay is not perfect. No city is. Every city has its
own problems. Yet, what amazes me is how little people complain in Bombay. The house
rents are exorbitant, owning a house here will only be a dream for most, the
traffic comes to a standstill on highways during rains, the local trains are
almost always full, and so on. Yet, very few complain. They take it all in
their stride and move on. A year in Bombay has made me realize that complaining
will not solve any problem. This has really made my life better and that, I owe
it to this city.</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnl0RniTdxVHNBBAjie-dcbOBIJmvJHf722SnFz-MHZ7sXek13j6vRT5zFE6gtBA6KQYsGzgCGblyIHZWCDcwojLtvkYqFMKxCKKPfqkpkSCyw07Wc4YohTGGqM9X17te8afxoNG4gF7Wr/s1600/Mumbaikars.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="276" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnl0RniTdxVHNBBAjie-dcbOBIJmvJHf722SnFz-MHZ7sXek13j6vRT5zFE6gtBA6KQYsGzgCGblyIHZWCDcwojLtvkYqFMKxCKKPfqkpkSCyw07Wc4YohTGGqM9X17te8afxoNG4gF7Wr/s320/Mumbaikars.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This pic perfectly sums up the 'never complain' attitude of the city</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Leave
your egos behind; you are nothing/ nobody/no one:</b> </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; text-align: justify;">
I may sound like Arya Stark from Game of Thrones, but
it is true that in Bombay, you are no one. You may be someone/somebody, but
that is only when you get into the league of Sachin Tendulkar, Shah Rukh Khan,
Amitabh Bachchan and the likes. Until then, you are no one in Bombay. I learnt
this truth soon enough. When I landed a job and came to this city last year, I
was over the moon. I had my ego and I thought I was someone. But then, I
realized soon that a degree from a top college and a job with a pretty pay
package aren’t really achievements to be flaunted. I looked around and found
people who have achieved much more, but were still counted as no one in this
city. This city can have that humbling effect on you. Even in an area like
quizzing, where I considered myself to be reasonable good, I realized my place
soon enough. The city ‘s quiz scene showed me that I was an amateur at best, in
the face of competition from some of the country’s best quizzers. Whatever
little ego that I had in me was gone in the first few months. I realized that there’s
a whole gamut of opportunities and to become someone in this city, it would
require some real achievement, which would require hard work and dedication.
The gist of it all is that this city shows your place soon enough and inspires
you to aim higher. </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Move on:</b>
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; text-align: justify;">
You may have heard this many times. Whatever happens,
life moves on. No city exemplifies this fact better than Bombay. Rain or shine,
recession or depression, the crowds that you find bustling in the mornings and
the evenings, will always be there. I was really surprised how no rain could
stop these people from going about their routine. I learnt a very important
lesson there. This spirit of the city helped me get over some tough times and
move on. Even when <a href="http://ashwinmurali.blogspot.in/2016/03/my-hospital-diaries.html">this happened,</a> it was this city’s spirit that helped me get
on with life and return to normalcy. We all crib about so many things in our
daily lives. I am no different. But there again, this city has brought about a
change in me. I no longer dwell on those past mistakes. Whenever I feel low or
I feel like cribbing, I take a local train ride to Dadar or Churchgate or
Bandra. All it takes is a little walk amidst the bustling crowd or a simple,
serene walk by the seaside to get my spirits back. That way, this city has
taught me that no matter what, life will just move on and you should learn to
move with it. </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Be
independent:</b> </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; text-align: justify;">
We may be dependent on others for so many things and
it may not be possible to be completely independent. But it is possible to live
your life the way you want, without depending on others. This city provides the
perfect platform for such a life. There are so many things that I started doing
independently in this city, that I discovered a new self. I explored the city
on my own for the first time. I discovered that there’s no better company than
solitude. To be with self, is a discovery from within. I had friends joining me
from time to time. I had Vibha accompanying me to the seaside or new eateries
sometimes and I had Gaurav taking me to some Hindi films or Sandeep Saw
accompanying me to some Tamil or Telugu films, now and then. But my best
company has always been solitude. That independency is something that I started
to enjoy. It helped me discover a new world and learn new things. I learnt
cooking (I cook for myself everyday now and am a decent cook). I learnt to
solve the Rubik’s Cube within 2 mins and am learning to solve a 4X4X4 cube next.
I began to rediscover my interest in the keyboard. I rediscovered my love for
teaching and that has helped me go to TIME and take classes on weekends for
students preparing for CAT. There are so many other things that I keep
exploring and learning every day that it is fair to say that I’ve gotten used
to this independent life that this city has gifted me with. When people ask me
about getting married and settling down, I tell them that marriage doesn’t
figure in my scheme of things at all. Atleast for now. I am 27 and this city
doesn’t compel you to conform to society’s rules like elsewhere. Maybe a year
or two later, I may give it a thought. Till then, it’s me and my life. If you’re
a girl and if you’re reading this and would be interested in getting married a
year or two later, give me a ping. It may work. ;-) Who knows? </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO3ozZYbPE3oab4Fzo96tWmCakBRDPXzGbJVmQFT2YiIw-ed2KB7Vi7msrQxqt1eCrahkkTLBTYu3GwkaEjhNZ7iI7HqBbvc0wPZq9Qvn1uIDac94oMLBEj2g3sn1jKTHzomMVPN7yXbqW/s1600/smiley.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO3ozZYbPE3oab4Fzo96tWmCakBRDPXzGbJVmQFT2YiIw-ed2KB7Vi7msrQxqt1eCrahkkTLBTYu3GwkaEjhNZ7iI7HqBbvc0wPZq9Qvn1uIDac94oMLBEj2g3sn1jKTHzomMVPN7yXbqW/s1600/smiley.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; text-align: justify;">
Silly jokes
apart, what I mean to say is that, in this city, more than any other city in
our country, I can choose to live my life the way I want, without worrying
about the whims and fancies of the society’s rules and restrictions. I can go
to the seaside at 2 AM and take an auto ride back without any fear of safety or
getting fleeced. The best part is that, any girl can do the same thing in
Bombay. I can get into a crowded local and not worry about getting out, for I
know I will be helped out. I can go on and on. I feel that everyone should
spend atleast a small part of their lives in this city, so that you understand
what it means to be resilient.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; text-align: justify;">
With that, I’ve paid my small, long-pending tribute to
this marvelous city that has been home to me for the past 16 months or so. With
that done, I hope I can get over my laziness and write more of all that I’ve
been wanting to write. Best of all, I hope I could get to work on my debut novel.
Yes, it’s been on the cards for some time now, but my laziness has kept it at
bay. I hope this post inspires me to get working on it again. Hope to catch you
all with some interesting post soon. Ciao.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; text-align: justify;">
-Ashwin Murali</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; text-align: justify;">
PS: I’ve not been paid a penny to write this post
promoting Bombay/Mumbai. I wish that were the case, really. :P </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO3ozZYbPE3oab4Fzo96tWmCakBRDPXzGbJVmQFT2YiIw-ed2KB7Vi7msrQxqt1eCrahkkTLBTYu3GwkaEjhNZ7iI7HqBbvc0wPZq9Qvn1uIDac94oMLBEj2g3sn1jKTHzomMVPN7yXbqW/s1600/smiley.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO3ozZYbPE3oab4Fzo96tWmCakBRDPXzGbJVmQFT2YiIw-ed2KB7Vi7msrQxqt1eCrahkkTLBTYu3GwkaEjhNZ7iI7HqBbvc0wPZq9Qvn1uIDac94oMLBEj2g3sn1jKTHzomMVPN7yXbqW/s1600/smiley.jpg" /></a> </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; text-align: justify;">
PPS: Ignore that crude bit about marriage. I don’t
want strangers pinging me. </div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Ashmurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07492523564262055217noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1411284539406341094.post-12639949909444692512016-03-20T19:59:00.000+05:302016-03-20T19:59:11.699+05:30My Hospital Diaries<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Well, there’s an often heard saying that goes like this: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">You can only plan for what’s in your
control; you can’t plan for the uncertainties. </i>The last 3-4 months have
reaffirmed my faith in this saying. I am one of those guys who’s more organized
than any of your average guys. I like having things planned in advance and I
like being organized. It’s just the way I am. But I always had this saying at
the back of my mind. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Things were fine up until 3 days before Christmas. I had even
planned on a holiday at my aunt’s place in Ahmedabad for the Christmas weekend
and had my tickets booked. Heat boils are common and little did I know then
that a small, seemingly harmless pus formation could ruin all my plans for the
next couple of months and lay me low. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This post is a recollection of my hospital experience - my
hospital diaries.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">My Hospital Diaries:</span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 0 (December 21<sup>st</sup>, 2015): I felt a slight pain
in my seat. Noticed a small heat boil. Have had heat boils before. Felt that I
should drink lots of water and it’ll go away, like usual.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 1 (22-12-15): Woke up with a slight fever. “Let me take
the day off from work. Have enough leaves left, anyway.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Took the day off, from work.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 2 (23-12-15): At work. “Oh, I am not able to sit straight
continuously. Should go to the doctor in the evening.” I visited a doctor in
the evening. Doctor said that it was the onset of an <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ano fistula.</i> Said that it was alright and I’ll be fine soon. I read
about it online. Details were scary. But my symptoms were different. Mild in
nature. I consulted my uncle who’s a doctor and took a medicine that he
prescribed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 3 (24-12-15): Pain subsided a little. The boil remained a
small one. I took the bus to Ahmedabad that night. Was supposed to return to
Mumbai in 3 days. Little did I know then that I won’t be returning to Mumbai
for another 2 months.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 4 (25-12-15): Christmas in aunt’s place at Ahmedabad.
Slight pain was there, but the boil remained the same. No growth. Felt that there
was no cause for worry, as there was no abnormal growth of the boil.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 5 (26-12-15): The pain spiked. The boil had grown a
little – from 4 mm dia to 8 mm dia. Decided that it was best to consult a
doctor. Visited a doctor with aunt and Arjun (my brother) in tow. Doctor
examined the boil. Confirmed that it was a fistula and that it had started
growing. He told me that the boil had to be surgically removed in a couple of
days, if it does not burst on its own. He prescribed some medicines.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 6 (27-12-15): The pain shot up even more. The boil had
grown to about 2 cms in dia. “Oh, no. Guess it’s now infected within, like the
doctor had predicted. Should undergo the surgery then. No other go.” I informed
my parents and they arrived in Ahmedabad that night. I decided to have the surgery
the next day, as the boil showed no signs of bursting on its own and the sooner
it was removed, the better.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 7 (28-12-15): The boil had grown incredibly to about 10
cms in dia. I got admitted in a hospital that was suggested by the doctor. Even
he was surprised at the rapid growth of the boil infection. He called a senior
surgeon to examine it, before he could operate. The senior surgeon said that
the infection has spread rapidly and the boil had swollen so much because blood
supply has been cut off to that place. He recommended surgery by that night
itself. He informed us that I may lose some skin in that region while the
infection is surgically removed and that I may have to undergo a skin grafting
surgery later on, to replace the lost skin. He also recommended that I be
shifted to a bigger hospital in the city, as he felt that the present hospital
did not have the facility to cater to such a surgery. So what was supposed to
be a minor surgery a few minutes back, had now become a major surgery. Oh, God!
I was shifted to a bigger hospital in the city in an ambulance and was taken
straight to the ICU. I was prepped for the surgery in the ICU. At 9:30 PM, I
was taken to the Operation Theater (OT). I saw a teary-eyed mom wish me luck as
I was being taken in. I was given anesthesia and was sedated. I fell asleep. I
don’t remember anything that happened over the next 2 hours. I was woken up by
the doctor at 11:30 PM. He smiled at me, indicating that the surgery was
successful. I was brought out of the OT. I could see the anxious faces of my
parents, brother, cousin and aunt. They were all smiling at me. Guess the
doctor had informed them of the successful surgery. I smiled at them and then I
was taken to the ICU.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 8 (29-12-15) & Day 9 (30-12-15): Post surgical
recovery in the ICU. The ICU is such a unique world. I could see a few other
patients lying in beds like me. Each one was fighting his/her own battle. I was
fighting my own. I was bedridden. I could not get up, but the kind nurses took
care of me and my needs. God bless those souls! To be a nurse (male or female)
is indeed a noble thing. Only a few souls who have the innate quality of
service within them, can be a nurse. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 10 (31-12-2015): Was taken to the OT for a dressing. This
dressing was done without anesthesia as recommended by the surgeon. It was the
most excruciating physical pain that I’ve experienced in my life till now. I
wish no one, I mean no one ever experiences such a pain. Horrible, it was!
Thankfully, it lasted just an hour. But that was the longest hour in my life so
far. Was shifted to a shared room in the ward, after the dressing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 11 (01-01-2016): A new year in a hospital bed. Who would
have imagined that? Certainly not me. Wishes came pouring in. I did not have my
phone with me to see who all had wished. I got to see them only a couple of
days later.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 12 (02-02-16) & Day 13 (03-02-16): Slow recovery in
ward. Like the ICU, this room too had other patients fighting their own battles,
with their family/friends in tow. I still did not have the strength to stand on
my feet. I could sit with support, but not stand or walk.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 14 (04-01-2016): I was able to stand and walk slowly with
support. The doctor heeded to my parents’ request to have me shifted to
Coimbatore. He gave us the go-ahead. Tickets were booked and my doctor uncle
agreed to come to Ahmedabad and accompany me on the trip to Coimbatore, the
next day.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 15 (05-01-16): Flight to Coimbatore from Ahmedabad, via
Mumbai. Was the most uncomfortable flight journey that I’ve ever undertaken.
Was completely reliant on the wheelchair to move in the airport. Finally
arrived in Coimbatore that night and was taken straight to Vallalar Hospital in
a cab.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 16 (06-01-16): Another painful surgical disinfection
procedure in the OT. “The next few days are going to be painful and
challenging.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 17 (07-01-16) to Day 23 (13-01-16): Painful recovery as
expected. Was put on antibiotics to ensure that there was no further bacterial
growth in the infected area, so that the skin grafting could be performed. Had
many visitors – friends & colleagues of mom and dad and relatives, during
this period. Barring my own office colleagues, roommates and a couple of my
close friends who call me often, none of my other friends knew of my plight.
And I was in no mood to inform anyone, as I did not want to be seen in the
helpless bedridden state that I was in, back then.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 24 (14-01-16): The doctor felt that I may need some fresh
air. He discharged me with the promise that I come for dressing twice every
day. He told me that he’ll do the skin grafting surgery only when he’s fully convinced
that the infected area was devoid of any bacterial growth.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 25 (15-01-16) to Day 30 (20-01-16): Pongal Celebrations
and recovery at home. This period was somewhat fun for I felt that I was
getting back to being normal again.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 31 (21-01-16): Readmitted in hospital for skin grafting
surgery. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 32 (22-01-16): Had a sumptuous breakfast with mom’s
delicious home-cooked food. Little did I know that it was going to be my last
solid food intake for the next 10 days. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 33 (23-01-16): Skin grafting surgery. A layer of skin was
removed from my right thigh and grafted in the infected region. Surgery went
well. Was brought back to the room. Was asked to lie in the same position for
the next 4 days, so as not to disturb the grafted skin.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 34 (24-01-16) to Day 36 (26-01-16): The most challenging
days in this period of hospitalization. Had to lie in the same position for
three days. Was so difficult and painful. Was counting down every hour,
literally.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 37 (27-01-16) to Day 39 (29-01-16): The doctor was
satisfied with my progress. He was impressed with my obedience and told me that
the grafted skin had set in well and that the blood flow had started within. He
agreed to have me discharged the next day.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 40 (30-01-16): Was discharged at last. Home again. Solid
food at last, after 10 days. I had lost a lot of weight – 10 kgs to be precise,
during this period. It was time for me to rest and recover at home and regain
my strength back.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 41 (31-01-16) to Day 54 (13-02-16): Rest and recovery at
home. Regained my strength. Did some office works too. Started walking well.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 55 (14-02-16): Went out for the first time in two months
to celebrate parents’ wedding anniversary. Drove the car myself. Oh, yeah! It
was a big relief that I was able to drive without any discomfort. Sign of
returning to normalcy again. Bike, though, has to wait. Not allowed to drive a
bike for another 4 months.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 56 (15-02-16) to Day 64 (23-02-16): Complete recovery at
home. Felt normal again. Doctor gave me the go-ahead to return to Mumbai. Was
eager to get back to Mumbai and rejoin work.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 65 (24-02-16): Flight back to Mumbai. Returned to
familiar territory again, after two long months.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 66 (25-02-16) to Day 69 (28-02-16): Rest at home in Mumbai.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Day 70 (29-02-16): Rejoined work. Was welcomed with open arms
at work. Oh, I missed this place and the people so much. Things are back to
normal again.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Some takeaways:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Surround yourself with the right people:</span></b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> I had the good fortune of being
amidst the best of people when the situation warranted. I had my parents,
brother, aunt, cousins, all other relatives, friends and colleagues taking care
of me, praying for me and wishing me well. All this made my recovery much
easier. I can’t imagine what might have happened if I did not have the right
people beside me when the situation warranted. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Have a good medical insurance cover:</span></b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> I was fortunate that my company was not only
professional enough to give me sufficient time to recover (2 months, in this
case), but also had an excellent medical cover for its employees. I’d suggest
everyone reading this to go in for the best medical insurance cover available,
if you do not have one. Even if you have a company-provided medical cover,
there is no harm in going for a better cover on your own, if you feel that the
cover limit is insufficient. Medical facilities are expensive these days and
it’ll certainly burn all your savings, if you do not have a good insurance
cover. Even if you’re the healthiest person in the world, I’d still suggest
that you have a good insurance cover, because some things are uncertain and
beyond our control. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Have a couple of good credit cards with you:</span></b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> This is something that really helped
me like the medical insurance. In times of emergency, like when I was shifted
from one hospital to another on Dec 28<sup>th</sup> and operated upon, credit
cards came in handy. In such times, the hospital may not wait for your
insurance agent to come and pay your surgery fees. Though you have facilities
like cashless payment cards provided by the medical insurance cover, it really
helps to have a credit card or two with you, in order to pay. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Be healthy, but be prepared:</span></b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> Apart from being a couple of kilos overweight, I was one of the
healthiest persons around. I had a healthy lifestyle with clean habits. Even
the doctors who treated me were puzzled as to how the infection became virulent
and started swelling in my body. It was then that they told me that such
bacterial growth in an infected area due to stoppage of blood supply can happen
to anybody, anywhere. There may not be a particular reason for it, for the
infection was caused by one of the most commonly found bacteria. It so happened
that the initial pus formation managed to stop blood supply to that region and
that helped its growth. So my takeaway from this experience was to be prepared
for such eventualities. This takes me back to the saying that I started this
post with. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Some things are beyond our
control.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Have a hobby:</span></b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">
By hobby here, I mean something like reading. Let’s face it. Lying in a
hospital bed all day with nothing to do but to stare at the ceiling, can
certainly bog you down. That idleness may not help you in staying positive.
This is where a hobby like reading helps. Even phones were barred. Got access
to my phone only a couple of times, every day. But my doctors were kind enough
to allow me to read for some time every day. And I read some books to keep
myself engaged. Best of all, I got to re-read the Amar Chitra Katha’s version
of the Mahabharata again. Even when I was back home, I could not go out. I had
to miss out on a lot of things. Even my close friend’s wedding. But reading
certainly helped me keep up my spirits during this period. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></i></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Be positive:</span></b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>One thing that I am really proud of is how positively I was able to
handle the whole situation. Not for a moment did I lose hope or felt dejected.
I really do not know how I was able to do it, but I did. Me staying positive,
even in the toughest of times, helped my parents and those around me. There
were people who kept telling me that everything happens for a reason. I was not
worried about the reason for the thing has already happened. I had needles
inserted in my veins and antibiotics were injected into them, twice a day.
Every time a vial of antibiotic was injected, it was really painful. I’d have
had atleast 50 hypodermic needles inserted into my skin during this period. It
was always painful. But every time it pained, I kept telling myself that this
too shall pass. I was always looking forward to that day when all this would
have passed and I’d be able to sit and write about it in leisure. That day is
finally here. The single most important sentence that kept me positive and kept
me going during this period was this: <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“This too shall pass.”</i></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I thought long and hard before I decided to write this post.
I thought if it was necessary at all to talk about it. But then, I felt it was
important to record snippets from this experience and preserve it for
posterity, while it was still fresh in my memory. Also, I felt that it may also
help the readers to learn a thing or two from my experience.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I wish you, the reader, that you never have to undergo any
such experience like I underwent. I wish you a hale and a healthy life.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Here’s to a healthy life and good times ahead.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Cheers!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">-Ashwin Murali</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">PS:</span></b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> No surgery is pretty and I decided
to leave out some of the bloody and gory description of things, in order to
respect the discretion of the reader. I just wish that no one ever gets to
experience such things or pain in life. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></div>
</div>
Ashmurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07492523564262055217noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1411284539406341094.post-70127242898796723762015-11-19T22:24:00.002+05:302015-11-19T22:24:24.052+05:3026 Vayadhinilae – I Am 26<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Note:</b> The title translates as ‘when you are 26 years old…’<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Well, the reason for this post
now is because it would lose its relevance in a couple of days for me. It
already has for a couple of respondents.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Here’s what it is. During a
casual chat with my school friends in a whatsapp group, we all realized how we
were all 26 years of age, now. Wham! An idea struck in my mind. For those who
may not know, ‘<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">16 Vayadhinilae</b>’ (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">When you’re 16 years of age…)</i> was a
landmark film in Tamizh Cinema that released in 1977 and starred both Kamal Hassan
and Rajinikanth. Taking a cue from that title, another film that released earlier
this year was titled ‘<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">36 Vayadhinilae’</b>
(<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">When you’re 36 years of age…</i>). All that
was left in between was a ‘<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">26
Vayadhinilae’ </b>(<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">When you’re 26 years
of age…</i>).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So that was the idea. Ok.
There you are – 26 years of age and you have your friends who are also of the
same age. What to do next? That’s when<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fA8h74ZW8Ok"> this iconic video titled ‘I Am 20’</a>
helped. This gave me a lot of ideas.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Very soon, I started working and
spoke to a friend who worked in the print media. For all practical purposes,
she’ll remain an anonymous entity in this post. She was excited about the
prospect of doing an article on this topic. Another friend was consulted and
very soon, we even had plans ready for a video like ‘I Am 20’. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
After a couple of weeks and a few
rounds of deliberations, it was decided that we go in for an article first and
if that shapes up well, further scope can be explored. And for the article
theme, we decided to stick to the same theme that was dealt in the video in a
more generic sense – about life at 26, the future outlook, the learnings and so
on. With the sketch ready, I started the work and reached out to many of my
friends who were 26 years of age. As expected, a few people responded in the
affirmative to help and be part of this project or whatever you may call it.
Soon, we carefully jotted down the questions that we would be asking these
people. The questions were very generic in nature. The idea was to gain some
insight into the minds of people from different backgrounds and how they looked
at life at 26. With this, we felt we could write a cover piece or an article
for the Metroplus (supplement of The Hindu) or a couple of other print
supplements that we had in the pipeline.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Among those who answered in the
affirmative, only a few actually responded to the questions that were posed to
them. Pestering did not help and after some 3 weeks, we ran out of steam. All
the enthusiasm with which we started the whole thing was gone. But to respect
those who actually took the pains to respond without expecting anything in
return, I felt it was my duty to do whatever I can and wrote an article. It did
look okay, but the result seemed a foregone conclusion. With very little
variety in the responses, even my supportive friend could not help much.
Despite her efforts, the article could not see the light of the day. So here I
am doing the least that I can do with the idea. Write a blog post on it and see
how it goes. In the next para, I’ve written a summary of the questions posed
and the responses received.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">A brief summary of ‘Life @ 26’:</b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
The respondents are as follows
(in no particular order): </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
1. Nandiprasad
V Prabhu, a 2<sup>nd</sup> year student at IIM Kashipur</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span> 2. Ajoy
George, a Consultant at Deloitte U.S India from Bangalore</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
3. Ganesh
Kumar.S, another 2<sup>nd</sup> year student at IIM Kashipur</div>
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4. R.
Rajaguru, an Airspace Manufacturing Engineer from Bangalore
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span> 5. Shivaguru
N, a writer from Delhi who’s also “an MBA student by accident”</div>
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<br /></div>
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The questions posed to them were
as follows:</div>
<ol style="text-align: left;">
<li>How do you see life at 26?</li>
<li>What do you wish to do in the
life ahead? </li>
<li>What is/are the best lesson(s)
that you’ve learnt from your experience in life so far? </li>
<li>What according to you are the most
important requirements in life for a man/woman at 26?</li>
<li>Are you happy with the state of
affairs in your country?</li>
<li>In the above question, if yes,
state a few things that you’re happy about. If no, state a few things that make
you unhappy.</li>
<li>How do you see the future of your
country to be like?</li>
<li>What changes would you like to
see in the society? Are you willing to play a part in bringing about that
change? If so, how?</li>
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Here’s a brief summary of their
responses:</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Nandiprasad Prabhu:</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQiPKqLJQErE8vpC3AO8kRWN5aL3Svu93DC0J5LuP5PYyOikNsRki811sFG8_9wooV2vxS3wUdr0zfuLm-hI-be_jlctxmhJXQJYw2-nicPNBBOVhRpHIQVoPpQvuPpTcZxKwbDRHtL_1A/s1600/Nandi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQiPKqLJQErE8vpC3AO8kRWN5aL3Svu93DC0J5LuP5PYyOikNsRki811sFG8_9wooV2vxS3wUdr0zfuLm-hI-be_jlctxmhJXQJYw2-nicPNBBOVhRpHIQVoPpQvuPpTcZxKwbDRHtL_1A/s200/Nandi.jpg" width="200" /></a>Nandi feels that his life is
pretty good at 26, and that he’s well poised to achieve something big. While he
has no specific plan for the life ahead, he feels that working smart and on
time in a structured way has been his biggest learning so far. He feels that
confidence and a determination to work towards the goals you set are the most
important requirements for a person at 26. While he’s not particularly happy
about the way things are in the country, he feels that the future is bright and
that we should be the change that we wish to see.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Ajoy George:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix10gBwdi0TNPZCmuY3X92eWym561QEUMmNifAoePCVr8RDcn1JmUwYutLKtzcRGufw43GTL0m-WA-j6wodcnIo6-K3xi6xEImXtEmDtFXs3VuWxA5vxo0UQNXi60ki2aQ4T44o_jtloKe/s1600/Ajoy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix10gBwdi0TNPZCmuY3X92eWym561QEUMmNifAoePCVr8RDcn1JmUwYutLKtzcRGufw43GTL0m-WA-j6wodcnIo6-K3xi6xEImXtEmDtFXs3VuWxA5vxo0UQNXi60ki2aQ4T44o_jtloKe/s200/Ajoy.jpg" width="200" /></a>Ajoy is a consultant and typical
of consultants, he feels that life’s a little confusing with lots of new
responsibilities. (No offence to consultants. In a way, I am one too :-P). While
he looks forward to finding a partner and settling down in life, his biggest
learning has been not to let anyone deceive him. He opines that close friends, an
orderly life and a decent income are the most important requirements for a
person at 26. Though he detests the prevalent tax structure, education system
and politicians of the country, he foresees an India that is clean,
traffic-free and economically strong. To get there, he feels that it is the
responsibility of each one of us to be disciplined in everything we do.</div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Ganesh Kumar S:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizpg4fTxrSwDQD7KSaKYSgKLq2fCAFNVdfLdSKMEUsU0L1flZaNFhBiAg2c8apeAHN3o9aK2r3lNNvcXG6pOnmgnO8DezP81jcBmEDd2HiQrygWyH4788C94wI3bAYZq3BmRxx1eHru9B4/s1600/999750_10201237246907254_149543781_n+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="190" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizpg4fTxrSwDQD7KSaKYSgKLq2fCAFNVdfLdSKMEUsU0L1flZaNFhBiAg2c8apeAHN3o9aK2r3lNNvcXG6pOnmgnO8DezP81jcBmEDd2HiQrygWyH4788C94wI3bAYZq3BmRxx1eHru9B4/s200/999750_10201237246907254_149543781_n+%25281%2529.jpg" width="200" /></a>Ganesh opens on a positive note
where he feels that he’s clear and more responsible at 26.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has his entrepreneurial ideas intact and
wishes to open a restaurant of his own in the near future. A pragmatic
individual, he feels that his biggest learning has been to be patient and
believe in self. According to him, friends, happiness, patience, determination
and money are the most important requirements for a person at 26. He feels that
in the present scenario, actions don’t follow words as people talk, but seldom
act. He also feels that the human element of care is somewhat missing in today’s
world and this may lead to a society where people chase money all their lives.
On a positive note, he signs off by saying that atleast he’ll try to be the
change that he wishes to see.</div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Rajaguru:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLB6V1MtRlL1v27mMs6a0oM5hSG4n8pn9gLrYpoiom-kwLJyWYQnxqfJHzyQ8kXWmwNvTOJNtB8tPxzsGgE_whibv5P4PLfyuJYE4vMhKW_y3ZI4Th4HbaCvu1wZ0nZHgewVsujoVl76bX/s1600/Raj+Guru.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLB6V1MtRlL1v27mMs6a0oM5hSG4n8pn9gLrYpoiom-kwLJyWYQnxqfJHzyQ8kXWmwNvTOJNtB8tPxzsGgE_whibv5P4PLfyuJYE4vMhKW_y3ZI4Th4HbaCvu1wZ0nZHgewVsujoVl76bX/s320/Raj+Guru.jpg" width="212" /></a>Rajaguru feels that he has
matured well enough to take decisions on his own at 26. While he’s worried that
his days as a bachelor are numbered, he also looks forward to travelling the
world and enjoying life to the fullest. He feels that being good to others,
respecting everyone and helping selflessly have been his biggest learnings so
far. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He opines that a good
friend/partner and a healthy mind and body are the most important requirements
for a person at 26. While he is not happy about the employment opportunities,
basic infrastructure and prevalent corruption in the country, he foresees a
rosy future free of corruption and other issues. And true to his words, he says
that he will begin his entrepreneurial stint soon and strive towards the
betterment of the society.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Shivaguru:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhdARQTS_OpgaJI1H5dCEzOCzTGKQlM1ORFzp_E1lmFMe74ZzORchMxTUazmzAAhVvdyPWaPky1cRL4v5B1GyZBS3zPo__yJkCo3SBgSJ9FN9Gsui8sQfg5ooqUk3HYaEopv99MdeO-XND/s1600/Shiva.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhdARQTS_OpgaJI1H5dCEzOCzTGKQlM1ORFzp_E1lmFMe74ZzORchMxTUazmzAAhVvdyPWaPky1cRL4v5B1GyZBS3zPo__yJkCo3SBgSJ9FN9Gsui8sQfg5ooqUk3HYaEopv99MdeO-XND/s320/Shiva.jpg" width="320" /></a>Shivaguru is a passionate poet
and writer and his jest is evident in the way he answers about how he sees life
at 26: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Lesser hair, an illusion of maturity (which might actually be the lack
of courage to experiment on the relationship front), confusions about the right
career choices, the persistent ‘Why?’ inside the head about anything and
everything, desperation for a partner and apprehensions about arranged marriage
make up the major chunk of what life looks like from across here.”</i> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He feels that he looks forward to earning as
much as possible, so as to allow him the leeway to explore on the creative front.
To not lose control of oneself and being true to self have been his biggest
learnings so far. He feels that a partner, enough income and an idea for the
future are the most important requirements for a person at 26. While he’s
generally happy about the country, he feels that it is up to the people to take
it to the next level. Echoing the sentiments of the others, he too feels that
he can be the change he wishes to see, albeit, in his own way. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">My life at 26:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
So there you go. The responses
were unique, but in a way, you could draw a parallel. A response from a girl is
something the article lacked and that certainly reduced its appeal. Writing
about the responses of these people makes me wonder how I see my life at 26. On
first thought, I don’t see it being much different than it was at 25. But on
second thoughts, I notice a lot of difference. I am more independent now than I
ever was. This also means that there’s more sense of responsibility. I am
definitely happier and my mind is much clearer than it was a year ago. I am
richer in every sense of the word and am wiser. Most importantly, I am grateful
to whatever I have and I don’t regret the things that I don’t have. Somewhere I
notice that I have become less preachy and more proactive. I’ve realized the
value of being silent and also acting instead of talking. To sum it up, I’ve
definitely improved upon myself from a year ago. I only wish for the resolve to
keep myself happy and spread the happiness around and to continue being
positive always.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFGJv3l4hbCezzApyGW62YkF_R3iw59xJs9OBYrcVTj8w3NGB9bYY0T2zZRoj5_SjEIolStDaDWOEipSFQMA1MgyoA4FJgiWF1d7hJO8qlmMVmVhQYt9qhWEVQlTxVr3If7BJ-Fd6Ib-_U/s1600/Ashwin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFGJv3l4hbCezzApyGW62YkF_R3iw59xJs9OBYrcVTj8w3NGB9bYY0T2zZRoj5_SjEIolStDaDWOEipSFQMA1MgyoA4FJgiWF1d7hJO8qlmMVmVhQYt9qhWEVQlTxVr3If7BJ-Fd6Ib-_U/s320/Ashwin.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
All said and done, this ‘26 Vayadhinilae’
may not have taken off the way I wanted it to, but writing it the way I wanted
to, with all the freedom here has made me happier than I could have been seeing
it in elsewhere. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
So long 26! You made me a better
person in every sense. Your memories will be cherished. Here’s to a glorious
26. Cheers!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Hello, 27! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">-Ashwin Murali</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</div>
Ashmurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07492523564262055217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1411284539406341094.post-35909014273859170362015-10-19T21:08:00.000+05:302015-10-20T20:54:27.108+05:30My IIM Days<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I look forward to
writing a post where I don’t begin with “Finally, I’m back”. But truth be told,
it has eluded me so far. Anyway, I’m back again.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This post is a long
overdue. I should have written it in March when one of the most wonderful journeys
of my life came to an official end. A journey that started on the 29<sup>th</sup>
of June, 2013. A journey that has given me a new identity. A journey that has
helped me improve on all spheres. A journey that has given me so many friends.
A journey that has left me with so many new experiences. A journey that has, in
a way, shaped my life for the years to come. A journey in a beautiful place
called IIM Kashipur.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It is good in a way
that it took me almost six months to come up with this post. That way, I am able
to look back at this journey with a clear, calm mind and present a balanced
picture of the days gone by.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It is also true that I
can write so much about this journey that I can easily fill a 200 page book.
But then again, the market has been flooded with books by IIT/IIM grads
recounting their stories that another book on the same topic would vanish
without a trace. I may still spin a fiction out of this some time. But for now,
I’ve tried to capture some of the real unforgettable memories, as briefly as possible.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Note:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">
This is not a story but a factual recollection of a few things here and there,
as it happened. This is not a fiction.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Warning:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">
This is a long post. I wrote it as it came to me. Hence this post could be a
boring monologue. If you’re looking to read something short and spicy, then
this is certainly not the post for you. But if you’re looking to read some
interesting things that happened in the life of a student in a new IIM, well,
then again this is not the post for you, for it may not be interesting. :P If
you’re still up for this, read on.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
start:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I.I.M. The three
letters that I strived for. You can read about the arduous journey to make it
to an IIM <a href="http://ashwinmurali.blogspot.in/2013/09/from-ainavaram-to-iim-true-life-story.html">here</a>. If you had read that post, you’d understand how much it meant
for me to be in an IIM – to achieve a cherished dream. So naturally, I was elated.
The first few days were like a dream. Despite the heavy work load and the lack
of sleep, I was on cloud 9. I quickly adapted to the new lifestyle of endless
assignments, quizzes (in B-Schools, it is a practice to call ‘tests’ as
‘quizzes’), case studies, preparation for every class, projects, numerous
lectures, guest lectures, late-night sleeps, sleepless nights and so on. I
admit that it was not easy to adapt to this new lifestyle, but the people
around me were also experiencing the same challenge and their company made it
easy for me. It was that phase where I was still reveling at the fact that I
made it to an IIM and feeling overjoyed about it. That phase probably lasted a
month and a half, post which normalcy returned.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
Speech: </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Since the moment I got
into the institute, I was clear about one thing – that I’d make the best use of
these 2 years in every way possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On
that note, I was a little enthusiastic in the first few days and tried to
participate in every activity possible. I won the Induction Quiz conducted by
the Quiz Club and that really set the tone. This enthusiasm made people take
notice of me in the initial days, I guess. It so happened that I was chosen to
give the Independence Day Speech. I have to thank my batchmate and friend Divya
Teja for recommending my name for the same. I felt it was a great honour and
that I should do justice to it. But it was also that phase where I felt
supremely confident about myself and everything I did. So I never bothered to
prepare a proper speech for the event. I just thought about a few points that I
would dwell upon and wrote them down in a tiny piece of paper. But it was also
one of those days where I felt that nothing can go wrong. I just stood before
the microphone and words flowed out of my mouth like a river approaching a
cliff. It was the best impromptu speech that I have given till date.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The faculty and friends commended me and I
too felt that I did a good job. Only after returning to the hostel, I
recollected that speech and wrote it down, lest I forget what I spoke.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can read it <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1h_HZfDt3n4ssXcsdubegV7iCKOb7YbHX1e8UFIO4i24/edit?ts=56250620">here</a>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The reason I’m
mentioning this speech here is because it was that day I truly felt that I
belonged there and I can compete with my illustrious batchmates, many of whom
were from the IITs, the NITs and the like.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ6A7K9hUyXds-sxpIFB_EUbdX7Z797LeaqoJw7crDTbz367IAUvJf7Ss75RChP6M4bFbDboSaR7CqVk_tsmKWNpiv0V989FQodQofzR_RxwYe5OUY34HVn9eynzs5GbDfUmPT7nzRJfM2/s1600/The+Speech.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ6A7K9hUyXds-sxpIFB_EUbdX7Z797LeaqoJw7crDTbz367IAUvJf7Ss75RChP6M4bFbDboSaR7CqVk_tsmKWNpiv0V989FQodQofzR_RxwYe5OUY34HVn9eynzs5GbDfUmPT7nzRJfM2/s320/The+Speech.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Independence Day Speech</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Competitions:
</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It was September and
our seniors spoke to us on the importance of participating in external events
and competitions in order to build the repute of the institute. Ours was a new
IIM and we had to work towards building the brand of IIM Kashipur. Ours was
like a start-up and the onus was on us – the pioneering batches to set the tone
and build a structure for the years to come. This actually appealed to me. I
was very proud of my institute and I decided that I’ll do all that I can to
help build the brand image of the institute. So I decided to concentrate on
quiz competitions, where I felt that I was fairly good. This was when my
partnership with Arun started. Arun Kandikonda, my senior, was a product of
K-Circle – India’s oldest Quiz Club based in Hyderabad. We instantly hit it off
and what began was a wonderful partnership that yielded so many quiz wins. We
named our team ‘Et Splendidiora’ and by the time we were done, it was a popular
team in the B-School quizzing circuit. We managed to win some 20-25 quizzes –
online and offline – in those six months from September 2013 to February 2014.
This was followed by a runner-up finish in the Tata Crucible Campus Quiz at
Dehradun, with my own batchmate Mohit Mohan. The momentum slowed down in the
second year, but there again I won a couple of quizzes, got a second place
finish in a National-level debate and another prize in a writing contest. Now
when I look back, these competitions - especially the quizzes with Arun are
some of the unforgettable memories that are vivid in my mind from my Kashipur
days.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH9i10z8B2lOl9LR6rjEUTxEriHYahPZaSZ2M3WUWrmH3DFtr-kRR9z44M2DY9FSazbCqQ2RvGu6X4tYGmtmiGmaiOAUuA6QN6Q2JBkU3fY3sRMd_TJRi0nr8IG9OijR7QnoLpE9iuGsZC/s1600/Tata+Crucible.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH9i10z8B2lOl9LR6rjEUTxEriHYahPZaSZ2M3WUWrmH3DFtr-kRR9z44M2DY9FSazbCqQ2RvGu6X4tYGmtmiGmaiOAUuA6QN6Q2JBkU3fY3sRMd_TJRi0nr8IG9OijR7QnoLpE9iuGsZC/s320/Tata+Crucible.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tata Crucible Quiz</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUJ3PPZPhJtJg8NlQla6-k5AB_5XX1I171YfDoyRTrodQd8c0YnBlpIfbnyn5jV7NKgprrCsRbgeBEuj9Jrw5JqGeQCFNsmJCtCFtBMPEZy5eElk1b4A1JzXCxIzdhKPK5kwRDfvInR3sW/s1600/QOTB.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUJ3PPZPhJtJg8NlQla6-k5AB_5XX1I171YfDoyRTrodQd8c0YnBlpIfbnyn5jV7NKgprrCsRbgeBEuj9Jrw5JqGeQCFNsmJCtCFtBMPEZy5eElk1b4A1JzXCxIzdhKPK5kwRDfvInR3sW/s320/QOTB.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Quiz on the Beach</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Initiatives:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">With the objective of
building the brand name of the institute, we initiated many new things at IIM
Kashipur.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were 5 student committees
and 6 clubs when we came into the institute. The number stood at 8 committees
and 18 clubs by the time we bid our farewell. My seniors, juniors and my own
batchmates worked earnestly to make this possible. In addition to this, we also
brought in a structure, wherever necessary. For my part, I joined hands with a
couple of my seniors – Srikanth and Arun and we started this new Literary Club
and named it ‘Can’t Stop Reading’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
the Quiz Club too, Arun & I initiated a few new activities and these were
further built on in the second year when my fellow Quiz Club members and I
introduced the Kashipur Quizzing League, the buzzer quizzes, Quriosity – the
Quiz Club Newsletter, ‘Out of Syllabus’ quiz and so on. The final icing in the
cake was our flagship quiz – ‘Rumble in the Jungle’. On the Lit Club side, we
introduced debates and other activities and the culmination point was the first
ever Lit Fest of IIM Kashipur, which my juniors organized with much fanfare. We
also introduced the Yearbook for seniors and then followed it up with a
Yearbook for our batch. The second Yearbook was brought out after much struggle
and I consider it as one of our biggest achievements. Our annual management
fest – Excelsior, our cultural fest – Agnitraya, the Leadership Conclave, the
Annual Magazine – Revista, the IT Conclave, Neev – the Operations Conclave, DigiGo
Social Media Week, MStore, Samanvaya – the HR Conclave, etc. were some of the
other initiatives that I was a part of in some small way or the other – mostly
as an anchor for these events, during this period.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">But the biggest
initiative of all was bringing a TEDx event to our institute. I was happy that
I could play a significant role in this initiative.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaLyMCLG3ZvxqFGd4pM7CDCJac90NDRhneE-GBwFYjYBhnevfSUyUWH2p0xy_iDU16QF9unRpUDAgtN6nzufGow_b3pTkUTTirFYac-AEBZiKVAW_mzl2quvdxP18mGX7qRdpi9vWGzlor/s1600/Pongal.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaLyMCLG3ZvxqFGd4pM7CDCJac90NDRhneE-GBwFYjYBhnevfSUyUWH2p0xy_iDU16QF9unRpUDAgtN6nzufGow_b3pTkUTTirFYac-AEBZiKVAW_mzl2quvdxP18mGX7qRdpi9vWGzlor/s320/Pongal.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pongal Celebration - Another Initiative :-)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Academics:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In the very first month
at Kashipur, I realized that this course is not going to be a smooth sailing as
far as academics was concerned. I realized that I have to work hard if I were
to get good grades. Relative grading made it more difficult to get good grades.
Not only should I do well, I have to do relatively well, compared to my
batchmates in order to earn good grades. I did struggle initially and for about
2-3 months, I did feel that I might have made a mistake by joining this course.
But things got better once I got into the groove. Still, this was not going to
be a course where I could top a class like I did in Engineering without much
effort. Here my priorities were clear. I wanted to do well in so many
activities, that academic excellence was not my top priority. Still, I wanted
to ensure that I finished above average and that I finally managed to do
comfortably. Choosing subjects in the domain I liked helped boost my academic
performance in the second year and I finished with an overall CGPA of 7.6,
which placed me in the top 30% of the batch. I was happy with that. Looking
back, I realize that I did have the capability to achieve a CGPA of 8.4 or
more, but that would have meant compromising on so many other activities that I
was able to do. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The point here is not
that academics was not important in a B-School, but there are other things
which are equally important and it was important to prioritize things and
balance those priorities well. In the end, I was quite happy and satisfied with
my performance, both academically and otherwise.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
Internship:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">One important activity
for any B-Schooler in the first year is the Summer Internship Programme. I did
manage to get a good internship offer with Emerson Network Power. I was to fly
to Mumbai for two months to do my internship project in the field of Digital
Marketing. Those two months – April and May 2014 – were probably the most
comfortable and relaxed period during my two years of MBA. It was only during
that period, was I able to sleep well for 7-8 hours every day. I stayed in IIT
Bombay campus and had a wonderful time exploring the beautiful campus every
evening with my batchmates Arnab and Vibha, who also stayed in the same campus
during that period. It was my first time in Mumbai and I experienced everything
that a person visiting Mumbai for the first time experiences. Initially, it was
a shock for the first 10 days and slowly, the shock turned into awe and by the
time those two months were over, I was completely in love with this city. It is
a love story that continues to this day and I’ll write about this awesome city
in a separate blog post. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Work was also
pretty enjoyable and I enjoyed travelling to my office in Thane every day from
the IIT campus via the famed local trains of Mumbai. That 60 day internship was
followed by a two week holiday at home in Coimbatore, before I started the
second year. These 75 days refreshed me both mentally and physically and all
signs of exhaustion that were present during the busy months of February and March
2014 were gone. I was now ready for second year.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
juniors: </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">One of the things that
we all looked forward to eagerly in our second year was the imminent arrival of
our juniors. Everyone had their own reasons as to why they were so eagerly
looking forward to this ;-) For me, I was looking forward to having people take
forward the initiatives that were started by us. I was eager to share the
responsibilities that rested on my shoulders with them. I had a wonderful time
with my juniors during my second year and developed a good rapport with most of
them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They learnt a few things from me
and I learnt many things from them. Similarly, my other batchmates too had a
great time with the juniors. TEDx, Rumble in the Jungle, Lit Fest and so many
other events happened because of the efforts put in by them, along with my own
batchmates. I am not a tough taskmaster, but I had to act tough on a couple of
occasions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were so many times when
a junior walked up to me for some advice or the other and I was glad to help
them in any way possible. Overall, the juniors were as much an integral part of
my IIM days as my seniors were. I cherish those memories and the bond
developed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
busiest period ever:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It is not often that I
use superlatives to describe anything, but I have termed this period from
August to December 2014 as the busiest period of my life so far, for it was
really that. I was occupied with so many things during this period on all
spheres that I slept for only about 4-5 hours on an average every day. I had
some work or the other to keep me occupied during this period. Be it academics
or club activities or the events that happened during this period, especially
TEDx, or some of the competitions that I took part in or getting ready for
placements, I was always occupied during this period. But this period also
yielded some of the happiest moments of my IIM days. I became a published
author during this period. The book I co-wrote with authors from other IIMs titled
‘Small Big Bang’ got published during this period. It was a proud moment and a
dream come true for me. Another dream – TEDxIIMKashipur happened successfully
during this period. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My birthday that
happened during this period remains one of my happiest days in Kashipur. It was
celebrated with so much fanfare and the spontaneous outflow of love (that’s a
polite way of describing the birthday bumps :P) totally floored me (literally
and figuratively: P). This period drained me out so much that I spent the week
of term break in December resting in my room at Kashipur, while my batchmates
went home or went on a holiday to some of the picturesque locales near
Kashipur.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This period threw up so many
challenges that I emerged a stronger person with a steely resolve after this
period. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Clubs
and Committees:</span></b><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">One of the reasons why
I was busy during the above mentioned period was because of my involvement in
many student clubs and committees. During my second year, I was the Secretary
of the Quiz Club, Secretary of the Lit Club, Head of MStore, Executive Member
of the Magazine Crew, Executive Member of the Marketing Club and an Executive
Member of the Infrastructure & IT Committee. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was the reason why the then Student Council
framed a rule citing that no student can be a part of more than two clubs and
one committee. But all this did not happen by choice. It happened by
chance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If left to choice, I would have
been a part of just the Quiz Club and the Lit Club. But in some way or the
other, my presence was needed in all these clubs & committee and I accepted
the opportunity with open arms. I had a good time in the Quiz Club and the Lit
Club as mentioned above. I had a nice time in Infracomm, where my
responsibility was to coordinate with the concerned authorities and get the
problems in IT, electricity, carpentry and plumbing rectified in Hostel 1, whenever
necessary. I learnt quite a few things about networks, wifi and routers in this
role. I was also a part of the editorial team (Magazine Crew a.k.a. MagCrew)
that brought out the first and the second editions of our institute’s annual
magazine – ‘Revista’. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the Marketing
Club, I was a part of the team that conducted a series of competitions during
the DigiGo Social Media Week, including two brand quizzes. But my maximum time
was consumed by MStore, where we struggled a great deal. You can read about our
MStore story <a href="http://ashwinmurali.blogspot.in/2015/06/management-lessons-from-m-store.html">here</a>. To sum it up, I can definitely say that I can’t talk about
my IIM days without mentioning the clubs and committees which consumed a
significant chunk of my time during my time at Kashipur. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5vjwroSXSilfpsRMnDwVHZV-CFI-EMWTPKDHofLu5LMCTGsWRnG3qGFknTEjl8yOr3OwI_RUoFghe7KMEvH1hEuy2STmceubVdVvUFqkk_LbAgq4CqNgvLZvYvGKiqmBfL1TZFaa4NqaM/s1600/Buzzer+Quiz.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5vjwroSXSilfpsRMnDwVHZV-CFI-EMWTPKDHofLu5LMCTGsWRnG3qGFknTEjl8yOr3OwI_RUoFghe7KMEvH1hEuy2STmceubVdVvUFqkk_LbAgq4CqNgvLZvYvGKiqmBfL1TZFaa4NqaM/s320/Buzzer+Quiz.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A Buzzer Quiz in progress</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">TEDxIIMKashipur:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The one event that
became a benchmark for all other events was this event – TEDxIIMKashipur.
November 9<sup>th</sup>, 2014 will remain etched in my memory forever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was one of the biggest challenges that we
faced and it was one event where everything fell in place, just in time. It was
also one event that gave me an opportunity to lead from the front as a Licensee
of the event and brought out a new facet in me. I enjoyed my role and I have to
place on record that it was a massive team effort that made it happen. The
teamwork was on display the day before the event when everyone chipped in, one
way or the other and I felt completely happy that day. It was a huge team of 55
people and everyone performed his/her role to perfection and we managed to pull
it off. The event was widely praised and it was only on the night of November 9<sup>th</sup>
that I managed to sleep well in over 2 months. I will cherish the memories of
the event forever. What the event also did was convince me in the abilities of
my juniors and on that day, I got the confidence that these people will carry
forward the good work done by my seniors and my own batchmates in building the
brand image of our institute. Needless to say, they have ensured that a grand
TEDx event happens this year too and I am completely confident that it’ll be
bigger and better than last year’s event and raise the bar higher for the years
to come.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbuDwGEdw3L1u3qwt-4xB64VGsYu93jysVoRB4ROWQEKbChyY_RphYmZB6uabyMJV5-6aoS7yZ-hYVfQrgMG9CwFehrYq8MqxPWFH7BOso7Cx0i31Fbl70hLTE3-zlCZiPHrdpbrwQwwOK/s1600/TEDx.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="140" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbuDwGEdw3L1u3qwt-4xB64VGsYu93jysVoRB4ROWQEKbChyY_RphYmZB6uabyMJV5-6aoS7yZ-hYVfQrgMG9CwFehrYq8MqxPWFH7BOso7Cx0i31Fbl70hLTE3-zlCZiPHrdpbrwQwwOK/s320/TEDx.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">TEDxIIMKashipur Team</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
Dream Quiz:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In January 2014, Arun
and I qualified for the finals of the prestigious Quiz on the Beach (QOTB), the
flagship event of TAPMI in Manipal. We had a wonderful time and it also gave us
an idea of hosting a similar quiz event in our institute. TAPMI had a beach
close to their campus and hence they made use of it. We had the famous Jim
Corbett National Park located close to our institute and that gave us the idea
of having a Quiz in the Jungle. In my second year, our team meticulously planned
for this quiz. A lot of constraints were there and we were not sure if we could
do this quiz until December, when we managed to get a venue sponsorship from
Aahana Resorts, located within Jim Corbett. That pepped us up and in two months
time, we managed to host the quiz which we called the ‘Rumble in the Jungle’
(RITJ). We gave away very good prize money and Mr. J Krishnamurthi, a renowned
Quizmaster from Hyderabad hosted the quiz. Despite many hurdles, the quiz
happened on February 7<sup>th</sup>, 2015 and it was indeed a dream come true.
The seeds were sowed for a bigger and a better RITJ this year. That was my last
hurrah, as far as events in IIM Kashipur were concerned. It was a fitting final
bow and I thoroughly enjoyed the experience of being a part of so many events
during the two years.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWdHu219TI7wuH3JqQx5TQYo5pZBktUkUo3fc7ndRlEK0sxFGUDw2-juNChlwrTYDcjHdFRk5Zu2Px2dWRQrlbPLn4Wp-ZOsVfQIpRUZ4RnC62rdGQ77UYHk7y0xzB0qb34SuNOEymUY4P/s1600/RITJ.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWdHu219TI7wuH3JqQx5TQYo5pZBktUkUo3fc7ndRlEK0sxFGUDw2-juNChlwrTYDcjHdFRk5Zu2Px2dWRQrlbPLn4Wp-ZOsVfQIpRUZ4RnC62rdGQ77UYHk7y0xzB0qb34SuNOEymUY4P/s320/RITJ.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Rumble in the Jungle - The Dream Quiz</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Clamour
for Jobs:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">For many, the prime
reason for struggling to make it to an IIM is to give a fillip to their career
with a good job. Ours being a new institute, we had a rolling placement process
– the companies keep coming throughout the year once the process starts and are
not confined to fixed days. Our season began in October 2014. Since then, the
companies kept coming at regular intervals and one by one, my batchmates
grabbed the job offers of their choice. Yes, it’s a choice. For my part, I
wanted to wait for the right company and the right profile that would suit me.
So I was in no hurry to apply for jobs. While the clamour for jobs made many in
my batch get into a frenzied mood, somehow I remained unaffected by all that
for a long time. Now looking back, I really don’t know what gave me the
confidence to take it light, but that allowed me to concentrate on organizing
events like TEDx and RITJ. At the back of my mind, I was confident that
something right will click and I just have to be patient. It did click, even if
it was a little later than I expected, but I was happy that I got the right
job.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
irreplaceable loss:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I could have just
finished this post with the high points, but that wouldn’t do justice to all
the struggles experienced. No journey is without its fair share of struggles.
This journey was no different and I experienced my fair share of struggles on
so many fronts during these two years. If you had read that post on MStore,
you’d have got an idea about one of the major struggles that I experienced
during this period. There were many disappointments too, for no journey is
complete without experiencing the highs and the lows. But none of these
disappointments would even come close to the shock that we all experienced on
the morning of January 31<sup>st</sup>, 2015. One of our beloved batchmates,
the brilliant Bharat Bansal, who was also the topper of the batch, met with an
unfortunate accident and passed away. The fact that he was a nice person and a
good friend to all of us, made it even more difficult. A product of IIT Madras,
he was, in the words of our Dean, the most intellectual student to have studied
in our institute so far. The reason that I mention him here is to remind and
recollect the memories and cherish them. His was an irreplaceable loss. That
really affected all of us in the last two months of our stay at Kashipur. I
have no shame in admitting that he was a much better writer than me. Yet, he
always insisted that I edit his articles which he wrote for our annual
magazine. From your heavenly abode, if you’re reading this, please know that we
miss you and your memories will always be cherished by us, my dear friend.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
last few days:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The last few days in
Kashipur weren’t really the best of days, atleast for me. On the one hand, it
was a struggle to ensure that we got the Yearbook for our batch that we
promised. On the other hand, the ideal job that I was waiting for was not
coming. As of February 21<sup>st</sup>, 2015, our course was over and we were
free to leave the campus. The Convocation was scheduled for the 17<sup>th</sup>
of March, 2015. So people who had already got their jobs packed their bags and
left the campus by the end of February. Some people went on tours to the
choicest of places like Goa, Nepal and the like. It was at this point, I began
to feel a little pressured for putting off the task of finding a job. I was
left with no choice but to apply for any company that came for placements then.
The other struggle was the numerous issues that we faced during the final few
days with regards to our Yearbook. Since I had taken up the responsibility of
the same, I had to work to sort out those issues and get some clearances and
ensure that the Yearbook got delivered in time for our Convocation. In the last
few days, we also had to hand over some important responsibilities like TEDx,
RITJ and so on to our chosen successors. All these tasks ensured that I had to
stay on in Kashipur till Convocation, even though many of my batchmates had
left. It was in March 2015, in the days leading to our Convocation that I felt
lonely for the first time in Kashipur. I was desperate to go on a holiday, but
could not. A couple of good companies with the right kind of profile that I was
hoping for were to come for placements then and I had to ensure that I crack
one of them. I eventually cracked one of them. In short, the last few days are
something that I wouldn’t like to remember, but they bear testimony to some of
my struggles in Kashipur.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
Proud Moment:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The day of Convocation
finally dawned upon us on the morning of March 17<sup>th</sup>, 2015. All
people who had left for their homes and elsewhere returned one last time with
their parents, siblings and relatives in tow. It was as much a proud moment for
them as it was for us to finally graduate from an IIM after two years of hardwork.
Yes, it’s a hard task to be frank. People only talk about the struggle to get
into a B-School like an IIM, but it is equally difficult to graduate
successfully. So it was something that we all eagerly waited for and the day
was finally upon us. My parents and my brother came to Kashipur for the same.
What made it more special for me was that I was awarded the ‘Medal for the Best
All-Round Performance’ for the class of 2015. I was overwhelmed and so were my
parents and my brother. The efforts put in towards building the brand image of
the institute through various events, competitions, clubs, and committees and
so on, probably helped in me getting the medal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was a surreal experience to pose for newspapers and give interviews.
That was indeed my proudest moment in the institute. I wouldn’t call it the
happiest because so many other emotions were running through my mind then,
including the fact that it was finally time to bid farewell to the institute
and its people. But it was a very proud moment even for my parents and brother.
My most profound feeling at the end of that day was that of sincere gratitude.
I felt thankful to all the people who had helped me in that journey, in some
way or the other. I’ll never forget that day. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0e59LZ9l6D1StQYNqXW4wHSe6EP7ue5hG9wRbAIRjz6mvLfVijgtTW-F1Wh4trnA9hhKsiLkxN340KyMSMdLXAoxy7uKW-9I6hIqYo_i6bXslxNxFpIvo-ZLW1BRKmVR80cioHHRpN7_P/s1600/Convo.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0e59LZ9l6D1StQYNqXW4wHSe6EP7ue5hG9wRbAIRjz6mvLfVijgtTW-F1Wh4trnA9hhKsiLkxN340KyMSMdLXAoxy7uKW-9I6hIqYo_i6bXslxNxFpIvo-ZLW1BRKmVR80cioHHRpN7_P/s320/Convo.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My Proudest Moment in IIM Kashipur</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
Job:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It was only a week
after my convocation that the fate of my job got sealed. On the last day of my
stay in Kashipur, I gave an interview via video-conferencing and on the 24<sup>th</sup>
of March, I was summoned to the Head Office of Indofil Industries in Mumbai. I
had to take a detour from Kashmir, where I was holidaying with my parents, to
fly down to Mumbai. I got the job that day and I flew back that very night to
Kashmir to rejoin my parents in their holiday. It was all like a scene lifted
out of some movie, where there’s a fairytale ending. That’s how it really was.
In the end, the three months of struggle since the start of the year bore fruit
and it all ended well. I went back home to Coimbatore a happy man with a job in
hand and a medal-winning performance to show for. Now looking back, I can
safely say that I did the right thing in waiting for the right job. Yes, it was
a risk laden with so many things and I had to bear so many talks and so many
unheeded advices, but in my mind I was very clear about one thing. I would
rather wait now for the right job, than take something that wouldn’t
suit me and regret later. It did pay off at the end, but it is not something
that I’d advise anyone to do.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
Legacy:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It has been more than
six months now since the journey ended (infact, it’s been seven months exactly
today) and this time has certainly helped me to reflect and look back at the
journey with pride. These six months have brought in so much happiness and
cheer, that it has reiterated my belief that it was all worth it. I now work as
a Manager in the CEO’s Office (called Growth Office) in Indofil Industries Ltd.
and I have enjoyed this journey so far. Time and again when my boss mentions
that me and a few of my colleagues in my department are the bright young minds
from IIM, I can’t help but feel a sense of pride and gratitude towards my
institute. But it also means that I have to live up to the expectations that
people have of me. The same is true for my batchmates too. It is a huge
challenge, no doubt, but it’s something that we are learning to take it in our
stride and face it with a sense of pride and a smile.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Parting
Shots:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Now I am sure if you’ve
read till here, some questions might be cropping up in your mind. What about
all the masala - the masala that Chetan Bhagat cleverly employed in his stories
about an IIT and an IIM? Well, all institutes have their own masala elements.
One of the frequent questions that I often get asked is if I found a girl in
IIM Kashipur. I blame Chetan Bhagat for doing this. Fortunately or
unfortunately, I never had such luck, but it never bothered me. I was clear as
to what I wanted from the institute – the IIM tag that I can proudly flaunt and
make up for my IIT miss. I got that and much more. I also got so many friends
that I’ll cherish that association for life. The hostel wing that I stayed in
was called ‘The Hive’. We made up that name and I wrote a song for it. Some of
the best memories of my life so far are associated with ‘The Hive’. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh630lNEsXdZsy5icsGmbwa9lrJMRsX7ImBEFbqiH9lrYD5E9GHw7nIoXPv3CGWCiTWGjP3Wep7sPzhw8TYejaQNWbVbF2Op_wuyrFwh12Frsx-kiNdHoopeokWll63B6L-emz6Yze1zPhI/s1600/Hive+2.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh630lNEsXdZsy5icsGmbwa9lrJMRsX7ImBEFbqiH9lrYD5E9GHw7nIoXPv3CGWCiTWGjP3Wep7sPzhw8TYejaQNWbVbF2Op_wuyrFwh12Frsx-kiNdHoopeokWll63B6L-emz6Yze1zPhI/s320/Hive+2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Hive </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It’s always
a debate as to whether it is the institute that makes its people or if it the
people who make the institute. I strongly believe in the latter and I was
blessed for the wonderful people that I spent this journey with. I am not a fan
of Chetan Bhagat, but I really liked his parting shots in ‘Five Point Someone’.
So I am borrowing the same here. I may have graduated from the institute and
may have moved out of Kashipur, but a part of my soul still resides there. It’s
probably taking a stroll down the corridors of ‘The Hive’ or in the H1
Classroom or holding a microphone in the auditorium or having a cup of chai in
the night canteen. It will always be there, for sure.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">- Ashwin Murali</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">PS:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">
I’m a firm believer in the idea that one swallow does not make a summer.
Likewise, none of the above events/initiatives/whatever are one-man efforts. It
never was, it can never be and it will never be a one-man effort. Every single
thing mentioned in this post is a result of efforts put in by a lot of people.
I am just one of them. Keeping in line with that spirit, I’ve taken care to
mention we, us, ours, everywhere. If I had missed it somewhere and mentioned I,
me or mine anywhere, then please know that it’s a genuine mistake and that’s
not how it was intended to be. </span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Ashmurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07492523564262055217noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1411284539406341094.post-13027970540150176382015-06-15T23:12:00.001+05:302015-06-15T23:12:46.009+05:30Management Lessons from M-Store<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Hi to all my readers!
It’s been quite a while! Three months to be exact. These three months saw a lot
of changes. I graduated from IIM Kashipur and started working in Mumbai. More
on all that later – in my next blog post about my IIM days. For now, let us
stick to the topic of this post.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b>Warning:</b> This is a long, 3000 word post.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b>Note:</b> This post may interest you if you are interested in entrepreneurship or would like to read about some of the challenges linked to it. Otherwise, this post may not interest you. Will come back with an interesting post for you soon. </span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">M-Store:</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">MStore or Merchandise
Store was a store that we ran during our days at IIM Kashipur. What is it? Who started
it? Why does it merit a blog post? So many questions may arise. Let me answer
all that, as briefly as I can.</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">A
brief history of MStore:</span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
Inception:</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The Merchandise Store
of IIM Kashipur was started in September 2013. An initiative of On Your Mark,
the Marketing Club of IIM Kashipur, the Store was started by our senior members
of the Marketing Club, ably led by Mr.Lakshya Sharma. The initiative was an
idea of our coolest Prof – Prof. Dwarika Uniyal. The idea of the store was to
procure IIM Kashipur – branded merchandise for the students, faculty and staff
of IIM Kashipur.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many of my batchmates
got on board as we were excited by an idea of such a store, run by the
students. A chance conversation with Lakshya got me into the Store. All that I
had to offer then was a contact that I had from Tiruppur – the textile
manufacturing hub of the country.</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Our
First Order:</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We started with our
first order – winter hoodies to withstand the cold of Kashipur. That was a
first-time experience for us and as novices, we made a lot of mistakes. Right
from order-taking to negotiations to customization to money collection to
sample checking to delivery, there were mistakes committed at every stage. The
result was that the product was delivered late – late by about a month. What’s
worse was that we had gone for a complicated design – a design that could be
done only by a digital printer. Despite the supplier’s warning that the design
would look awkward if done by traditional printing, we asked him to go ahead as
we were running late on schedule. As informed, the design looked shoddy and
awkward. We delivered the product and as expected, received a lot of flak. But
on the bright side, the product quality was decent and it withstood the cold of
Kashipur. In between, we also took orders for a winter cap, where again, some
miscommunication led to a product that was too flimsy to withstand the Kashipur
cold.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For both these orders, we went
with a vendor from Tiruppur.</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
Redemption:</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It was March 2014.
Having received mixed responses for our first 2 orders, we really wanted to
redeem ourselves. We analyzed our mistakes in the first 2 orders and we learnt
what not to do from our end. We decided to go in for a T-shirt order now,
before it was time for us to leave for our summer internship. Despite the short
operating time, we went ahead with the order, focusing exclusively on our batch
alone. The result was that we were able to deliver the shirts right on the last
day of the term. For once, the product was on time and without any mistake. For
once, we received some positive response and that pepped us up.</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
second year:</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We were ready for the
second year. We were completely in control and we planned it all. We knew that
we had some good orders in store this year and our faculty members were supportive
too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>During the short holiday we had, I
paid a visit to Tiruppur and to that particular supplier. I visited his plant
and tried to understand the manufacturing process. That visit convinced me of
the credentials of the supplier. I discussed this with our team and we realized
that the debacle of our first order was more of our mistake than that of the
supplier’s, for he followed our instructions to a T. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So we had zeroed in on
that supplier for our biggest order to date – IIM Kashipur T-shirts for the students.
This time around, having learnt from our past mistakes, we were spot on from
our end. Right from order taking to order placement to money collection, we
made no mistake. We were happy with our work. But then there’s Murphy’s Law
right? If everything was going right, then there’s certainly something wrong
and Mr.Murphy had to intervene. Like the classical law, everything that could
possibly go wrong at the vendor’s side went wrong. Here’s a look-back on the sequence
of events:</span></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We placed the final order to the vendor
and paid the advance on September 2<sup>nd</sup>, 2014. The vendor promised
delivery of the finished product on or before September 25<sup>th</sup>. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">First, there was a delay in raw material
supply to the vendor.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Then, the print did not stick to the
fabric initially.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As a result of these, there was an
operational delay at the vendor’s end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
production got delayed by 10 days.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">By September 15<sup>th</sup>, we were
forced to take an additional order due to a confusion that arose with respect
to the batch T-shirt. As a result, an additional 30 pieces were added to the
initial order on September 17<sup>th</sup>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When the sample product was ready, the
vendor sent a whatsapp image for approval, as I had already seen the fabric
during my visit to Tiruppur. The image was of the shirt before the printing of
our institute logo. The product was approved by us without the logo. Little did
we think that the logo printing would go so wrong.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The vendor dispatched the final product
on September 30<sup>th</sup>. We were supposed to have it by October 4<sup>th</sup>.
</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">By October 7<sup>th</sup>, there was no
sign of the product reaching us while the online status showed that the product
was delivered. We contacted the vendor who contacted the courier.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">9.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The courier service was clueless
initially. Then they promised to get back to us within a day. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">10.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We discovered the next day that the
product got shipped to the wrong address due to some confusion with two similar
packages. Whether, the mistake was on the courier’s part or the vendor’s, we
were not sure. Anyway, the product then got shipped again.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">11.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Finally, we got the product on October
16<sup>th</sup>. We were in for a shock. The logo that we did not check was
printed in the wrong color.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">12.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Imagine if Manchester United logo were
printed in blue colour or Chelsea’s in red color, how blasphemous it would be.
The same was the case here. Instead of dark blue color, the logo was in a light
shade of blue. When asked about it, the vendor coolly replied that only with a
light shade would the logo appear nice in the dark background. Oh God! I gave
the vendor an earful that night. That was probably the angriest that I had been
in Kashipur.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">13.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The next 2 days were spent on contemplating
what to do as the wrong logo would be deemed unacceptable. I was on the phone
all the time for the next 2 days and the vendor finally agreed to take them
back and rework on them, to get us the correct logo.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">14.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It was an arduous task to repack the lot
and re-ship them back to the vendor. The whole deal cost me about Rs.8k
personally (which I adjusted in the final payment to the vendor).</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">15.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The lot was re-shipped on October 21<sup>st</sup>.
Then it was a long wait for something to happen from the vendor’s side. So many
tricks were tried on the fabric by the vendor to no avail. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">16.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It was mid-November and by now, many
people started demanding a refund of their money, and we had to refund a few
people who were willing to wait no longer. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">17.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Finally, the vendor decided to attach a
patch of the right logo over the wrongly printed logo. Since we had no other
recourse, we agreed and the patch-up work was done.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">18.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Then the issue of payment cropped up. We
had paid only 50 percent and the vendor felt that we may not pay him the
remaining due to the delay. So he demanded that we pay him up or else, he won’t
dispatch. Oh God! This was a shocker and he was behaving like a goon. I then
spoke with him, paid him a token amount and got the goods dispatched.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">19.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Finally, the goods arrived on December 3<sup>rd</sup>,
2014. A delay of 68 days. By now, people who ordered had even forgotten that
they had placed an order with us. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">20.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We gave away the shirts and for once, I
was a relieved man.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<![endif]--><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
aftermath, the devil threat and handing over the baton:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The T-shirt order took
a huge toll on me – mentally, physically and emotionally. I decided not to be
directly involved in any of the upcoming orders. My teammates stepped in and
they took care of some of the other orders like TEDx T-shirts, winter hoodies,
fest T-shirts, fest hoodies and so on. Most of these orders were successful as
we built a new supplier network consisting of suppliers from the vicinity that
we managed to seal a deal with. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">But one of the orders –
the TEDx t-shirts, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>got delayed. The
first batch of shirts was delivered on time, while the second batch got delayed
by about 25 days. That delay spurred an anonymous mail sent in the name of
‘devil’, which spewed venom in every sentence. That only added to our headache,
but we knew better to carry on with our work than to waste our time on
anonymous mails.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Finally, it was time
for us to hand over the reins of the Store to our junior team. We had a wealth
of knowledge to share with them through our learnings from our own experiences–
mostly on what not to do, rather than what to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But with the knowledge of all our mistakes to
guide them and with a renewed list of a good vendor base in hand, we have left
them with an excellent structure in place, from where they could take the Store
forward. We had already hit rock-bottom during our tenure and so they have
nothing to worry about. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I firmly hope
and believe that the Store is set to soar high in the days to come.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Lessons
learnt from MStore:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">During the course of
running the Store, we learnt so many things – both good and bad. Sometime
during the T-shirt fiasco phase, I decided that if we ever come out of it, I’ll
definitely write about it someday. Sounds like Chetan Bhagat, I know, but yeah,
whatever. Here are some lessons that we learnt:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Buy Right: </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Prof.
Dwarika informed us that the golden rule of retailing is to buy right. We
faltered on that front on many occasions and we paid the price.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">There are no friends in business:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This
may shock some of you, but if you’re serious about your business, you’ll
understand. Don’t let any personal equation come in the way of professional
relationships. I was on friendly terms with the Tiruppur supplier and we
interacted like friends. I was able to negotiate a good price too, because of
this. But all that changed with that T-shirt order and the day he threatened us
to pay in order to dispatch. That was a rude wake-up call. That’s when I
realized how it was a mistake on my part to try and be on friendly terms with
him. While it was okay to be friendly, there always exists a thin line that
separates the professional front from personal relationships and it is
important to be conscious of that.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Create competition:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This
is a simple rule of Economics. Monopoly seldom thrives. Always create a competition.
Our reliance on a single supplier in the initial stages, cost us dear. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Seeing is believing – not quite:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> As
far as this Store is concerned, I’d not settle for seeing. I’d need to touch
and feel the sample, before I’d believe. Never go in for an order without
physically examining the sample yourselves. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The customer is always right:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Well,
this is the hardest lesson to take in. It is a simple fact. The moment a person
pays you – be it 1 rupee or 500 rupees, he/she becomes your customer. A
person’s behavior changes completely the moment a transaction takes place.
Friends may turn foe, foes may turn friends. It’s all part of the game. Through
it all, remember this fact! The customer is always right! The success of your
business depends on his/her satisfaction. But then…</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It is impossible to satisfy
everyone:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This
is something that you need to understand and accept. While you can strive hard
to give your best, perfection is not always possible. There will always be that
one customer who may not be satisfied, no matter what you give. Their sole
objective might be to find fault with everything. You can never satisfy them. It
is important to identify them early and weed them out slowly, if you are to
move forward.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Never promise more than what you
can deliver:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This
is another important lesson that we learnt the hard way. You can promise less
and deliver more. That way, you’ll delight the customer. But by doing the
opposite, you will only disappoint him/her.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Apologize when things go wrong:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Yes.
Own up your mistakes!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Apologize! The one
thing that we became experts in during our tenure at the Store was in writing
apology mails. :P <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Not something that we
can be proud of, yet, it is something that we learnt and learnt to do well. The
numerous apology mails to all the angry emails that we received from peeved customers
made us experts in the art of writing apology mails. And we received so many
howlers. Most of them from people we knew well on the outside. That’s when I
realized how people change the moment they become customers. I even wondered
how so-and-so person could spew so much venom in his/her mails, when he/she
hardly utters a word outside. That ‘devil’ anonymous mail was another
case-in-point. But anonymous mails don’t deserve apologies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I realized that even I might do the same the
moment I become a customer. The other day, I received an apology mail from Ola
cabs and I was laughing at it, for I felt that I could write the mail better :P
Experience, you see! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>;-) :P</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">9.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Things can still go wrong:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Despite
all your efforts, there are certain things that are beyond your control. And so
things can go wrong. So be prepared for it and don’t fret over it. During the
months of October and November 2014, I hardly had a night of peaceful sleep.
Whenever anyone questioned me on the shirts or passed a comment on the MStore,
I felt hurt. Every morning, I used to wake up and the first thought that came
to me was about the shirts. I used to open the MStore mail id the first thing
in the morning and see if there are any angry emails from the customers. If so,
I’d again get hurt on reading them. It was only later did I realize that I was
taking it all too personally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Come to
think of it, we did everything right from our end as far as the T-shirt order
was concerned. The only mistake on our part was to trust the supplier and
approve the sample without the logo. That’s when I realized that things may go
horribly wrong, even if you do everything right from your end. You just have to
be prepared for it. For in Service industry, there’s no certainty. When things
can go wrong for a product like Maggi, it can for anything and anyone. That’s
why the whole Maggi ban episode amused me. I was observing how Nestle are
handling it and tried to relate it to our own experience with the shirts.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">10.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Never quit in the face of
adversity:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">During
the crisis phase, there were so many days when I felt like quitting the Store
and running away from it. But then, I resolved to stay on and face it all, come
what may. There would have been no bigger shame than to quit and run away in
that kind of adversity. If you brought this upon yourselves, then be brave
enough to stand up and face the consequences yourselves, than run away. The
whole shirt episode strengthened my nerves many fold and I developed a thick
skin.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">11.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Easy to criticize, tough to act:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We
are all arm-chair experts. Yes, we are. You, me, everyone. We find it easier to
criticize, but when <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>asked to act, very
few of us would come forward. Only when we come forward, would we realize the
truth in this statement. I realized it and learnt it the hard way. I know I’ve
needlessly criticized some in the past. But this Store experience changed my
outlook. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I realized how it is easy to
talk, but a lot difficult to act. I’ve almost stopped criticizing anything
after this experience. If I don’t like it, I simply ignore it, rather than criticize
it; unless it really warrants that criticism. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The same was realized by a couple of friends
who once wrote a venomous mail to the MStore. An assignment they took up later,
changed their outlook. Having said this, I do believe that criticism is
necessary. You won’t improve otherwise. But the criticism has to be
constructive in nature. And you should be judicious enough to decide which ones
to take seriously and which ones to ignore.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">There may be numerous other
learnings, but these are the ones that came to my mind right now. I read
somewhere that success has many fathers, but failure is an orphan. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To draw a parallel, the glory of success is
short-lived, while the scar of a failure, lingers. </span>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">There are so many
success stories to talk about in my Kashipur life. But all that taught me so
little. This one small seemingly-failed-episode taught me so much that I’ll
cherish the learnings from this experience. I am calling it a seemingly-failed-episode
‘cause none of us would term it a failure. The Store may have failed to match
up to our lofty expectations during our tenure, but we have put up a structure
in place, that we are sure, would succeed. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">There you go! I’ve shared
all that came to my mind. Like I said, I promised that I’ll write about the
whole episode. I was contemplating a case study, but then Harvard case studies
require some drama and I’m hardly in a mood to build a fictitious drama around
this episode. Hence this post here.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I’d be doing disservice
to this post if I failed to mention the team that I was talking about. Nikhil
Dudhe, Vineet Chauhan, Pavansivakumar Nalla, Harish V, Barnali Roy, Swami Sachidanand,
Nikhil Kumar, Deba Pratim Sinha and Sherry Singh, along with yours truly. The
MStore would have shut but for the efforts put in by these people, at different
points of time –be it small or large.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
should also mention the founding members of the Store – Lakshya Sharma,
Shashank Kumar, Shashank Jareth, Saurabh Bhise and Arun Kandikonda – our eminent
seniors from the Marketing Club. The Store was their vision and we’ll remember
it always. I also take this opportunity to thank all the well-wishers of the
Store from different batches and some of the Faculty members who stood by us
and encouraged us , especially Prof. Dwarika Uniyal and Prof. Rajat Sharma. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Here’s to the
prosperity of the Store in the days to come! Cheers!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">-Ashwin Murali</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">PS:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>MStore was started as a not-for-profit
initiative. We reverted to a traditional business model when we found out that
it is difficult to sustain that way. But even then, our bottomline is negative
as it stands. It will take some time for this to change.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">PPS:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">
I may have learnt so many courses during MBA, but nothing taught me more about running
a business than this experience with the MStore. And I’m immensely proud of
that. I’ve shared some of my humble lessons with you here. I may be wrong about
some of my learnings, but I’m happy that I’ve had the chance to make my own
mistakes and learn from it. Just like the rest of us!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Ashmurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07492523564262055217noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1411284539406341094.post-76654409886809444092015-03-10T20:22:00.002+05:302015-03-10T20:22:48.390+05:30The mysterious phone call<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 26.25pt center 3.25in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">It was about 7 PM in
the evening. I was sitting in my room, deep in thought, when the phone rang.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">An unknown number.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Who would it be?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I picked up.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Me:</b> Hello!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The other person (Let’s
call it ‘Op’ in short):</b> Hello! Am I talking to Mr. Ashmur?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A girl voice! Strange
‘cause very few people, that too only my close friends, call me that. Who is
this then?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Me:</b> Yes. Tell me!
Who’s this?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Op:</b> Never mind
who I am. I wanted to talk to you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Me:</b> Sorry? Talk
to me? About what? And why should I talk to someone who I do not know?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I felt strange. A
sweet girl voice. An unknown number. Not revealing their identity. Must be some
friend of mine who’s playing with me.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Op:</b> About
something important. Please listen to me. And if it’s important, my name is
Lavanya.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Lavanya? I only know
of 2 Lavanyas and I could confidently say that it was neither.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Me:</b> Lavanya?
Which Lavanya? Stop playing with me. Tell me who is this and what do you want?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Op:</b> I told you.
My name is Lavanya. I know you from your blog. I follow it. And I do know
things about you that no one else would know.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">That’s strange!</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Me</b>: Like what?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Op:</b> Like you just
watched the Nirbhaya documentary ‘India’s Daughter’ and you are disturbed
because of that – especially the graphic reconstruction of the horrific event.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I was taken aback. How
did she know that? Did I write about it somewhere? Oh yeah, I tweeted about it.
Must be following me on Twitter too. But I don’t recollect any Lavanya
following me on Twitter. And how did she get my number? By now, I was convinced
that it was a friend who was trying to play a prank on me.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Me:</b> You must be
following me on Twitter. But tell me, who are you? Who gave you my number? Stop
playing with me. I don’t have time for this. I am cutting the call if you don’t
reveal your identity.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Op:</b> Stop! No. Don’t
cut the call. I’m serious. I’m not any prankster. You do not know me, but I
know you. Beyond Twitter & blog too. I know you because I have seen you. I’m
a journalist. But that’s what the world thinks I do. I moonlight for the
intelligence bureau. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Me:</b> What? Enough
of this kidding. Tell me who this is. Or I’m cutting the call now.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Op:</b> I know you
won’t believe me. I’ll tell you something about you that no one else in this
world would know. You’d probably believe me then. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">She told me. I was
stunned.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Op:</b> Hope you
believe me now. Just listen to me. The reason I picked you to make this call is
because I felt that you are the most responsible of the 3 persons I had in my
list. Now, I want you to do as I say.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">By now, I was numb. Is
it for real? What’s happening? Whatever she told me, stunned me to say the
least. How could she know? Like she said, no one in the world knows.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Me:</b> I dunno what
to say. Please tell me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Op:</b> I am
recording this conversation. I’ll send you the audio file once we end this
call. I’ll send it via mail. You are to write about this phone call in your
blog within the next 3 days. Please quote me verbatim in the conversation. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Me:</b> What purpose
will that serve? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Op:</b> It holds a
cryptic message to what we are doing. I’m involved in an assignment with the
IB. We are tracking down some cyber attacks. In that fight, we post such
messages in some random blogs. That’s all I can say for now. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Me:</b> What you say
is scary! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if you are just lying?
What if I’m being used as a pawn here? What if you don’t belong to the IB but
some terror network?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Op:</b> Even if that
were the case, do you have a choice?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Now, that was really frightening.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Me:</b> What do you
mean?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Op:</b> I mean to say
that you’ll write it anyway, irrespective of whether you believe me or not.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Me:</b> What?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Op:</b> Yes, you
will. Open your mail now. Your personal mail, not your institute id. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I hurriedly opened my
mail in my laptop, while the call was still on. There was a mail from someone
called Lavanya. I opened it. </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Hi Ashmur,</i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">It was nice talking to you on the phone. PFA the audio file recording
of the call.</i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Regards,</i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Lavanya</i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">And there was an audio
file attached.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I was a little
shocked. I got back to the call. </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Me:</b> Hello?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Op:</b> Got the mail?
Fine! Let me assure you that there’s nothing for you to worry. This is a
routine intelligence exercise. Just write the blog post and that’s all. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Me:</b> O...O...
Okay!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Op:</b> Now Ashmur,
enough of my business. Let’s talk something else. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Me:</b> Wh...What?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Op:</b> A word of
advice. Do not worry about the days ahead! I know you are evaluating 3 choices
in your mind. Go for the second one. That’s the best for you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Me:</b> WHAT? HOW DO
YOU KNOW ABOUT THE CHOICES?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Op:</b> I told you I
know more about you than probably you yourself do. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Me:</b> But... But
this?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Op:</b> Ha ha ha!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">She laughed loudly</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Op:</b> Don’t worry
about it! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All your info is safe with the
IB. Now, I’ll end the call. Don’t try to trace the number for you won’t find
such number anywhere in the world! We use a cryptic app for calling. Also, you
won’t find the mail id anywhere. So do not worry about it! Plus the mail will
self-destroy itself in an hour. So download the audio file before that! Do not
try to take any screenshot of the mail! It won’t work. We have fed a worm into
your system that will disable the action. Again, do not worry! The worm will
kill itself once the mail destroys itself. And that’s not all. The worm will
destroy the audio file and all traces of it too.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Me:</b> A well laid
out plan?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Op:</b> Ofcourse! It’s
time for me to go. Just listen to the audio soon and blog about this whole
conversation within 3 days. Your job is done. We won’t bother you again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Me:</b> But there’s
hardly anything in this conversation that sounds secretive. It’s as plain as
anything else.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Op:</b> Well, that’s
the beauty of it. It appears plain to everyone. But not to cryptologists like
us. Just do what I say.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Me:</b> O…O… Okay! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Op:</b> Fine then!
Nice talking to you, Ashmur! Looking forward to your blog. Keep writing! Bye!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">With that she cut the
call. It took me 5 minutes to regain my senses. </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I opened the mail
again and checked the id. It said Lavanya <<a href="mailto:no-name@nomail.com">no-name@nomail.com</a>></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I tried to take a
screen shot. It was not functioning. My snipping tool was also not functioning.
I took my phone and tried to take a pic. All that came in the pic were some blurred
lines. Looks like the worm had taken care of this too. The screen resonance was
at its highest, that hardly anything was visible in the phone cam. I downloaded
the audio file and listened to it. It was for 7 mins. Once I was done
listening, the ‘blue screen of death’ appeared and the system restarted. </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">When I logged in
again, the saved audio file was not to be seen. The mail was also gone and no
trace of it remained. I checked my phone. The number was also not to be seen in
the call records.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What kind of sorcery
is this?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I went to sleep
thinking about it. </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">When I woke up the next
morning, I once again checked everywhere. No traces were to be found. Was this
all a nightmare? </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Must be! I forgot
about it for two days and carried on normally until today afternoon when I got
a message from an unknown number.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Hi Ashmur, hope you are posting that blog. Today is the third day.
Wanted to remind you. By the way, your phone will restart in another 30
seconds.</i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">As soon as I closed
the message, the phone mysteriously restarted. When it started again, the
message was not to be seen. </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I was now convinced
that I had to write the blog. And hence this post.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Ashmur</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
PS: Lavanya, here's your post. I know that can't be your name. But, I've kept my promise. So don't bother me again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
PPS: Truth is stranger than fiction.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
PPPS: Nothing stops you from thinking that this is just a fiction. I'd love to think so too. But what if it's real? </div>
</div>
Ashmurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07492523564262055217noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1411284539406341094.post-27512714518251114152014-10-04T01:53:00.000+05:302014-10-04T10:37:49.356+05:30Gaga Chronicles Part 4: Fight for love – the (anti) climax<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">This is Part 4 of the story 'Gaga Chronicles'. To read Part 1, click <a href="http://ashwinmurali.blogspot.in/2014/04/gaga-chronicles-part-1-friendship.html">here</a>. </span></i><i><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">To read Part 2, click <a href="http://ashwinmurali.blogspot.in/2014/04/gaga-chronicles-part-2-happiness.html">here.</a> </span></i><i><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">To read Part 3, click <a href="http://ashwinmurali.blogspot.in/2014/10/gaga-chronicles-part-3-love-lost.html">here</a>.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> </span></i><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Disclaimer:</b> This
is a work of pure fiction. All the characters and the sequences are a figment
of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to any person dead or alive is
purely coincidental.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">November 11<sup>th</sup>, 2011:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I did not call her after the
anniversary. I was frustrated that a day that I considered very important was
insignificant to her. She did not even remember it. I wanted to message her
something that very night, but refrained from doing so knowing that I was
angry. The last time I did something like that, a big fight ensued between us.
Thankfully, I was able to resist myself this time around. The following week, I
decided that I would not message her or talk to her. If she wants, let her talk
to me or message me. I am not going to initiate anything.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I actually felt good that week.
It was like the ball was in my court now and that I was holding the aces by
ignoring her. She did message me two times in Whatsapp that week. I did not
respond. It felt great to be doing something to her that which she normally
does to me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I was sitting in my room that
night when at 11 PM, I got a mail from her. I was skeptical as to what it’d
contain. It seemed like a long letter. I was in two minds whether to read it or
not. But you can’t resist a letter from your girlfriend, you see. I opened and
read it. She had written in detail about how her life at IIM B has been so far.
She had written about certain things in detail that which we haven’t spoken of
during those calls. Strangely enough, there was no mention of her best ‘buddy’
in IIM B who I considered to be my villain now. However, reading that letter
gave me a sense of satisfaction and relief for she had taken the pains to write
such a detailed letter. Also, her tone was very sweet in that letter and it
only added to my joy. I wanted to thank her for the letter with a detailed
reply of my own, but I could not find the right words. So I just replied ‘I
love you’ to her, not expecting any reply. Surprisingly, she replied saying “Me
too”. That totally made my day, for she only replies “Thanks” whenever I say ‘I
love you’ to her. I felt overjoyed and slept very peacefully after a long time
that day.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">November 17<sup>th</sup>, 2011:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The week after that letter, we
messaged each other frequently and I felt things were back to how they were, a
year back. I was happy all week. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
On my birthday, she called me at
midnight to wish me. I was thrilled and thanked her. Ashwin, Ananya &
Sahana made me cut a cake they had got for me. I told Gaga about it when we
spoke and surprisingly, she asked me to send the pics. I was elated. Since
Sahana had taken the pics, I asked her to send the pics to Gayu and gave her
Gayu’s id. That afternoon, I got a courier. It was a gift from Gayu. She had
got me a beautiful woolen jacket to be used in the upcoming winter. I simply
loved it and was floored by the gift. I immediately called her to thank her.
But her tone was completely different now. She sounded as though she was angry
with me. I didn’t know why. I just thanked her and ended the call. I could not
guess the reason for her anger and I decided to forget it thinking that it must
be because of some work pressure or some impending deadline. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The next morning, she did not
reply when I messaged her something. From her whatsapp header, I could clearly
see that she had come online after my message, but did not bother to reply. I
thought about the events of yesterday to try and find out as to what could be
the reason for her anger and if I had done something that angered her. Then I
remembered that she asked me for the pics. I called Sahana to check if she had
mailed Gayu the pics. She answered in the affirmative. So, I asked her to
forward that same mail to me. I got the mail and I went through the pics.
That’s when it struck me. One of the pics had just Ananya and me and she was
feeding me a slice of cake. The pic looked really good and Ananya looked
gorgeous in that pic. Any third person who sees that pic would mistake us for a
couple. I realized that Gaga would have gotten angry on seeing the pic. So I
called her again in the evening. She did not pick up. I called her twice that
night but again got no response. I called her again and this time she picked
up. She sounded irritated.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Gaga, why are you avoiding my
calls? I really liked the jacket. Thanks a ton! So thoughtful of you!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Fine. What do you want now?” I
am not in a mood to talk to you. I don’t want to talk to you.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Why? What’s wrong? I hope I have
not done something to anger you?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Really? Think about it. I take
the pains to call you and wish you in the dead of the night. I order a gift for
you to surprise you. But you? You are happily spending time with that stupid
girl there, forgetting all about me.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Oh, so that’s what it is! Just as
I had suspected.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I spent the next 15 minutes
convincing her that Ananya was only a friend and there was nothing between us
and that Gaga was the only person who dominated my thoughts. In between, she
hurled a couple of mild abuses at Ananya. It’s funny how girls behave in the
face of such competition. It amused me as to how a soft-spoken girl like Gaga
could get all worked up about another girl who she suspected of trying to usurp
me from her. It’s always a good situation to be in when a girl fights for your
love and attention and becomes possessive. But then, I thought about how I felt
the same way about Kaushik. I then felt a little ashamed of myself and
apologized to Gaga for giving way to suspicions. I assured her that Ananya was
only a friend and promised to keep a distance. I had half a mind to tell her
the same thing about Kaushik, but you can’t, you see. I knew that if I said
something about Kaushik, she’d accuse me of suspecting her and would cry and
the fight would prolong. So I did not mention Kaushik, despite her hurling so
many accusations at me and Ananya. Double standards, some may call it. But
that’s how long distance relationships work! It requires a lot a compromises
and sacrifices and more often than not, it’s the boy who has to give in.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">November 27<sup>th</sup>, 2011:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Since the call, we were messaging
each other in whatsapp and I thought that things were fine even though we did
not speak to each other. That morning, she messaged me that she was going on a
trip to Coorg, a hill station nearby, with her friends. I wanted to ask her as
to who were the friends, but refrained from doing so. I just wished her a happy
journey. I felt slightly disturbed that day. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I met Ashwin and the girls that
evening. Over the past one month or so, I could sense that Ananya was
increasingly getting closer to me. She sat by my side in class every day and
she often visited me in my room even when the other two weren’t present. I was
not sure as to what she had in her mind, but to honour the promise I made to
Gaga, I made it a point to tell her something or the other about Gaga every
day, just to put her off. But she seemed to like those stories a lot and was
tacitly asking me to tell more about Gaga. I felt strange about this. I thought
my talks about Gaga would put her off, but it only made her become more
interested in me and these stories. Girls are strange, you see. You can never
understand them. Never. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
That evening, while talking, I
told them about how Gayu is going on a trip with her friends. Everyone gave a
collective “Wowwww!” Ashwin then told me how a trip to the hill station is the
best avenue to kindly your romantic interests and he recounted a story about
how a love story between two of his former colleagues clicked after they went
on an office picnic to a hill station. This totally irked me. Idiot! Why did he
have to tell me this now?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Two days later:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Gayu messaged me saying that the
trip was awesome and that she had a whale of a time with her friends. She told
me that her ‘friend’ had uploaded the pics and asked me to check them out by
visiting his profile. I was irked. I wasted no time and logged on to FB. I saw
about 25 pics and she was with that loafer Kaushik in about 20 of them. They
were alone in about 10 pics. Just the two of them. Posing in front of the
scenic beauty of the hills like a couple. Reading the comments below the pics
only heightened my disappointment and anger. The comments ranged from ‘the next
pair in the making’ and some winking smileys to ‘love is in the air’ and ‘made
for each other’. That was the last nail in the coffin. I was hugely
disappointed. I skipped classes that day. Was she taking revenge on me for that
Ananya pic? If that were true, it was very childish of her, I thought. I could
not contain my disappointment. Here she was advising and extracting a promise
from me only 10 days back, and now she’s doing the same. I tried to calm myself
down saying that she only posed with him as a friend as she was not holding him
in any of the pics and it was just the crowd that had taken to all the teasing
in the comments. Still, it was very very difficult for me. Unable to contain
myself, I called her. She did not pick. I decided to let it rest and go to
sleep. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Seeing me not present in class,
Ananya came calling to my room in the afternoon. I was trying to sleep, but
couldn’t. I opened the door for her. She came in. Seeing me dull, she asked me
what the matter was. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I was longing to pour my angst at
someone and wasted no time in telling her all that had happened. Ananya asked
me to come out with her and she took me out for lunch. She got me lunch and
consoled me that it was all going to be alright and asked me not to think about
it. I felt better after lunch and we returned to my room. There she told me
that it’s time that I stopped bothering myself too much about Gaga.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Akshay, you are letting yourself
down because of her. You should stop worrying too much about her and start
concentrating on yourself. Look at you! You are everything that a girl would
dream of! You’re such a nice person. You are capable of so many things. Yet,
you keep wasting your time on her while she doesn’t seem to care. You got to
be doing many more things Akshay. You’re a brilliant quizzer and you write well
too. You got to go out and start concentrating on those things. Go, do the
things you like. Give it some time and give it a rest. Things will slowly fall
in place.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
God! She was beautiful! Not for
nothing had the boys named her the most beautiful girl in the campus and it’s
not without a reason were they all jealous of me because of my closeness to
her.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I just sat there and kept looking
into her eyes. Her words were like a soothing balm for my injured heart. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
She clasped my hands in hers and
looked at me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“You deserve better Akshay!” she
said and she came forward and hugged me. I did not resist. I hugged her back.
This time around, she lent me the shoulder that I needed to cry on and drown my
sorrows. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Boys are emotionally gullible
too! You just need to put the right words. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
When my senses returned after
nearly a full minute, I broke free from her hug and thanked her. I told her
that I felt much better now and it is best that she leaves now as I wanted to
spend some time alone. She did not protest and she calmly left with a “Take
care Akshay!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">December 15<sup>th</sup>, 2011:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I did not talk to Gaga since that
day. It had been two weeks and we had our exams too. When she messaged me
something in whatsapp, I replied with a one word answer – ‘Exams’. With that
she did not message me further. With Ananya too, normalcy returned. It’s to her
credit, she did not talk about anything that happened that day and we focused
on our Term 2 exams. Post the exams, we did not have any holidays then as our
holidays were scheduled for the Christmas- New Year weekend. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
We had our Summer Placements
scheduled in between. The week after the exams was spent on that. I felt that I
wanted an Operations/Supply Chain profile as that was what I felt comfortable
in. So I applied for Amazon and managed to land a Summer Internship Offer with
them. They told me that my project would be in Delhi and I had no problems with
that. The other three too landed good offers. We felt happy that week. I informed
Gayu in Whatsapp about it. She congratulated me and told me that she had landed
an internship with HUL about a month back. This kinda irked me for she did not
feel the need to tell me this while I informed her about mine the very day. I registered
my protest. She told me that she forgot all about it and that she was sorry. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I still felt irritated that she chose not to
tell me about what was supposedly the biggest news for any B School student in
the first year. Disappointed as I was, I decided to let it rest. I realized
that the lesser I cared, the better I felt. You get hurt only when you care and
when you expect. Without care and expectations, there won’t be any hurt. But,
it was easier said than done for my mind kept thinking about her every day. I
had to fight a battle every day to keep it under control.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">New Year 2012:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The four of us had come on a trip
to Darjeeling. The idea was to witness snow for the first time in our lives and
we did. Though it was a memorable trip, I could not take Gaga off my mind. I
kept thinking of her every now and then. I had messaged her about the trip and
she just did not respond. I realized that her exams might be going on. Still,
it irked me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Ananya stayed close to my side
throughout the trip. Though I liked her presence, I felt that I should not
provide fodder for her feelings, which was kinda very apparent now. On New
Year’s Eve, when we all wished each other, Ananya openly hugged me in the
presence of the other two. I did not return the hug and felt embarrassed. That
afternoon, I got a message from Gayu wishing me a Happy New Year. I just
replied with a one word ‘Thanks’. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt
distraught when my mind raced back to New Year 2010. I hated Gayu back then.
Now again, I hated her and was angry with her. But the only difference was that,
now my hate sprung from a deep love within. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Ashwin and Sahana realized what
was going on in Ananya’s mind and spoke to me about it. I was honest with them
and told them all that had happened. Sahana warned me that I was treading on a
dangerous path and that it could all get so complicated if I did not make it
clear to Ananya, as she might be harbouring false hopes. I realized the truth
in her words and decided to talk to Ananya about it very soon.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The next day, we returned to
Ahmedabad. Once I was back in my room, I decided to message Gaga. I messaged
her asking if she remembers me. She replied saying as to how could she forget
me. She then told me about a quiz that she witnessed at her institute the
previous day and she told me that had I been there, I’d have simply aced it.
She knew me well and she knew exactly what she should say to make me calm down.
She played her cards well with the talk about the quiz. I could not get angry
at her after that for sure. We exchanged messages for about 30 mins, when I
felt the need to talk to her. So, I called her and she picked up. I told her
about the Darjeeling trip and told her that I had got a rare key chain for her.
She thanked me. Surprisingly, she even took the fact that Ananya was there with
me on the trip, well. When everything was going well, all of a sudden, she told
me that she found some boys in her batch to be really cute and were the perfect
gentlemen that she had always dreamt of. I felt taken aback but tried to sound
casual by teasing her about it and asking her not to forget me. She replied
with a “Let’s see” and ended the call with a “Good Night”. Whether she said
that just to irk me in response to Ananya accompanying me on the trip or
whether she had other intentions behind saying it, I did not know. But it
surely spoilt the remainder of that day for me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">January 14<sup>th</sup>, 2012:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
It was Sankaranthi/Pongal. The
four of us celebrated Pongal at a function that had been organized by a local
cultural association. The past ten days were not the best for me as Gaga’s
words kept troubling me. “There are some very interesting guys here Akshay.
Real gentlemen. The sort I always dreamt of.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Was it an indication for me to
back off and break away? Was she discretely telling me that it was time I
forget her and moved on? I really did not know and my mind was troubled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sent her messages everyday but hardly got
any replies. The bubble was finally burst on the day of Pongal. I sent a
message wishing her and pleaded with her to reply. I don’t know if I ever caved
in so much in my life before. She replied with the following message:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Happy Pongal Akshay! I want to tell you something. Why do you keep
sending me so many messages? I think it’s high time you realize that we give
ourselves a break. I am not suggesting anything radical right now, but I feel
that we need to take some time off each other to see where things are headed,
for I honestly don’t think it’s working in the present way. Plus, seeing all
the wonderful guys here, my mind does get swayed at times and I am beginning to
wonder if I acted in haste, with respect to you. We’ll still keep in touch, but
let’s understand our differences and realize where we are. Hope you take this
in the right sense. Wishing you the best always!</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Regards,</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Gaga</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
That’s when it hit me hard. Is
this a break-up? Or is she suggesting that we take a break? I was reminded of
Ross Geller’s ‘We were on a break!’ from FRIENDS. I simply felt numb that day
and I went to sleep. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The next day:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The next day, Ananya came to my
room. Before I could tell her anything, she spoke.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Akshay, I want to tell you
something. You probably know this already, but it’s high time I say it. I love
you Akshay! Yes, I do. Not today, not yesterday, but ever since the day we
first met, I liked you. I was disappointed when I learnt that you had a
girlfriend. But soon after, I just kept liking you. The help you rendered while
I was sick, made me fall for you totally. I know this could be very complicated
given your situation with Gayu, but then, like I said, you deserve better
Akshay. You need to be happy and I don’t see you happy. Nearly 50 guys had
proposed to me in my life so far. But this is the first time, I am proposing to
someone. And you’re the one. So I request you to consider my proposal and
accept it.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
She finished it all in a single
breath. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I didn’t know how to react. They
say when one door closes, another opens. Was this the opportunity that God has
provided me with? But then, I closed my eyes and thought for 2 full minutes and
replied.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Ananya, thank you so much for
that! You are such a sweet girl. You deserve to be loved. Purely. With all the
heart. That is something that I cannot provide you with. My mind is
pre-occupied with thoughts about Gaga. Even if we break-up completely, I don’t
think that I can take her off my mind completely. That’s the beauty of one’s
first love. You’re a wonderful girl and you deserve total love. I can’t give
you that and I am not ready for that. Atleast yet. Even now, I think back and
take inspiration from the words you had spoken to me. So let us just be the
good friends that we are. We’ll see where it goes. Hope you understand.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I did not feel ashamed to
blatantly copy a dialogue from a Tamil film called VTV and use it in a real
life situation. But yeah, Gautam Menon, the director of the film, helped me at
that instance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Thank you Akshay! I totally
understand. I sorta expected the same answer from you. But couldn’t you have
been more original? Even I had watched VTV” she winked.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
We both had a hearty laugh. I
knew I did the right thing and I felt happy. That day, I pored over some of my
old conversations with Gaga on FB, Whatsapp and in the mails. I realized how
much I had changed because of her. Though I did not have a cause for complaint,
I felt that it was high time that I did the things I liked as was suggested by
Ananya. I should not obsess over Gaga and limit our conversations to a minimum.
This way, I won’t be affected much by her ignoring me or any fights that may
happen. I felt a fresh breath of energy once I decided those things within
myself.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The next 2 and a half months: </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The next 2 and half months, I
decided to concentrate on the things I was good at. I decided to participate in
many quiz competitions. I participated in all the contests that I could lay my
eyes on – both online and offline. I dragged Ashwin along in all those contests
and the girls came on to cheer us whenever time permitted. This way, we
participated in a huge number of competitions and managed to win prizes in a
significant number of them. I felt good about myself and felt very positive. During
this time, I never spoke to Gaga, but only messaged her a few times. On all
occasions, she promptly replied and it felt good. I realized that this was the
person that I wanted to be and not the one who pleads for Gaga’s replies and
gets disturbed by needless thoughts about her. This way, Term 3 ended very well
and it was time for our Summer Internships. Strangely enough, I learnt that
Gaga was also given a project in Delhi. I didn’t know how to react, but I
realized that this presented me with an opportunity to patch up things with
her. Feeling good, I took off to Delhi on March 31<sup>st</sup>, 2012.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">April – May, 2012:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Summer Internships in Delhi. I
stayed in IIT Delhi campus during these two months while Gaga was given an accommodation
in HUL Guest House. The presence of Ashwin and the two girls had helped me a
lot in overcoming thoughts about Gaga over the past two months. But now that
they weren’t around and I was all alone, the thoughts about her came rushing
back. I slipped back to my old ways and started messaging her daily. She
replied, but not on a consistent basis. She was busy with her project, while my
project was comparatively light. I asked her if we could meet some time. She
agreed and we met for dinner one night at Connaught Place. But strangely enough,
the dinner felt very uncomfortable as I felt that something was missing. The
old feeling of proximity was certainly missing and I felt a little awkward. She
felt comfortable enough and she kept talking to me about the people at her
workplace and those at IIM B. I did not feel like returning the conversation
and just kept listening. Once it was done, I paid the bill and bid her goodbye. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I felt like a complete fool that
night. I messaged her that night about how she had changed and that she did not
feel like the old Gaga that I knew. As an afterthought, I added that I liked
the new Gaga equally well. She replied with a ‘Thanks’ and a smiley. I wanted
to meet her again but realized that it was going to be difficult as her project
involved a lot of travelling. So I kept bombarding her with messages whenever
her thought occurred to me. Here again, I did not realize that I was blowing a
bubble that was about to burst. Soon enough, it burst. She once again sent a
mail to me which more or less resembled the content of her previous such mail.
Only change was that she was more critical of me this time around and her words
were more stinging with lots of venom. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I felt devastated on reading that
mail. I felt gutted. I had never known more sadness in my life than what I felt
that day. Even a break-up would have been easier to take, but this pained me to
the core. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had a couple of friends in
IIT Delhi, but I knew exactly what their suggestion would be in such times:
Alcohol. Alcohol is never a solution. It only complicates the problem at the
cost of your health. So I called the only person who came to my mind who’d help
me out at this time without suggesting alcohol as a solution. I called Ashwin.
The good friend that he is, he immediately came down to Delhi the next day from
Jaipur, where he was based for his project. He told me the same things as
Ananya did six months back. He then took me out for a quiz that was being
organized by the local Qutub Quiz Club. Quiz is probably the best distraction
for a distraught mind. Atleast for me, it was. I felt much better after the
quiz and we managed to finish third in the quiz. The previous day was the
lowest I had ever been. I had never sought out someone like this to help me
ever before. That’s when I decided to give it all a rest and carry on with my
life. I resolved that I’d never call or message Gaga again and would only
respond if she messaged or called. I had made similar resolutions in the past,
only to break them soon. But this time, something told me that I was going to
stick with it and not break it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The Second Year: </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I finished my project and came
home to Coimbatore for a week. Every place I went in Coimbatore reminded me of
her in one way or the other. The bout of nostalgia was overwhelming me. Yet, I
somehow fought off the urge to call her or message her. I left for Ahmedabad at
the end of the week. I felt that I was stronger in my resolve this time around
and that I was not going to cave in. At the end of June, she sent me a message
saying that she was in Coimbatore and that her project went well and that she
might get an offer from the company. She then asked me how I was and how my
project went. I replied with two words – “All fine”. With that she did not
message me again for the next 10 days. And I did not feel the need to message
her. Despite this avoidance, I was following her updates regularly on the
social media. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
On July 10<sup>th</sup>, 2012,
she messaged to a group in whatsapp that we were a part of, that she had got an
offer from HUL and that she was accepting it. Though I felt happy for her, I
did not like that she had to inform that in a group. That’s the most impersonal
way of conveying news. I’d have heartily congratulated her had she messaged me
personally. But this time, I just ignored as if I had not noticed it, while the
others in the group congratulated her. I got my offer too from Amazon, but I
did not feel like telling her. So I just left it. Once again, I decided to
concentrate on my interests and I started participating in quizzes again. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The month of August saw a twist
as she messaged me. I replied in one or two words like usual. Realizing that
she had hurt me a lot, she messaged me apologies. The tables were turned!
Though I ignored a couple of them, I could not ignore the third message. This
is the weakness with guys. They cannot say no to a girl. Especially if the girl
pleads for something, no guy would say no to her. I was no different. I broke
my resolution and messaged her saying that I accept her apology and that she
need not worry and that everything was fine. She was overjoyed on seeing that
and told me that she felt relieved now. The games men and women play, you see. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Since then, it was kinda smooth
sailing with her. We never spoke too much nor did we message a lot. I
maintained a distance, not knowing if the relationship was still alive. All I
knew was that she wasn’t my enemy now and I just liked the way things were
without the need to prod her for a commitment that was non-existent in the
first place, and that she was unwilling to give. Every now and then, I did see
pics of her on Facebook and Kaushik did feature in a lot of them. I decided not
to let it affect me. If Kaushik was the person she wanted in her life, so be
it. Let me just fade away from her life like I already have. My only concern
was that she deserved a good guy, even if it was not me. I felt proud of the
way I had matured over the past few months to even come up with a thought like
this.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
With Ananya too, it was all fine
as she realized how she acted when she was emotionally down. She thanked me
profusely saying that I could have easily taken advantage of her emotional
state of mind, but I did not. She complimented me saying that I acted like a
real gentleman and that she was proud of me. She repeated the old dialogue
saying that I deserved the best, whoever it may be. I felt good and the four of
us were back to being the best buddies that we always were.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
On the other hand, Gaga started
messaging me very frequently. Perhaps, she was missing me! Or was she? I did not
care for if she really wanted something with me, she’d talk to me. I was tired
of being the initiator and getting hurt in the process. But I liked that she
was giving me the attention that was absent over the past year. I did not wish
to press it lest I spoil it. So, I let it be, as it was. Soon enough, 2012 came
to an end and 5 trimesters were done. We were all in the final trimester and
it’ll all be over in another 2 months. Placements happened and since I already
got the offer from Amazon, I was pretty relaxed. The other 3 got placed well
too and we celebrated the New Year in the campus with much grandeur. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
One gloomy winter morning in
January 2013, I woke up with a start. I just had a nightmare. In that dream,
Gaga was marrying some guy. I could not remember the face of the guy, but it
certainly wasn’t me. That’s when the truth dawned on me that she could be
married this year. Oh God! All along, I had only imagined her wedding with me,
but now there was a strong possibility of that not happening and she marrying
some other guy. Once again, my mind felt disturbed. How many times the mind
gets disturbed this way when you are in love, I tell you! Never fall in love if
you’re not prepared to handle these disturbances. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I called Gaga. Surprisingly, she
picked up. Excitedly she asked me where I got placed. That’s when I realized
that I had not told her about the offer from Amazon. So I told her as though I had
got the offer only recently. She was overjoyed for me. It felt like the day we
spoke of our CAT scores. I felt happy and asked her what her plans were in the
coming days. She told me that her course would end in a month, just like mine,
and that she had two months time to kill at home before HUL called her for
joining. I wanted to ask her what after that, but stopped short for I was not
prepared for an answer that I did not want to hear. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Soon enough, our courses were
done and we all graduated. The Convocation Ceremony was an emotional one for
the four of us as we became so close to each other. Our parents had come and
they were proud of their wards. At the end of the day, we took a break and hung
out in the campus. Just the four of us. One last time. We hugged each other and
bade our goodbyes. We resolved that we’ll surely be in touch. Ofcourse, we’d
be. But it won’t be the same. For one last time, they asked me about Gaga. I
told them that by now, I was clear headed and am open to anything. I had also
informed my parents that things did not quite work out well with her as I had
thought it would. I also told them that there’s still a possibility of the two
of us working things out, but the hopes were slim. They consoled me saying that
whatever happens, happens for the best. Parents are your biggest source of
strength. Never let them down.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">After IIM:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The month following the
convocation, I roamed around from place to place exploring new locales, meeting
people, meeting friends and relatives, and spending time with myself. I felt
refreshed and energized. It was time to join Amazon. They had asked me to
report in Mumbai, while Gaga was joining HUL in Bangalore. We kept messaging on
and off, but nothing concrete was happening at either end. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
On May 3<sup>rd</sup>, 2013, I
got a call from her. I was in office. She told me that she wanted to talk to
me. I told her that she could call me in the evening. At 9 PM that night, I got
a call from her. She sounded anxious and a little disturbed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“What’s it Gayu? What’s the
matter?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Akshay, my parents have started
talking about my marriage” she said in a shaky voice.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“So?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Akshay, do you understand? They
want me to get married soon.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“So what Gayu? It’s about time,
isn’t it? What’s the problem?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Idiot! Do you realize what I am
talking here? Are you ready for it?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Me? Why should I be ready for
it?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Akshay!! Stop kidding! I am
serious! What about us Akshay? Us?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Oh, there’s ‘us’ is it? So you
want to marry me do you? That’s a surprise!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“AKSHAY!” she shouted. “Why are
you doing this to me?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Why am I doing what Gayu? You
were the one who asked for a break. You were the one who kept ignoring my
calls. You were the one who did not reply to my messages. You were the one who
spoke of acting in haste. You were the one who spoke of nice gentlemen at your
institute. You were the one who did not share any good news with me. And now
you want things to be as normal as they were? What am I supposed to do in this
case Gayu? Tell me. Hurt Gayu. Hurt. I’ve been hurt enough. I am not sure if I want
to go through that again.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“O Akshay… please… this is not
the time. I know I had not been very kind to you. But it was all because of the
work pressure Akshay. You’re also from an IIM. You’d understand, don’t you? The
work pressure drained me out emotionally. I was not able to handle it all well.
I did not know where to take it all out. So I took it out on you. I vented my
anger on you from time to time. You were my pillow. You were my punching bag. I
knew you’d take it for me. I thought our relationship could take it all. I
thought you’d understand Akshay. I did not want to divulge all this for I felt
that you knew me and you’d understand. I am really sorry Akshay. I am really
sorry.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
By now, she started crying. But I
was not going to cave in. Would I?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Gayu, but I thought you had your
best buddies for all that. That loafer Kaushik and what was the other guy’s
name? Oh yeah… Aditya. Why do you need me when you have them? They can be your
punching bag. Spare me the trouble.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Hearing that, she composed
herself. “So is this what it’s all about? You suspect me? Fine! If you don’t
want to<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>marry me, I don’t care. I can
marry one of them or many others who proposed to me over the past 2 years. But
before I leave, just tell me this. Think for a moment, look deep within yourself
and tell me that you no longer love me. I’ll leave then.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
There was no need for thinking.
My mind was full of her. I was head over heels in love with her, despite all
that had happened over the past 2 years. Still, I thought for a moment. All
that it mattered to me was that I loved her. As much as I did on the day she
proposed to me or the day she said ‘I love you’ to me. Yet, I lied to her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“No Gayu. I don’t love you anymore.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
It’s all ego, you see. Ego is the
single most important factor in any relationship. My ego was very bloated now
and it’s not going to calm down any sooner. Initially, it was all her ego and I
was the one who was caving in and giving in. The moment my ego gained the
stronghold, it was not going to give in easily. Successful relationships are
the ones that negate the egos and overcome the part played by them. At some
point of time, one person or the other has to give in and make some minor
compromises and sacrifices. There are no perfect relationships. It’s all about
how you overcome your ego and let love rule. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
With that last sentence, she cut
the call. I felt bad, but did not cave in. Again ego, you see. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The next four months, I immersed
myself totally in work just to forget her. Yet it was an attempt in futility as
her thoughts kept coming to me all day. I did feel bad about talking that way
to her and wanted to call and apologize, but my ego did not allow me to. I do
have a bloated ego, atleast in relationships, you see. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Ashwin visited me during one of
these four months. He was working with BCG in Bangalore and he had some
assignment in Mumbai. He stayed with me for three days and that lifted my
spirits a bit. As was the habit, we went to a quiz that happened in the city
and managed to bag a prize. He asked me about Gaga and I told him that it was
all over. He asked me why and I told him all that had happened. He was mad at
me for what I did, but did not show it. He silently left after 3 days. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Back to the Present Day – October 28<sup>th</sup>, 2013:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I was totally gutted by the turn
of events. Yes, I was the one who was responsible for all that, yet in a corner
of my mind, I always had this feeling that Gayu would never leave. Now my mind
was blaming me. Well, you asked for it. Suffer now! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I suddenly felt the need to talk
to Gayu and pour everything out. Was it too late for that? Was she engaged? I
didn’t know. I opened the invitation and to my relief, found that the
engagement was scheduled to happen the next day evening and the wedding was in
a couple of days? Why so much hurry, I thought. But I did not bother. I
definitely need to talk to Gayu once, before the engagement positively. I
immediately booked the tickets for a flight early next morning and mailed a
leave letter to my boss, who was kind enough to grant me the same since I had
mentioned that it was an emergency.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I was reminded of the scene from
‘FRIENDS’ where Rachel rushes in the last minute to stop Ross’s wedding to
Emily. But of late, it was I who was acting like Ross, denying the feelings I
had for my Rachel.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">October 29<sup>th</sup>, 2013 – Bangalore:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
My flight was delayed by two
hours and it landed at Bangalore at 2 PM. I wasted no time and took a taxi
straight to the marriage hall, which was near Kormangala. I reached the
marriage hall by 4 PM. I searched the whole place for Gayu but could not find
her. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Just when I was about to walk
out, Ashwin walked in. What was he doing here? More surprise followed as the
girls – Ananya and Sahana walked in. What the hell is all this? How did they
know about this wedding? Had Gayu invited them too? They walked in unsurprised
on seeing me. Did they know that I was coming? How come?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
My mind was buzzing with all
these questions when Gayu walked in. She was elegantly dressed in a beautiful
saree. Boy, she looked beautiful! I could just stand there all day looking at
her. She walked up to me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Thanks for coming to the
ceremony Akshay! I knew you’d come. I hope you’re staying for the wedding too?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Gayu… Gayu… I need to talk to
you.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“About what?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Gayu… Gayu… I… I… I love you!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
At this, Ashwin and Gayu burst
out laughing while the girls fumed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“I told you…I told you that he
won’t read it. Now that’s a bet won. Get us our Rs.500” Ashwin said looking at
the girls and he hi-fived with Gayu. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
What was happening? I was perplexed!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Ananya angrily looked at me.
“Idiot! Can’t you even read what’s written in the notice board? Can’t you even
see the names written there? Idiot! You cost me 500 bucks and you owe me that.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I looked at the huge Notice Board
in the hall. In it was written in huge block letters “Kaushik weds Sharanya”.
Oh God! How did I miss that? I was perhaps too busy searching for Gayu that I
failed to notice it. So what does this mean? Gayu is not marrying Kaushik? Was
this all a set-up to bring me here? And did these three have a part to play in
it? I looked around. Gayu took out her tab and showed me a few pics. They were
pics from a notebook. No a diary. Oh wait! These were pics from my diary! How
come?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Here’s something about me that I
did not tell you. I have the habit of writing a diary. I update it every day
with some thoughts and events from that day. Over the past 2- 3 years, the
diary had nothing but my thoughts about Gaga. Every single day. So I named it
’Gaga Chronicles’. I wanted to show it to her and gift it to her some day.
Looks like it found its way pretty soon on its own. I wondered how, since none
of them knew that I had one such diary.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
That’s when Ashwin chipped in.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“When I came to Mumbai, I was
distraught on hearing your story. I felt that I should do something to patch
things up between you both. That’s when I saw that you were writing something
in a diary before you went to sleep. The next morning, I flicked the diary from
your cupboard without you noticing. I took it to office and went through a few pages.
I realized how much you loved Gaga and the folly of all that you were doing
because of your bloated ego. So I scanned the entire diary and brought it back
without you noticing. Once back in Bangalore, I called the girls and informed
them about all that you had done. We decided that we should send Gayu the
scanned copy, so that she’d get to know what’s in your mind. We sent her the
diary explaining how it’s all you ego that stood in the way of you both. She
read it and she sought our help to get you out of your shackles. That’s when
she informed us about this wedding of her friend Kaushik with his girlfriend. I
got an idea then and we planned this whole set-up.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“But what about the invitation?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“One invitation card from this
wedding and 30 mins of Photoshop work did the trick” Ashwin winked. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“So you all knew, when I sent you
the whatsapp message yesterday?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Ofcourse we knew!” they
chorused. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Not only that, we did not even
change the name of the girl’s parents in the invitation card. And you fell for
it.” Sahana laughed. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I opened the mail and found that
indeed the girl’s parents' names were different. Whatta fool I had been!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“We checked with your apartment
attendant this morning and he informed us that you were on your way to
Bangalore. We knew then that you had fallen for it. We had a bet that you
wouldn’t even notice the names on the Notice Board when you came in and we were
right” Ashwin said.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
They all laughed loudly. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
So it was all a well laid-out
plan! How did I fall for it? Such an idiot I had been!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I then looked at Gaga. She looked
at me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“So you love me, huh? Do you want
to marry me?” she asked me in a mocking voice. The tables were turned again.
The ball was in her court now.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Oh yes, Gayu! I do. I really do.
With all my heart. I have been such an idiot to deny that. You saw it for
yourself today” I said. “But wait!” I thought about my parents and her parents.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Reading my mind perfectly, she
said “Both our parents know. They have been informed. It’s your decision that
matters now.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Oh wow! I do want to marry you
Gayu! I really love you! I really do!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“But what if I reject you now?”
she asked.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Then I’ll marry Ananya here” I
said and I winked at her.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
At this, she mockingly slapped me
and planted a peck on my cheek. I hugged her and kissed her on the forehead.
The others cheered. I felt like Ross then. I should never let her go again. Never
ever. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Gaga … my dear Gaga… my dearest
Gaga…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The climax was all so cinematic. <span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Happens only in
fiction. The reality could be a lot different. Yet, sometimes reality is more
surprising than fiction.</span>I
wonder if the scene had been lifted straight from some Indian movie. Or
perhaps from a Chetan Bhagat novel. Or from the silly story of some wannabe IIM
writer, writing it sitting in some remote town called Kashipur. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Should be the third one…these
silly wannabe IIM writers, I tell you…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">-Ashwin Murali</i></b></div>
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Ashmurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07492523564262055217noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1411284539406341094.post-45888785871575179652014-10-04T01:38:00.000+05:302014-10-04T09:51:06.536+05:30Gaga Chronicles Part 3: Love lost – a villain on the scene<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>Hello to all my readers! First of all, a big apology from my side. When I posted the first two parts of the story 'Gaga Chronicles', I lied that I had finished the story. It's one thing to finish the story in your mind. It's a completely different thing to finish typing it down to the last word. Plus, I realized one thing. Writing a love story is far more difficult than perhaps loving itself. It's so difficult, I tell you. Kudos to all those writers who have crafted those timeless romantic masterpieces in the past. My respect for you has grown ten-fold.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Now to the exciting part. I am very happy to inform you all that I am a published author now. The book I co-wrote with authors from other IIMs titled 'Small Big Bang' was launched with much fanfare and is available for sale in Amazon and Ebay ( <a href="http://www.amazon.in/gp/offer-listing/8192976106/">http://www.amazon.in/gp/offer-listing/8192976106/</a>) Do give it a read and mail me your comments about the book. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>All that done, here are the final two parts of the story 'Gaga Chronicles'. These are slightly lengthy, but I hope they keep you engrossed. I got a very good feedback for the first two parts. Since it's been quite a while (almost 6 months) since the first two parts were posted, you may need to refresh yourselves by going through the first two parts again before you start reading the third and the fourth parts. I have never written such a long story and I could have easily developed it into a novel, but I want to test the waters before I take the plunge.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>As mentioned before, this is a work of pure fiction. For those of you who insist on reading beyond what's apparent, let me tell you, for any story, the author brings in elements from his/her own life and weaves a fiction around it. That's the reason why you might find some similarities between the characters in the story and those in real life. I spoke to a lot of people, a few couples and observed many of my friends from close quarters, before I could sketch these characters. A figment of my own imagination and an element of my own fantasies might find a place in the story. But that's that . Nothing more. It's not my story. If something so exciting ever happens in my life, I'll definitely write about it someday. But that's for another day. This is today. Hope you like the final two parts of the story. If you do, I am happy. If you don't, I am sorry.Like I said, I'm still an amateur and I'll try to improve the next time around. Happy reading!!</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>-Ashwin Murali</i><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">This is Part 3 of the story 'Gaga Chronicles'. To read Part 1, click <a href="http://ashwinmurali.blogspot.in/2014/04/gaga-chronicles-part-1-friendship.html">here</a>. </span></i><i><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">To read Part 2, click <a href="http://ashwinmurali.blogspot.in/2014/04/gaga-chronicles-part-2-happiness.html">here.</a> </span></i><i><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">To read Part 4, click <a href="http://ashwinmurali.blogspot.in/2014/10/gaga-chronicles-part-4-fight-for-love.html">here</a>.</span></i><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Disclaimer:</b> This
is a work of pure fiction. All the characters and the sequences are a figment
of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to any person dead or alive is
purely coincidental.</div>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">June 15<sup>th</sup>, 2011:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
We were done with the Hell Week
at IIM-A. The first week is probably the most demanding week in the course in
all IIMs and is called the Hell Week. People hardly get a couple of hours of
sleep every day during the Hell Week. The week totally drained me out. All my
enthusiasm and energy was sapped during that week. The worst part was that I
could not talk to Gaga even once during that week. We were only able to
exchange wishes through Whatsapp a couple of times. Things lighten up a bit,
post the Hell Week. So, I relaxed a bit and called her. Little did I know or
realize that her Hell Week had just started in IIM-B. She did not pick up my
call. This was not new to me. She had ignored my calls before. But this time,
it pained me a little. No. A lot. During the previous instances when she
ignored my call, I knew I’d be seeing her anyway, the next day. But that was
not the case now. I tried calling her once more and again there was no
response. I then texted her, briefly explaining my week, and asked if
everything was fine with her and asked her to call me when she got free. We had
a couple of days off before normal classes resumed. All this happened on the
first day of the two days off. I spent almost the entire day looking at the
Whatsapp screen hoping for a reply. Her header said “last seen at 06:03”. I
then understood that she was busy with some work and had not checked her
Whatsapp. Just to be on the safer side, I sent the same message via normal SMS.
This way, I knew she would definitely see my message, even if she is not able
to check Whatsapp due to some net problem. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
In the evening, I was to meet
Ashwin and the two girls. Though we befriended each other through Facebook and
Whatsapp, we hardly got the time to interact properly as the Hell Week kept us
busy all the time. So we decided to meet in the evening.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
This was our first real
interaction. We introduced ourselves properly. I knew Ashwin well and he knew
me. He was my school mate for 12 years. He was a star quizzer and a shared interest
in quizzing brought us together. We were quiz partners at school and we made a
name for ourselves in many city-level quizzes. We were good friends then. Once
we finished school, Ashwin went on to do Engineering from a top college in
Chennai, while I was in Coimbatore. This moved us apart and slowly, we lost
touch over time. After graduating, I learnt from another friend that he went to
work with a top MNC firm in Mumbai. We befriended each other when Facebook came
into prominence. I got to know that he too made it to IIM-A after 3
unsuccessful attempts. He had posted an update on Facebook. Since then, we got
back in touch with each other and we knew for sure that we were going to be
those old buddies again, once in IIM-A. Sure enough, we were. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
One of the girls was Ananya
Suresh. She had finished her Engineering a year back and was working in one of
those regular IT companies. Hers seemed to be the usual story of IT employees –
routine job, feel bored, feel the need to get out of job, look at GRE, look at
CAT, settle for CAT, give CAT, get interview calls, lie to the panel that
you’re looking to start your own company in the future, convince them, clear
the interview and get into an IIM. What really struck me about her were her
beautiful eyes. They seemed to speak volumes. I got to admit here that I
thought she looked really beautiful the moment I saw her. For a brief fleeting
moment, I forgot that I had Gaga ;-)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The other girl was Sahana
Shankar. She was a Commerce graduate for a change. She worked in a small firm
for 2 years, before clearing CAT. But she already seemed to be pretty popular
in the campus, thanks to her singing career. She was a participant in a very
famous Reality Singing Programme for the past 2 years and she finished as a
finalist last year. So she was pretty popular with the followers of the
programme. I wasn’t one of them and had to be told all this. But she struck me
in the way she greeted us and spoke to us all with the ease and comfort of
long-time friends. I liked that about her. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
During our introduction and
interaction, I constantly kept looking at the phone, hoping for a reply from
Gaga. That gave me away. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Sahana popped up the question. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Akshay, can I ask you
something?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Yes”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Do you have a girlfriend?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I was surprised by the question.
I didn’t know what to say. The other two listened in keenly. My face gave me
away as I started blushing. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Awwww…!” they all chorused</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I decided to be honest with them.
If they were going to be my friends here for the next couple of years, I surely
can’t hide it from them. I told them all about Gaga.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
As soon as I finished my story,
Ananya gave a dejected look.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Vada Poche!” she muttered under
her breath, but I could hear it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
(Vada Poche is a colloquial
expression in Tamil that you use when you miss a great opportunity)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“What?” I asked her.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Nothing! Nice story. Hmmmm!" </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“What was that?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Nothing! I just mentally
prepared a list of good-looking guys here who I could … you know… have a
chance… You were on top of that list, but, sigh! There seems to be some truth
in the statement ‘All the good ones are taken!’”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Whoa!” I thought to myself. The
other two laughed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
She joined in the laughter.
“Akshay, you fell for that, didn’t you? Ha ha ha!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I smiled at her.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Don’t worry! I won’t hit on you.
Infact, it’s the guys here who are hitting on me. Infact, I have already got 5
proposals.” She beamed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Not a surprise at all,
considering how beautiful you look”, I blurted out.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Aww… thank you!” she smiled.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Wait a minute! Ananya, IIM-A,
good-looking, 5 proposals within a week. Doesn’t this remind you of a
bestseller book from the ‘most famous’ author in the country?” Ashwin chipped
in.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Ha ha! Very funny! I know people
would bring up that ‘2 States’ for sure. Of all the names he could have chosen,
why did he have to name that character ‘Ananya’? I’m mad at him for that. You
know what? Everyone in my family teased me about it before I came here. My dad
suggested that he wouldn’t mind a Krish Malhotra for a son-in-law, but asked me
to look for a Krishna Manohar, positively.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Sahana, who was observing us,
suddenly joined in.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Would he be ok with an Ashwin
Ram?” she winked.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Ashwin was taken by surprise.
“Hey... Sahana!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“I was simply helping you. I have
been observing you for some time and you simply could not take your eyes off
her” Sahana remarked smilingly.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“No, it was Akshay who said that
she looked beautiful and I was just seeing if he was right”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Ok. With that, I’ll take your
name as No.6” Ananya winked.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“NOOOO…!” Ashwin shouted.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
We all laughed heartily.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I liked these people. We gelled
well together. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The next day:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Meeting the gang eased me a bit and I slept
without bothering myself about Gaga’s impending reply. The next day morning,
the familiar feeling of pain returned. It’s strange that in love, it’s the
early mornings that your heart pounds the most. All feelings of pain prop up
then. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
As soon as I got off from the
bed, I looked at my phone for any message from her. Nothing. Then I opened
whatsapp. Again nothing. But then something else caught my eye. The text near
her name read “last seen at 07:03 AM”. It was 7:30 then. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
What the heck! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The fact that she was last seen
at 7:03 proved that she would have read my message. Why didn’t she reply then?
This really troubled me and I sat staring at that screen for about 20 minutes.
I could not bear it and I typed out a message to her asking why she hasn’t
replied to my message. I could sense that I wasn’t my normal self. I was
slipping back to the pre-CAT days when I used to feel such pain when she didn’t
reply to my messages.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I finished my breakfast and
switched on the net again. The phone notified me about a whatsapp message from
Gaga. The feeling of joy I felt then was unimaginable. Hurriedly, I opened the
message. She had apologized for taking so long to reply and in a couple of
lines, explained that she was going through hell and it was taking a toll on
her. I understood that she was struggling through the hell week and told her
that it’ll all be ok once the week was done. Saying so, I wished her and asked her
to take care. She thanked me and logged off. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Even though it was only a small
whatsapp conversation, it elated me and provided me with enough energy to stay
fresh for the rest of the day. It’s funny to note the things love can do to you
:P</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Feeling energetic, I teamed up
with Ashwin and we participated in a Quiz in the afternoon that the Quiz Club
had organized for the new batch. It was a throwback to our school days and we
totally enjoyed each other’s company. We complemented each other well and we
rocked the quiz. We made it to the on-stage finals and our team won the quiz by
a thumping margin. Our batchmates in the audience cheered us during the finals.
It was like in our school days. Our victory made us popular in our batch and
the two girls were elated that we won. Finally, I realized that I had
discovered something that would keep me engaged during my two years at the
institute. We were directly recruited into the Quiz Club based on our
performance in that quiz. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I messaged Gaga the news about
the quiz in the evening and surprisingly, she replied immediately saying how
proud she was of me. I could not ask for anything more. I thanked her and
messaged an ‘I love you’ to her and went to sleep peacefully. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">A week later:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Classes had begun and we all
settled in. To our surprise, all four of us were put in the same section. We
could not ask for more and our bond only strengthened with this arrangement.
Gaga was done with her hell week at IIM-B and she called me after that. We
spoke for some 20 minutes about our experiences before she had to cut short the
call for some work had propped up. I was disappointed that we could not talk
more, but realized that’s how things are going to be. We exchanged ‘good
morning’ and ‘good night’ wishes everyday in whatsapp and that kept me going. I
sent her some whatsapp messages but got no reply. Though it worried me, I
convinced myself that it was alright. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">July 10<sup>th</sup>, 2011:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
By now things were more or less
settled for everyone. I did manage to talk to Gaga a couple of times, but on
both instances the conversation was brief and lasted not more than 10 minutes.
I learnt that she had been selected for their Marketing Club and I felt happy
for her. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
It did strike me that day during
the phone call with her that she sounded disinterested. I asked her why and she
curtly replied that it was nothing. This was the first time that some alarm
bell struck in a corner of my mind. The fears that I had with respect to the
two of us before we left Coimbatore, made a sudden reappearance. I felt
dejected that day. But I thought about July 20<sup>th</sup>. Her birthday. I
wanted to surprise her with a gift for her birthday. So I logged on to Flipkart
and chose a nice book for her as a gift. I did not have her address, but I got
the address of a batchmate’s sister who was studying in IIM-B and shipped it to
that address with Gaga’s name. I felt that she would like the gift.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">July 20<sup>th</sup>, 2011:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I called Gaga at midnight to wish
her. She was happy that I wished her promptly. There were noises from her end
that suggested that a cake cutting was on. That evening, she called me. She was
overjoyed that I had gifted her something. It was planned to get the gift
delivered to her on that day and she was touched by the gesture. I felt very
happy that she was happy and we chatted for about an hour. But a certain thing
she mentioned during our conversation worried me. She repeatedly kept
mentioning the names of two boys – Kaushik and Aditya. She informed me that
they were also from Tamilnadu and that they had been very helpful to her over
the past month. This totally irked me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
A sure-shot way for any girl to
annoy a boyfriend is to talk highly of other boys to him. I forgot what
happened in the rest of the call, but I only remember telling her that I have
some work and cutting the call. That night, I messaged her saying sorry that I
had to cut the call short. She was fine and she told me about the cake cutting
she had. I asked her to upload some pics in Facebook. She said she would.
Strangely enough, I logged on to Facebook and found that there were no updates
or no new pics in her profile ever since she left Coimbatore. This was very
strange for a girl who was very active on Facebook. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">August 10<sup>th</sup>, 2011:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
By now, our mid-terms for the
first trimester was done and there was a gang meet. Since we were in the same
section, the four of us never missed any opportunity to team up as a group for
any group work, assignment or project. And most of the meetings would happen in
my room or Ashwin’s room. The last few days were very taxing and we were glad
that mid-terms were done. My conversation with Gaga was increasingly getting confined
to whatsapp messages alone as our erratic schedules prevented us from calling
each other. She did not seem to mind for she was happy with this arrangement.
But it bothered me that I could not talk to her.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The past few days, I had insisted
on a pic upload from her side as I had not seen her ever since we left
Coimbatore. Video-calling was not an option as she did not like it. So I was
eagerly looking forward to some photo updates on Facebook. It so happened, that
particular day, some batch-mate of hers had uploaded a group pic in which she
was present. She was tagged initially, but she quickly untagged herself. I
simply happened to be on FB then and I caught that pic when she was tagged. She
was standing in front of a restaurant with 6 guys and 3 girls from her batch
who were a part of the Marketing Club along with her. She looked elegant and
beautiful as ever. I kept admiring her, when the gang walked in. They caught me
looking at her pic and started teasing me. The plan that day was to order pizza
and watch a movie in my room. Since my love became a topic of discussion,
everyone was asked to talk about their love/crush.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Ashwin had a funny story to tell.
He spoke of how he had a crush on a junior named Srinidhi from our school and
how he found her on Facebook while he was in Mumbai, befriended her on FB and started
chatting with her. I remembered that girl Srinidhi. She was Shwetha’s
classmate. His story reminded me of Shwetha. I too found her on FB while in
Kakinada, but my work prevented me from having any chats with her. I was drawn
in by Ashwin’s story.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“You started chatting. It went
well for a couple of months. Then what happened?” I asked Ashwin.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
He gave a sheepish smile and
ignored me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I pressed again. The girls joined
in too.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“You know, it was her birthday
and I wished her. Out of nowhere, she thanked me with the words ‘Thank you Anna’.
That was it.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
We all burst out laughing. ‘Anna’
is a respectful term in Tamil, used to address an elder brother.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“You didn’t know this while you
were chatting with her for 2 months?” I asked.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“No. She only addressed me as
Ashwin in all those chats. But she made it clear to me in that reply. Post
that, whenever we chatted, she addressed me as ‘Anna’. And thus ended my love
story.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Again we all laughed. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Ananya had a familiar tale of
multiple proposals to tell. Her count in the institute now stood at 16. I asked
her the total count in her life so far.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Must be 37 or 38” she quipped.
We again started laughing. This laughter ended only when Sahana told her story.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
She had a colleague who worked
with her in the small firm that she worked. He was a guy who she admired
greatly for his quick wit and intelligence. She liked him but did not show. He
too liked her and he tried to express it in every discreet way possible. Though
Sahana understood what he was trying to tell her, she thwarted all his
attempts. She was not sure if she could give a commitment to him amidst her
singing career and her MBA ambitions. So she maintained status quo and came to
Ahmedabad.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“I think he still likes me a lot
and cares for me, but am not sure about myself” she said.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
It was clear from the tone of her
voice that she liked him and missed him.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“What’s his name?” I asked.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Sathya. Sathya Prakash”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Her story kinda made us all a
little sad. To change the mood, I showed them Gaga’s pic in FB and also told
them how I was awaiting her promised pic update in FB. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
With this they started teasing me
and we enjoyed dinner with a nice movie.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">August 15<sup>th</sup>, 2011:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I remember everything about that
day. We had Independence Day celebrations in the institute in the morning in
which my batchmates performed some skits, sang a few songs and Ashwin gave a
small speech. It was an enjoyable day till the evening. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
In the evening, I casually opened
Facebook and was taken aback when I saw a pic of Gayu. She was standing in the
centre of the pic, elegantly dressed and on either side of her, stood a guy.
The guys were neatly dressed and they had Gayu stand in between them. They were
tagged in the pic as Kaushik Ravindran and Aditya Ramnath.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
On any normal day, I would have
appreciated that pic. But that day, it pained me. It pained me to see her with
two strange guys who she had spoken about. She did look well in the pic but I
could not appreciate her beauty. All I could notice in that pic were the two
guys. The two guys who now looked like villains to me. Villains who would take
Gaga away from me. I would realize later that it was nothing but plain jealousy
on my part. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Silently, I logged off FB and sat
in my bed with phone. I opened whatsapp. There was already a message from Gaga.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Hi Akshay, I have finally
uploaded a pic in FB. Take a look. Hope you like it. I am with my friends
Kaushik and Aditya in that pic.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I was envious and I was angry. In
that same state of mind, I began to type a message.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
It is said that you should never
reply to anyone when you are angry. I was to realize this later. But that day,
I kinda lost my sense and I typed out a message.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Yeah, saw the pic Gayu. I didn’t
like it. You look bad in that pic. You don’t look your usual elegant self in
that pic.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
That was it. That was the tipping
point. One thing I realized later, that I felt I should remember for the rest
of my life, is that never ever talk ill of a girl’s looks. Never. If you don’t
like the way she looked, it’s best not to say anything. Never blurt out your
thoughts as to what you feel about their looks. They will not like it. They
will remember it for the rest of their lives. Anything good you say might be
forgotten, but these things will be remembered forever.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I realized my mistake only when I
did not receive a single reply for the next 2 hours. By the time I regained my
senses, it was too late. The damage had been done.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I tried calling her, but she
would not pick up my call. I sent about half a dozen apology messages to her.
It was only after the sixth apology message that I got a reply.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“It’s alright. Now I have work.
Good night!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Having been with Gaga for over a
year now, I had learnt to sense the tone from her messages and interpret them.
What her message actually meant was “What you’ve said is not alright. You won’t
be forgiven. Now leave me alone.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I was clearly devastated and
could not sleep that night. It turned out to be a horrible day. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">September 15<sup>th</sup>, 2011 and the week that followed:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Our first trimester exams had
ended and we had four days off before the next trimester began. Since the day
of the pic fiasco, the frequency of messages from Gayu reduced a lot. In this
one month, we spoke to each other only once and that was only because of my
repeated insistence. She sounded as though she was a stranger to me in that
call. I apologized to her once again and she told me that she had forgotten all
about it. She wished me all the best for my exams and told me that she had her
exams coming too and she ended the call. Though I kept denying it to myself, it
was clear that she was moving away from me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I was totally shaken by Gaga’s
indifference. She kept ignoring my messages. The worst way a girl can punish a
boy is by ignoring him. Boys can never take it. Even a negative reply is okay,
but ignoring is something that kills you. I took solace in the gang whenever I
felt down, which was like always over the past month. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I chose not to go home for the
term break for I felt 4 days were too less for me. Ananya stayed behind too,
while the other two left for Delhi to their respective relatives’ places. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
It so happened that Ananya fell
terribly sick on the first day off. Since there was no one around, I took her
to the institute hospital where she was admitted immediately. Most of the
students had left the campus for the break and only a handful was present. I
felt that I should not leave her alone in the hospital and so I stayed by her
side. She was on drips and medication. I took it upon myself to get her food
and give her company by talking to her, whenever she was awake. She was sedated
at other times. I informed her parents too, who were very worried and promised
to come immediately. I asked them to relax for now for she seemed to get
better. It was a viral infection of some kind and a dosage of antibiotics cured
her. She was there in the hospital for 3 days and I stayed by her side for all
the 3 days. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
It was unlike me to do some help
of that sort. I could have just visited her from time to time and left the
hospital at other times. But I did not do that. I did not know why but I felt
that I would have done the same for any person in that position. Not just
Ananya.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
She was discharged on the fourth
day and her parents also came that day. They thanked me profusely for the help
and since she was still recuperating, I took them around the campus and got
them a guest accommodation. They spoke to me for long about so many things and
I could tell that this was not a normal conversation that any parent would have
with a friend of their ward. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
By the fifth day, everyone returned
and our second trimester started. Ananya recovered well enough and by now,
Sahana was there to take care of her and bring her to the classes. She was
completely normal within a week. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
At the end of the week, Ananya
invited me to her room. I went. I thought that the gang would be there, but was
surprised that she had invited only me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Hello Akshay, I can read your
mind. You’re wondering where the others are. Am I right?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Yep”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“They are not coming for I did
not call them. I only called you.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Oh, I see. Anything special?
Good to see you hale and healthy again.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Thanks. That would not have been
possible if not for you. I wanted to thank you personally for what you did. I’m
totally indebted to you for the invaluable help you rendered Akshay. I don’t
know if I would have survived if not for you.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Saying so, she wept. She then
came near me and hugged me. I felt strange. What am I supposed to do in such a
situation? She required a shoulder to cry on and I lent her that. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Hey, it’s alright Ananya. You’re
fine now. So don’t worry about it”, saying so I patted her on the back and made
her sit. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I could sense that she was
growing on me and growing fond of me. I didn’t want that. So I bid her goodbye,
asked her to take care and left the place. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">October 2<sup>nd</sup>, 2011:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I was on a call.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Hello Gaga. Do you remember me?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Hellooo Akshay! Ofcourse, how
can I forget you? Even today morning, I was thinking about you.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“No calls. No messages. No
whatsapp. No replies. What’s this Gayu?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“I know, I know. I am sorry. Life
was very hectic.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“I understand that you had exams
and I did not bother you then. But the week after that? How many times I
messaged you and called you? Neither did you pick my calls nor did you reply to
my messages. I was devastated. If you are angry with me for something, I
apologize. Please tell me if you are upset with me for something. We’ll talk
about it and we can fight it out. But please... please don’t ignore me Gayu.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“I am sorry Akshay. I understand
that I may have hurt you. I wanted some time for myself and so I decided to
turn off whatsapp for a week.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I sensed the change in her tone.
She hates complaints/criticism about her. So I changed the topic and told her
about Ananya and how she got sick and all. While Gayu appreciated my timely
help, she did not sound happy about me staying by Ananya’s side for 3 days. Was
she jealous? Probably. So I obviously did not tell her about how Ananya hugged
me in her room.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The call lasted for 20 minutes
before she had to go. I said the customary “I love you” to her. She replied with
a ‘Thanks!’</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Irritated as I was, I felt better
talking to her after nearly a month.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">October 28<sup>th</sup>, 2011:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Our one year anniversary. One
year since she confessed about her feelings for me. One year since we started
seeing each other.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I was hoping that she remembered
and called me to wish. I, ofcourse remembered every single thing that happened
that day, a year ago. These past 25 days since her last phone call were very
very hectic with so many things happening at the institute both on the academic,
as well as on the non-academic fronts. So I could not get time to call her, not
that she ever bothered. I sent her a few whatsapp messages. As usual, I did not
receive any replies. It used to frustrate me whenever I see the title next to
her name saying “last seen at xx hours”. If the time happened to be after the
time I had posted my message, and if I don’t get a reply, the frustration
simply doubled. One suggestion I wanted to give the developers of whatsapp was
to remove this ‘last seen at’ feature (which they eventually did 2 years
later).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I waited to see if she would
call. It was 8 PM and I had received no call till then. So I called her praying
that she should pick up. Luckily, she did. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Hai Akshay, anything important?
Tell me quickly. I am in a hurry.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Oh…it’s nothing. I just wanted
to wish you for our…our…you know… our one year anniversary.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Oh… is it? I didn’t know. Thanks
Akshay. Wish you the same.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Thanks Gaga.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Ok, listen. I need to go now. I
am going out for dinner. I am in a hurry. Kaushik is waiting for me. I’ll catch
you later. Bye”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Bye!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
That last sentence. The mention
of the name Kaushik! It totally ruined my day. I was frustrated beyond my
limits. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I logged on to Facebook and I
went to her friends list. There I found his name. I clicked on his profile. He
looked an ordinary guy with ordinary looks and a very typical IT profile in
which he had worked with an IT company for 3 years before coming to IIM-B.
Despite his decent profile, he looked a complete loafer to me. The loafer who
would take Gaga away from me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could
not sleep that night. Here I was, lying lonely and thinking about her, while
she was celebrating our anniversary with my villain. Sort of stories that you
normally get to see only in the movies. (Continued in Part 4 ...)<br />
<br />
<i>To read Part 4, click <a href="http://ashwinmurali.blogspot.in/2014/10/gaga-chronicles-part-4-fight-for-love.html">here</a>.</i></div>
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Ashmurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07492523564262055217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1411284539406341094.post-12148358543737180212014-04-15T23:47:00.000+05:302014-10-04T17:08:51.380+05:30Gaga Chronicles - Part 2: Happiness enroute to IIM<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">This is Part 2 of the story 'Gaga Chronicles'. To read Part 1, click <a href="http://ashwinmurali.blogspot.in/2014/04/gaga-chronicles-part-1-friendship.html">here</a>. </span></i><i><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">To read Part 3, click <a href="http://ashwinmurali.blogspot.in/2014/10/gaga-chronicles-part-3-love-lost.html">here</a>. </span></i><i><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">To read Part 4, click <a href="http://ashwinmurali.blogspot.in/2014/10/gaga-chronicles-part-4-fight-for-love.html">here</a>.</span></i><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Disclaimer:</b> This
is a work of pure fiction. All the characters and the sequences are a figment
of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to any person dead or alive is
purely coincidental.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">August 10<sup>th</sup>
2010:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ever since that incident, she stopped talking to Nithin and
she increasingly hung out with me at the office. I felt really happy at this
increased attention that I was getting. As fate would have it, by some strange
coincidence, Nithin was transferred to the Kakinada plant along with Vishal and
Priya. Nithin was unhappy while the other two were elated. Gayu refused to come
to their farewell and I had to convince her and bring her along. All three had
left a couple of days back.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was sitting in the office in the evening with Gayu. I was
feeling uncomfortable with her these days. She started trusting me as a close
friend. But I started developing something for her. I had to keep telling
myself that she trusted me as a friend and I should be that. A war was being
waged within me. Every day it used to kill me. I used to wake up early and used
to check my Facebook chat the first thing in the morning, hoping for a message
or a reply from her. I was becoming addicted to these chats. She dominated my
thoughts throughout the day. I kept denying myself at first. Then later, I had
to acknowledge that I had something for her. Still I kept telling myself that
it was just a crush and that it would wear away pretty soon. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That particular day, I was talking to her and suddenly I
began sharing stories about my past with her. Out of nowhere, before I
realized, I spoke to her about Shwetha. Shwetha – my junior and crush from
school. As time progressed, I realized that it was just a crush that I had on
Shwetha, but that crush dominated my thoughts for a good period of 3 to 4
months while at Kakinada. Gayu listened to this story intently. I was
surprised. Did she show a hint of jealousy in her face? I felt so and I felt
happy. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">A week later:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She kinda became interested in my past and I narrated all
the major happenings in my life to her. She seemed impressed. I was under a
trance. At those rare moments that I came out of the trance, I felt angry at
myself for sharing everything with her. But my mind would immediately convince
me that it was ok. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By now, my feelings for her had increased ten-fold,
especially since I shared my story with her. The CAT exam was also drawing
nearer. With great effort, I managed to divert my thoughts and concentrate on
the exam. I convinced myself saying that everything depended on how I performed
in that exam. By now, my mock test scores were also good and I was scoring more
than her. I felt happy. She noticed this change in me and asked me a couple of
times as to why I looked dull and withdrawn. I said that the impending CAT exam
was the reason. That was not completely false. As the exam date drew nearer, I
began to feel increasingly restless. My mock test scores were very good and I
felt that I should keep up the momentum to replicate those scores in the real
exam. My thoughts then were equally divided between the exam and her. But with
great effort, I managed to suppress her thoughts and focus on the exam. Her
mock scores were also good and perhaps, she took the cue from me and she too
started focusing more on the exam. Our conversations in the office also became
limited and we decided to stop studying together in the evenings in order to
focus solely on the areas that each of us required improvement. Despite the
reduced conversations, the chemistry with her was intact and one smile was all it
required to ascertain that. There was a tacit understanding between us then to
prioritize the exam before everything else. This way, we carried on for the next
month and a half.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">October 14<sup>th</sup>
2010:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The day of the CAT exam. Since the exam was made online the
previous year, people booked slots and took the exam as per their convenience
during the testing window. Gayu had taken the exam the previous day. I called
and wished her in the morning and she called me after the exam. She sounded
very happy and I could sense that she had done really well. I felt happy for
her, but at the same time, I felt pressurized for I had to do well.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She called me early in the morning to wish me luck. I
thanked her and felt happy. I went and wrote the exam. It kinda went well, but
I was not sure if my performance would get me a high 99 percentile score in
order to get an interview call from IIM Ahmedabad. Still, I was relieved that
the exam got over and went home a happy man. She called me before I could call
her and I told her that it went well. She felt happy. Her happiness made me
happier for I had never experienced something like that before. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">A week later:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The week after the exam was real fun. Normal conversation
ensued between us and I could sense my feelings for her come back to their full
glory. With those feelings, the pain started. The pain that resulted from my thinking
that I was betraying our friendship. It was a precarious situation for me as
our normal conversations began to make me feel uneasy. I was not sure if I had
to go ahead and tell her about my feelings. How would she take it? Would she
get mad at me? Would she shun me completely like she did with Nithin? Suddenly,
I felt sorry for Nithin. I could now realize what he might have gone through.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was 10 days after the CAT exam. I felt that I needed some
time for myself to think about certain things. So I took a couple of days off
and decided to go on a bike trip to Ooty. She came to know of this and she
wished me goodbye saying that she was jealous of me for I could go on such
trips. I had half a mind to ask her if she could join me on that trip, but then
refrained from doing so, knowing her. She would not even come to the local hill
temple when we went with office colleagues. Forget a road trip for 2 days with
me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Those 2 days provided me with a much-needed break to think
about things. At first, I was trying to convince myself that it was only an
extended crush that would soon wear off. But all the signs pointed to the
contrary. So I made peace with myself and reconciled to the fact that I was in
love for the first time in my life. This is what those great poets, artists,
writers and musicians meant by love. A feeling unparalleled. I have heard my
friends say that it causes pain. Now I realized what they meant by that. I had
been experiencing that pain for the past few days. So once I convinced myself,
I tried one last time to save myself from this feeling. I thought about all her
positives and negatives and tried to balance them. But when you are so deeply
in love, you tend to convince yourself that all the negatives aren’t negatives
after all and that you can manage them. Perhaps, this is why they say that love
is blind. All your rationality goes for a toss. At the end of this exercise, I
was convinced of her and my love for her and decided that I should let her know
of it, come what may. I also thought about what would happen if a situation
similar to Nithin’s arises. There again I convinced myself that I could handle
it. It’s better to tell her about my feelings and face the consequence than not
say at all. So I made up mind to talk to her about it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">October 28<sup>th</sup>
2010:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was a half a day at the office due to some function and
we were free to leave after 1 PM. I decided that this was the day. I decided to
ask her to come to lunch with me and then maybe, I’ll tell her about my
feelings. I met her at 12 PM at the Boiler room.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hi Akshay”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hi Gayu”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Akshay, listen. I want to ask you something”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was surprised.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yes, tell me”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Are you free today evening? Can you come to People’s Garden
restaurant at 7 PM? I need to tell you something. I need you to meet a person.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was totally confused.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Sure Gayu. I’ll come”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Good. Come to the AC hall in the first floor at 7. See you
then. Bye”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Sure. Bye Gayu”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My head started spinning. What is this girl up to? I was
about to call her for lunch and she calls me for dinner and she wants me to
meet someone. It all seemed so cinematic. Like in the movies. Perhaps, she’ll introduce
some unknown boyfriend of hers to me. Oh God! I was totally confused and didn’t
know what was happening. Quietly, I skipped lunch and went home. I tried to
sleep but could not. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hurriedly, I got ready and went to the restaurant at 6.30
PM. She wasn’t there yet, but she had apparently reserved a table. I went and
sat at the table which had 3 chairs. I feared the worst. I was preparing myself
for the worst. I expected her to walk in with a guy and introduce him to me as
her boyfriend. My mind was killing me. I had to take it normally, wish them and
move out. All these thoughts kept playing in my mind and I kept staring at the
entrance.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At 7:05 PM, she walked in. ALONE. I looked behind her to see
if there was someone. No. There was no one. She looked elegantly dressed and
looked like a damsel. She was a good looking girl, but over the past few
months, to me, she looked like she was the most beautiful girl in the world.
That’s what love does to you. She walked up to me smilingly. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hi Akshay! Been waiting for long?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No. Not really” I lied.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Thanks for coming. You look great in this white shirt and
blue jeans Akshay”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Thanks a lot Gayu. You look beautiful in this kurti too.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Thank you”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“So…? What’s special? Why this dinner plan all of a sudden?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well, there is news… but, I don’t know how to start….”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What’s the hesitation Gayu? It’s me. You can tell me
anything. And by the way, you told me that you were bringing someone along to
meet me. Where’s that person?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well... I am coming to that. Promise me that you will
listen to me carefully without interrupting me.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By now, I was prepared for the worst. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Go ahead Gayu”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well, it’s like this. You know what happened between Nithin
and me right?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I nodded.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I have been a conservative girl. I studied in a girls’
school and only in college, I made friends with boys. I never had any serious
crush in my life. There were a couple of proposals to me in college, but even
then I did not feel anything. Nithin was the first close male friend that I
had. I did not like what Nithin did and hated guys for what he did. But a few
days after Nithin left, I met this guy. I knew this guy for some time. We began
talking to each other normally and we became good friends. I used to chat with
him in Facebook like I did with others. Over the course, I became close to him
and I began to like him. I felt something inside me that I had not felt before.
I realized that I was developing some feelings for him. I was convinced that it
was just a crush and it would wear off. But there was no sign of the feelings
going away and I had to convince myself that it was love. A magical feeling. I was
feeling shy as to how I would express it to him, but then made up my mind and
told him. He was elated for he too had experienced the same feelings. I was
happy beyond measure. We have been in love for over 10 days now and I wanted
you to know first before the rest of the world comes to know of it.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Her words felt like a knife piercing right through my heart.
With great difficulty, I maintained a straight face and smiled at her. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well, he has also come here. I wanted to tell you all this
before I let you meet him and introduce you to him.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh really? Where is he then?” I asked.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“He’s waiting downstairs for me to call him.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh, call him then. I’d love to meet him” I lied.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Let’s surprise him. Or better, you surprise him. You go to
him and surprise him. He knows you. I have shown him your pic. He’s waiting
downstairs in the reading room. Go down, turn left and go to the third door on
the right. That’s the way to the Reading Room. He’ll recognize you. Go surprise
him”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Ok. I’ll do that”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I left reluctantly. I had half a mind to run away from that
place. Tears were welling up in my eyes. Only after coming down, I realized
that I had even forgotten to ask his name. Heck! Who requires that idiot’s
name? I did not even want to meet him. Disappointment seemed a way of life for
me. Events from my past flashed before my eyes. Tears flowed out. I wiped my
eyes. Guess, this was the first time I was shedding tears in a long time. With
a heavy heart, I walked past the doors one by one till I came to the third door
on the right. I was contemplating whether to open it or not. With heavy
reluctance, I opened that door. There was no room. Instead a huge mirror was
facing me. I stared at my own teary face. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A MIRROR!!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What does it mean? Is there a mistake? I double-checked if I
had opened the correct door. Yes, I have.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
WAIT A MINUTE!! A MIRROR!! I was staring at myself. WOW!!!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All thoughts raced through my mind!! I was standing there in
disbelief. Tears of joy flowed down my face. I stared at myself one long time
in the mirror and turned around. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There she was!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Gayu was slowly walking towards me in the deserted corridor.
There was tension and excitement writ large in her face. She saw that I was
excited too and slowly opened up.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Akshay…well… you are the one! I could not sleep properly
for the past 2 months and my mind was flooded with thoughts about you. There’s
one thing though. I said that I began to like this guy after Nithin left. I
lied. I liked you long before that. Ever since the day I saw you at the quiz, I
began to like you. That was the reason why I was so mad at Nithin and that was
the reason why I was mad at you too when you told me about Nithin. You were
always sweet to me. After Nithin left, my feelings for you increased. I was
afraid that I would give it away and that could affect both our CAT
performances. That’s why I waited till CAT got over. I wanted to tell you about
it last week, but you were getting ready for your road trip. So I decided to
tell you once you returned. When you told me about the road trip, I had half a
mind to ask you if I could come along. Today, I made up my mind to tell you. I
was too shy to tell you straight in the face. So I decided to play this little
game and surprise you. So … so… I am sorry about this... but... do you... do you...
do you like me too Akshay?” She completed that last part of the sentence with
hesitation.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I looked her straight in the eye. All I wanted to do then
was to hug her tight and plant a kiss on her cheek. But considering the place
we were in, I controlled myself. I took her hand in mine and held it tight
close to my chest. She looked at me. She got her answer. Tears of joy flowed
down her face. I wished the world would remain frozen at that moment. That was
perhaps the happiest moment of my life. That was the best day of my life. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Next 2 months:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The next 2 months were probably the best time of my life. Every
day, I used to go to office early and wait for her. We spent as much time as we
could with each other. I felt very happy around her. We decided to limit our
time together only to office as it’d become apparent to everyone otherwise.
However, we chatted for atleast an hour in Facebook every night. I grew fond of
her. She was not so expressive of her feelings, even though she liked me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She never said ‘I love you’ to me even in chat, while I told
her that atleast 3 times every day. She just acknowledged it with a smile. This
irked me a bit and I complained to her about it. She told me that it’d take
time for her and that it’d happen in due course of time and asked me not to
rush it. I realized that it’d happen and decided not to press it any further. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I should have realized then that things were not as rosy as
they seemed. But my love for her blinded all that. I was extremely happy and I
wanted that to continue.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Jan 16<sup>th</sup>
2011:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The day of the CAT results. I was very afraid. I feared what
would happen if this time too I ended up with a score in the 80s , even though
I knew well that I had worked much harder this time. Sitting alone in a corner
of my room, I typed out my Registration No and pressed ‘ENTER’. The next few
minutes were like a dream for me. The score read “99.89 percentile”. I had to
double check it. It was a moment of pure exhilaration. With abundant joy, I
conveyed the news to my parents and called her. She picked up the phone with a
scream. It was a scream of joy. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I got 99.12 percentile Akshay! What about you?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I felt overjoyed hearing that.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“99.89 Gayu!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“WOW!! Wheeeeee! Hurrayyyy!” Her scream only got louder. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As expected, we got our IIM calls within a week. The week
was spent soaking myself in the congratulatory messages and praises that were
pouring in from all quarters. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I got calls from all IIMs, whereas she got calls from
everything but Ahmedabad & Calcutta. She did not mind for it was Bangalore
that she wanted. I was somewhat disappointed when I saw that she did not get a
call from Ahmedabad. The future stared briefly in my face, but I let it pass. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The next 2 months were spent preparing for Group discussions
and interviews and we travelled around from one place to another giving
interviews. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">March 15<sup>th</sup>,
2011</b>. We were spent by then, giving so many interviews. The office came to
know of our CAT results and since the Manager was also an MBA, he was very
supportive of our efforts to do MBA. He appreciated our CAT results and gave us
leave to go and attend interviews. So by the time it was March, our work load significantly
reduced as we were given less work knowing that we would be leaving soon.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For the first time then, I expressed my fears to her.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Gaga, did you realize one thing?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What if I get Ahmedabad and Bangalore and you get
Bangalore?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“So what? You should go with Ahmedabad. That’s the best”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No. I’ll take Bangalore. I want to be with you.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Are you crazy? Give up A to take B? Only an idiot would do
that.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“But that would mean staying away from you.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“So what? It’s just 2 years. It would fly away in a jiffy.
We could be in touch all the time. Don’t worry. You should opt for the best, if
you get it.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Ok!” I said with a long face.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Separation from her is something that I had never thought
about, but that could happen now. I feared as to what would happen to us if we
stayed apart for 2 years. Would we be able to sustain the same love? Even now,
she did not give a resounding commitment to me and she hasn’t said ‘I love you’
yet. What if she begins to drift away from me if she stays away? I have read
numerous stories about how boys come to IIMs hoping to find their dream girl
there. How many proposals would she get? How many would she keep turning down?
What if some handsome guy with all the qualities she likes comes along and
proposes to her? Would she say no even then? Or would she forget me slowly and
eventually accept a proposal that comes along? MBA course load in an IIM would be very
hectic. She would be loaded with assignments, tests, cases and presentations
all the time. I’d also be loaded with the same. Would we find time to talk to
each other amidst all this? Would she pick up if I called? She would be working
with many guys on these projects and assignments. She would be with them almost
at all times. She would be observing them from close quarters. Would she begin
to like one of them then? What if she forgets me and chooses one of them over
me? She is not bound to pick my calls and stay in touch with me. Whereas, she is
bound to stay with them for the length of 2 years in close proximity. One of
the guys or many of them would like her, ask her out or propose to her. She is
bound to fall for one of them. I’d be a distant memory for her then. Oh God!
This can’t happen!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All these thoughts troubled my mind to the core and I lost
my peace over the next 10 days. I did not want to express my fears to her and
upset her. So I stayed calm.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">April 10<sup>th</sup></b>,
all IIM results came. Like expected, I made it to Ahmedabad and Bangalore along
with a host of other IIMs, while she made it to Bangalore and a few others. I
was not happy. She was elated. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was beginning to think about Bangalore, but my family,
friends and relatives had by then branded me as an IIM-A product. She even told
me that she felt proud that I am in a better college than her. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had to reluctantly come to terms with the fact that I was
going to Ahmedabad, while she was going to Bangalore. My fears did not allow me
to enjoy the moment of glory. But I decided to do one thing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I decided to tell my parents about her and introduce her to
them. I told her about it. She hesitantly agreed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I told my parents. Initially they were a little skeptic, but
once they saw her, they were happy. They never denied me anything as I was
their only son and my happiness was paramount for them. Having made it to
IIM-A, they were overjoyed with me and they wouldn’t deny me anything then. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She came home one evening, dressed elegantly as ever. She
stayed home for a couple of hours and had dinner. She spoke to my parents and
by the time she left, my parents were overjoyed with my selection. I could not
ask for more. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I wished she would do the same and introduce me to her
parents, but she was not ready yet. She however introduced me to them at a
public function, as a colleague. Not even a friend, but a colleague. I spoke to
them for some time and they seemed to like me. Infact, her mother invited me to
her home.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But what irked me was Gayu's indifference. It wouldn’t have
hurt her to introduce me as a friend, atleast. But no.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I should have sensed it and realized it then. But love
blinded me again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I asked her about it and she gave her customary reply that
she was not ready yet and asked me not to press it. I did not want to fight
with her in the last few days and so I dropped it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We quit the office together and gave a party to our team and
Manager. They were all aware by now that we were a couple and they joked that
this was like a pre-wedding party and that they would expect our wedding party
soon. I smiled at the joke while she did not like it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After the party, when everyone left, I gifted her a rare pen
stand that I found in an antique shop. I had seen her look at it in awe once when
we were crossing by and I remembered that. She was floored when she saw the
gift. Without a moment’s hesitation, she hugged me. I hugged her back. This was
the most physical contact that we ever had. I asked her if she would say ‘I
love you’ then. She gave a mischievous smile and replied “Not yet.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The last 10 days were spent in packing and getting ready to
leave. I was to leave earlier as my college started a week earlier than hers.
With every passing day, the thought of leaving her wore me down. Yet I
convinced myself that we would constantly stay in touch with each other. I
spoke to her about it and she assured me that she would stay in touch with me.
I believed her. Another mistake as I was to realize later.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">June 4<sup>th</sup>
2011:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The day of my departure. I was kinda depressed, but I did
not show it for the sake of my parents, friends and relatives who had come to
see me off. I was there at the station, waiting for the train. My entourage was
there and everyone was wishing me in their own way. But I was looking for only
one person. And then she came.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I excused myself and went to the adjacent platform with her,
away from everyone’s eyesight. My eyes welled up with tears for only the second
time in the last 2 years. I wanted to say so many things, but words never came
out.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She sensed my situation and closed my mouth with her hand.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Akshay, I love you!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I kissed her hand and hugged her, but immediately withdrew.
I held her hand tight.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Thanks Gayu! I love you too, my dear Gaga!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Akshay, I wanted to tell you that these last few months
with you were magical. Thanks for that wonderful time. Thanks for everything! Wish
you all the very best for your career! Do well!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What was that supposed to mean? Aren’t we going to be
together for a long time to come? I had no time to ask her all that. I simply thanked
her and moved to my entourage as the train slowly arrived. I bade goodbye to
Coimbatore and left for IIM-A.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She left a week later for IIM-B.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I sat in the train, my phone beeped. This newly launched
messaging app called ‘Whatsapp’ was wonderful. I had two messages. One was a
goodbye from Gayu, the other was a message in the newly formed group in Whatsapp
comprising of students from the state who were going to IIM-A. It had 4 members
– my school friend Ashwin Ram, who was also my quiz partner at school and two
girls named Ananya and Sahana. We all met through a Facebook group for those
who had converted their IIM-A calls. I discovered that Ashwin had also made it
to IIM-A through that group and later we discovered the 2 girls who were also
from Tamilnadu. We formed a group in Whatsapp for us. Well, they welcomed me to
IIM-A in that message for they had already reached. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was not going to be alone in Ahmedabad. I had friends. But
my mind longed for only one person I’d have wanted to be with, in Ahmedabad.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Gaga...my dear Gaga…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But what was to become in the next 2 years in MBA and how it
would turn my world upside down was something that I had not imagined even in
my wildest dreams.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For now, it was Mission IIM: ACCOMPLISHED!!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(<i>C</i>ontinued in Part 3 ...)<br />
<br />
<i><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">To read Part 3, click <a href="http://ashwinmurali.blogspot.in/2014/10/gaga-chronicles-part-3-love-lost.html">here</a>.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Ashwin Murali </div>
</div>
Ashmurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07492523564262055217noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1411284539406341094.post-31571793606479077322014-04-15T23:12:00.001+05:302014-10-04T17:10:30.879+05:30Gaga Chronicles - Part 1: Friendship turned sour; love – the culprit<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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</xml><![endif]--><i>My dear readers, </i><br />
<i>It's nice to be back in the blogosphere again. The last one year in IIM has been fun. It's not like I have not been writing in this period. I have been writing a lot. I even got an opportunity to co-author a book during this period and I successfully completed my part. The book is scheduled to be released soon. The other writings have been those mundane project reports, assignments and other similar stuff that you do in an MBA. I didn't find time to write a nice, juicy blog post during this period. Finally, got some time to finish a story that I had been writing for over 2 years now. I first got the idea for such a story after I finished Engineering in 2010. But the real work started in 2012 when the outline of the story was formed in my mind. Since then, it has undergone many changes and we have the current version here. This is the first time that I have tried my hand in writing a romantic story. Let me assure you that the story is purely fictional and is in no way connected to me or any person, dead or alive. I have written the story from a first person's perspective just for the ease of writing. Since it's a long story, I have split it into 4 parts. You can find Part 1 below. Will subsequently release the other parts one by one. Enjoy! Happy reading!</i><br />
<i>-Ashmur</i><br />
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</xml><![endif]--><i><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">This is Part 1 of the story 'Gaga Chronicles'. To read Part 2, click <a href="http://ashwinmurali.blogspot.in/2014/04/gaga-chronicles-part-2-happiness.html">here</a>. </span></i><i><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">To read Part 3, click <a href="http://ashwinmurali.blogspot.in/2014/10/gaga-chronicles-part-3-love-lost.html">here</a>. </span></i><i><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">To read Part 4, click <a href="http://ashwinmurali.blogspot.in/2014/10/gaga-chronicles-part-4-fight-for-love.html">here</a>.</span></i><br />
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Disclaimer:</b> This
is a work of pure fiction. All the characters and the sequences are a figment
of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to any person dead or alive is
purely coincidental.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">October 28<sup>th</sup>
2013:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I could not believe my eyes. I never thought it would come
down to this. I sat there reading and re-reading the mail that I had just
received. The subject line read “Wedding Invitation”. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dear Akshay,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am very happy to inform you that I am getting married. PFA
my wedding invitation……</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
……. Please treat this as my personal invite. ……..</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Regards,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Gayu</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hurriedly, I opened the attachment and read the name of the
groom. “Kaushik Raveendran”. That loafer. I suspected something was going on
between them, but I trusted her. I never for a moment thought that she would
fall for him. She deserves better. Definitely better than that stupid loafer. I
could not take it anymore. I sat down on the chair and looked up at the table. On
it was a nameplate that read <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">‘Akshay
Srinivas – MBA (IIM A)’</b>. Beneath it was written <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">‘Manager (Supply Chain), Amazon India’</b>. I stared at it for a long
time and wondered how insignificant my life had become despite having
everything on the professional front. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I took my phone and hurriedly typed out a message and sent
it to a group in Whatsapp. Within the next few minutes, I got messages that
read “Don’t worry...we’re there for you…blah<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>...blah blah…”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was in no mood to read them. Immediately, calls started
coming in. The first one read “Ashwin”, the second one read “Ananya” and the
third one read “Sahana”. I did not answer any of them. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I switched off my phone.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I closed my eyes. Memories came flooding back. They were
killing me. I don’t know if I can survive this. Slowly my mind raced back in
time.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">November 28<sup>th</sup>,
2009</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was sitting in my office at M&T Thermal Solutions
Ltd., a leading MNC with a rich history. My office room was at the Boiler
Control House - my most favourite place in this remote town in Kakinada District
of Andhra Pradesh. My phone rang. I picked it up. A couple of minutes later, I
called my boss. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Sir, they’re transferring me to our plant in Coimbatore.
Just got a call from HR.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Do you want to go? Are you happy?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Really happy sir. It’s my hometown. Why wouldn’t I be
happy? Moreover I can prepare for CAT exam too if I stay in my hometown. I wish
to do MBA from an IIM. You know that, right?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yep. Glad that you’re happy. I’ll issue the relieving
orders then. Wish you all the best Akshay! You were an asset to us. You’ll be
missed.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Thank you sir. I am sure that you’ll find a good
replacement.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">December 9<sup>th</sup>,
2009</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">In my Manager’s room:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“So Akshay Srinivas…”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yes sir.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I went through your profile. Pretty impressive. Your
previous Manager had nothing but words of praise for you.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Thank you sir.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Since you know everything about the company and the plant
is an exact replica of the Kakinada plant, I don’t think you require a formal
Induction. I’ll introduce you to your team members and you can start work right
away.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Sure sir.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He called someone on the phone.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A couple of minutes later, she walked in. THAT moment! How I
wish I could undo a few things now in my life!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Akshay, this is Gayathri. She’s also an Assistant Manager
here. She’ll show you around the plant and introduce you to your teammates.
Gayathri, this is Akshay. He has been transferred from our Kakinada plant.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hi”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hi”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The next 1 hour was spent in going around the plant and
meeting people. She had an air about herself that I did not like. She had this
small attitude that I hated. I learnt that she was 6 months junior to me in the
organization. She also graduated in Engineering in the same year as I, in 2007,
from another college in the city. She instructed me around the plant and I
hated it. I hated her.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is said that it’s ok if you like a girl when you meet her
for the first time. But if you hate her, it’s trouble, my dear brother. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was to realize this later.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">December 31<sup>st</sup>,
2009:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was sitting in office lazing around as my work was done.
Gayathri walked in. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hi Akshay, done with your work? Not going home?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Will leave now.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She peeped in to my laptop.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh, Facebook? Nice. Give me a Friend Request.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With that, she typed her name: Gayathri Ganesh and gave a
friend request herself from my account.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Good. We can chat via FB now. I’ll ping you. See you then.
Happy New Year!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was least interested. God, I hate her! Why do you do this to
me God?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">January 9<sup>th</sup>
2010:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I sat in my home and typed in my Registration No. The
website read catiim.in</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The marks appeared.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
83.18</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Gosh! WTF! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I stared at the screen in disbelief for some time. It’s all
over. Another failure in CAT!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I went to the office with a dejected face. I noticed
Gayathri sitting there with a forlorn face. She noticed me and asked why I
looked dejected. I tried to hide my face and said that it was nothing. I asked
her the same question. She looked at me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I wrote CAT exam and the results have come. That’s why”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Really? I am dejected because of the same reason.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I don’t know if you should get dejected at all. I got just
86 percentile.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well, I got only 83”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That cheered her up a little. She smiled. Now there was
something common to the 2 of us – CAT. Well, she’s not as bad as I thought she
was.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">February 2<sup>nd</sup>
2010:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I got a message in my phone at 8 PM. “Come to Facebook chat”
it said.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I logged in to FB. Never a fan of the chat feature, I
reluctantly logged in. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hi Akshay” she pinged.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hi Gayu” Everyone in our team called her Gayu. So I also
started calling her that.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Congrats on the Quiz win. You were brilliant today.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“How did you know Gayu?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I was there in the audience. You would not have noticed.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
………</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The chat lasted for over 2 hours. This was the first time I
have chatted this long anywhere online or using a phone. I sensed there was
something different happening. Also it was probably the first time anyone has
responded to me in a chat or SMS for this long. Well, she’s a nice girl, I
thought.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">March 25<sup>th</sup>
2010:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">At office: </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was about time for us to leave. My team members left and
I was sitting alone with Gayu. She struck a conversation. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Akshay, shall I ask you something?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Sure”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Are you preparing to take up CAT this year too?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yes”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Are you going for some classes?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No. I am just taking TIME Test series.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Nice. I am planning to do the same too. Shall we sit and
study for sometime in the evenings if that’s ok with you?’</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Sure. No problem at all.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Where are you aspiring to get into through CAT?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Where else? IIM-A. I could not do engineering from a top-notch
college. So I have to reverse that in PG. What about you?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Same. But I am more fascinated by IIM-B than A.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then, out of the blue, she asked me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Akshay, do you have a girlfriend?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No. What about you?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No. But I have to tell you this. Of the 5 boys in our team,
barring you and Nithin, the other 3 have proposed to me.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You mean the 3 Vs – Vivek, Vinay & Vishal?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yep.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was startled, but did not show it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That’s why I like Nithin. He’s like my best friend out
there. He’s closer to me than even Priya.”<br />
<br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="background-attachment: scroll; background-clip: border-box; background-image: none; background-origin: padding-box; background-position: 0% 0%; background-repeat: repeat; background-size: auto auto;">Priya
was the only other girl in our team apart from Gayu.</span></span></div>
</div>
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</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I smiled. I don’t know why, but when she said that about
Nithin, it really irked me inside.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">April 4<sup>th</sup>,
2010</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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I was sitting in a state of shock in the office. Gayu came
in. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What happened Akshay? You look shocked?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Gayu! Good that you came. I don’t know how to tell you. I went
to the boiler room now and went to the switch board at the far side facing the
wall. There… there...”</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What there?”</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“There I found Priya and Vishal kissing each other
passionately.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She was shocked too. But then she recovered quickly. “It’s
ok. Happens! Don’t worry about it. As long as they do their work properly and
as long as it doesn’t affect the team, don’t worry about it.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
By then Nithin walked in and he playfully pinched Gayu. She
went around chasing him and they played like kids in my presence. It really
irked me. By then, I was starting to think of Gayu as a very nice girl.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">May 2<sup>nd</sup>
2010:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Gayathri and I were sitting in the office revising some CAT
notes. We both felt a little bored and she asked me to put some songs in my
laptop for relaxation. I opened my audio library and from nowhere, Lady Gaga
popped up. She got interested in Gaga and asked me what did Gaga stand for?</div>
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<br /></div>
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Till then, it never occurred to me. I told her that it did
not stand for anything. Then it struck me suddenly. I wrote on her notebook: Ga
Ga – Gayathri Ganesh. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She mockingly hit me with a notebook.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I laughed at her.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“This is the perfect name for you. Let everyone call you
Gayu. I don’t care. Henceforth, I’ll call you Gaga”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Noooooo!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yesssss!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And thus I started calling her Gaga.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">In May and June 2010:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We carried on with our routine and Gaga & I became very
good friends. We used to finish our work and before leaving, we used to sit and
study for CAT every day for an hour or so. This helped us a lot as we started
scoring well in the mock tests.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She was close to Nithin as usual and they used to go out for
lunch together sometimes. Even in office, they found time for each other. This
used to irk me a lot.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t know why, but slowly I started detesting Nithin for
no apparent reason. His closeness with Gayu was unbearable for me. It used to
pain me a lot.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So one day in June, when we were out somewhere, I casually
asked him if there was something going on between him and Gayu. He did not give
a direct reply, but I got the indication that he was actually looking for
something more from her.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A couple of days later, I met Gayu and asked the same
question.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Gayu, can I ask you something?’</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Tell me Akshay”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Is there something going on between you and Nithin?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Ha ha ha :-D No Akshay. We’re good friends. That’s all.
What made you think so? I understand others asking me this. But you Akshay?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m sorry. Sometimes it’s better to ask and get things
clarified. That’s why I asked. Are you sure that there’s nothing more at all.
Does he also think the same way?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yeah, I am sure. I don’t have anything more than a friendly
feel for him. What made you think that I’d have feelings for him? If at all
there’s someone I could hypothetically develop feelings for in our office, it’d
be you.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“WHAT??”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Relax. I said hypothetical. I’ll never fall for anyone
here. None of them have the tastes that could connect with me.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What do you mean by that?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I mean nobody here likes the things that I like. I have an
eclectic taste in music, food, books, sports, etc. I don’t see that in anyone
here. So it won’t be possible for me to connect with any of them. That’s what I
meant. By the way, why do you ask this question and why are you so curious? Are
you jealous of my closeness to Nithin, eh?” She winked.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No. I just got a feeling that you may be all innocent, but
please do remember that Nithin is a normal guy. He may have feelings too. You
play around with him, you spend time with him, you talk to him in phone for
long, you chat with him online, etc. It’s natural that he may develop feelings
for you and think of you as more than a friend. Just wanted to tell you that.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Ha ha :-D Guys may be like that, but Nithin is not like
that. He’s a very good friend. I know how to handle him. Please don’t talk to
me about this again.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m sorry. I’ll drop this topic.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">July 3<sup>rd</sup>
2010:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was about 7.30 PM. I was working late on a pending work.
I got a call from her asking me to come to an ice-cream parlour near her house.
I was surprised. She was not the kind who would go out for dinner and desserts
with friends. Except Nithin, maybe. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I went to the ice cream parlour. She was sitting alone. She
looked very dull. I asked her why.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You were right Akshay. I was wrong about Nithin” She said
so with tears in her eyes.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Calm down Gaga! Tell me what happened.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Apparently, she went out in the evening with Nithin to a
coffee shop it seems. He expressed his feelings for her and proposed to her. I
was not surprised at all.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You know how shocked I was! I shouted at him and left the
place.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had half a mind to laugh. But I controlled it and just
smiled.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What are you smiling at? You know how upset I am?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Relax Gayu. I told you this could happen. And come on. I am
sure you can handle it.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Don’t mock at me. You guys! You’re all the same. You know
how much I trusted Nithin as a friend? I never thought he would do this to me.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Come on Gayu! Don’t behave as though he had committed some
unforgivable crime. All he did was express his feelings for you. Now that
you’ve made it clear to him that you do not feel the same way about him, just
forget it. He’ll understand. Don’t make it look like a bigger problem than what it
really is.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I sat there talking to her and consoling her for the next 20
minutes. When I felt that she had become normal, I bade her goodbye and left
the place.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That night, she chatted with me on Facebook. Apparently, some
self doubts had crept into her mind. She asked me if there was any problem with
the way she behaved with guys. I had to reassure her that things were fine.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Strangely, I felt a sense of calmness that night that I had
not felt over the previous couple of months. Nithin was out of the way. I felt
happy. (Continued in Part 2 ...)<br />
<br />
<i>To read Part 2, click <a href="http://ashwinmurali.blogspot.in/2014/04/gaga-chronicles-part-2-happiness.html">here</a>.</i><br />
<br />
- Ashwin Murali </div>
</div>
Ashmurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07492523564262055217noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1411284539406341094.post-582853611768939252013-09-07T20:08:00.000+05:302013-09-07T20:08:02.360+05:30From Ainavaram to IIM: A true life story<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Disclaimer:</b> This is my story and I reserve the right to say it the
way I like. So I have nothing to disclaim about. This is essentially a
non-disclaimer.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Warning:</b> This is a very long post. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Note:</b> If you’re an IIT or an IIM aspirant, I’d suggest you better
not read this. If you still want to read it, I’d like you to treat this as a
story. Nothing more, nothing less. It’s neither meant to dishearten you, nor is
it meant to inspire you. But if it does, don’t blame me. Either way, it’s a
story. A real one nevertheless.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Another Note:</b> If you’re someone who’s close to me and knows me
well, you’d know this already for you’d have seen me through this. It’s up to
you whether you wanna read it or not.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
First of all, let me begin with a
small confession. The word “Ainavaram” in the title has no connection to this
story. I know Ainavaram to be a place in Chennai. Neither have I been to
Ainavaram nor do I have any clue as to what it looks like. I have just heard
the name and it struck me when I was thinking of a title for this post. You
have those newbie authors giving fancy title to their works to garner
attention. So there you go. I’m guilty too :-)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The smooth sailing, the
smart kid and the bright student:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></b>Well, the sailing was smooth. Up
to a certain point. I was one of those chirpy kids who get labeled as smart and
bright at a very young age. Started quizzing as early as third standard and the
inquisitive nature never stopped me. The urge to learn new things led me to
read a lot and a smart kid was born. This kid kept building on his strengths
and made a mark for himself at the school level. Academically too, I performed
well, finishing among the top three of the class always. As a student and a
school going kid, it was a relatively smooth sailing for me with the path
dotted with many laurels along the way.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The high point:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></b>Every journey has to peak at some
point. For me, it happened in 10<sup>th</sup> standard. I scored 1025 out of
1100 marks (93.2 percent) in my Board Exams and finished third in the school. More
plaudits followed and I was hailed as this kid who’s headed for a great
destiny. I was soaking in the limelight and was sailing among the clouds for
sometime. I didn’t know what lay ahead then.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The big mistake: the
IIT Dream Factory </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Somewhere along the way in my
journey, my dad happened to mention the three letters to me. The three letters
that could change my life forever; or so, I thought. IIT. Today it’s so popular
with the advent of 24X7 media, but back then, about 10 years ago, it was not as
popular as it is now. So when you see a bright young kid winning laurels and
making a mark in every field, it’s only natural that you suggest him a place
that would fulfill his true potential. That was how IIT came into my life. I dreamt
about IIT, I longed to be a part of it. That was where my heart was back then.
A senior from school had cracked the IIT with an All India Rank of 31 and made it
to IIT Madras. He became my role model by default. My food, my drink, my sleep,
all resonated the three words – IIT. It started as a passion. Became an
obsession. I joined the only centre providing coaching for IIT – JEE back then
in Coimbatore. I joined all the Correspondence courses that I could think of. I
studied every day. Sometimes every night. I thought I was on the right track. I
thought I had it in me. What I failed to realize then was that my efforts then
were merely a fraction of the efforts one would require to put in to get into
an IIT. I fooled myself into thinking that I had it me, that I could make it. I
didn’t realize that staying in Coimbatore, I hardly had any exposure that one
would ideally require to make it to an IIT. In this relentless pursuit, my
academics began to suffer. I failed for the first time in my life in 11<sup>th</sup>
standard Half-yearly exams. I failed in Physics, a subject that I liked. I was
devastated. But like with so many things, it’s the first time that hurts. Not
afterwards. I failed again in 12<sup>th</sup> standard Quarterly and
Half-yearly exams. This time in Chemistry and Mathematics. I hated Chemistry
but I loved Maths. Yet here I was, failing in all three subjects that I was
supposed to ace in order to get into an IIT. I was clueless. I was helpless. I
didn’t know what to do. In school, I was hiding from the teachers who taught me
till 10<sup>th</sup> for all they know was that Ashwin was a bright student. I
didn’t want them to see this face of Ashwin. This guy who was a failure. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
On the one hand, I believed that
I could make it to the IIT even though my preparation on that front dropped significantly.
On the other hand, I needed to get serious about my academics, lest I fail in
my 12<sup>th</sup> Standard. The onus was completely on me for I was this
stubborn kid who refused to take up tuitions even when all other students in my
class went for tuitions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I decided to
give this IIT business a break and concentrate on my Academics. So for the next
2 months, I studied and started passing the subjects. But in a state as
competitive as Tamilnadu, a pass would get me nowhere. I had to be in the top
brass – 95% and above. I did try hard and gave it my best in the exams. But the
results were a big letdown.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The worst phase:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I still remember the day very
clearly – 22<sup>nd</sup> of May, 2006. Probably the worst day in my
professional life. I got the results. I passed. I scored 1058 out of 1200 (88
percent). Normally any kid would be happy with that score. But in the
environment that I grew up in, that score was a disaster. Being a General
category student in Tamilnadu, that score was next to nothing. It was as though
my whole world came crashing down. My home bore a look as though it was in a
state of mourning that day. Phone calls kept coming in. None of them were
congratulatory. It was all commiserations. My parents graciously took
responsibility for my failure saying that it was their mistake that they did
not guide me properly. I was heartbroken. They trusted me and gave me
everything that I asked for and yet I failed them. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Soon, all entrance exam results
followed and as expected, I did not clear any – be it IIT or AIEEE or other
tests. Panic struck and in a state of desperation, I was enrolled into a B.Sc.
Computer Science course in one of the prestigious Arts & Science Colleges
in the city as the Engineering admissions were more than a month away and I
faced the real possibility of ending up in a third-rate Engineering college. So
I went to this BSc course for a month. People around me were all happy for they
had made it to the best college in the city but I could not take it. Here I
was, dreaming of getting into IIT only a couple of months back and yet here I
am. I hid from everyone back then. From friends, from relatives, from my
teachers, from everyone. I didn’t want them to look and sympathize with me. It
was probably the worst phase of my life. Engineering admissions happened and I
got admission to a decent college in the city. It wasn’t a great college, but
it wasn’t bad either. Somehow, I mustered up the courage to come out of my
hiding and tell everyone that I got admission to so and so college in the city. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The vow:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Still the IIT dreams hadn’t left
me. I was floating the idea of giving IIT again. I could not bear the fact that
I was doing Engineering from an ordinary college when all my friends were in
better colleges. Once I was arrogant enough to reply that I won’t look at
anything other than IIT when a person suggested the names of Anna University or
PSG Tech. On the first day of Engineering, our HOD told us “What you do in the
next 4 years will determine how your next 40 years are going to be like.” I
took his words seriously.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even though I
had one eye on giving the IIT again, I vowed that it should not let my
Academics suffer at any cost. I worked diligently. As a result, I topped my
class in the first year of Engineering. Though I gave IIT again, I knew the
result beforehand for I hardly put in any effort. I accepted that this was my
college and this is where I had to shape my destiny from.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The Redemption: </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The next 3 years saw me redeem
myself to my past glory. I started going out to competitions and started
winning prizes too. Quiz was my forte and I did not miss any quiz in the city.
I was not ashamed of my college anymore. I realized that it was something
psychological and it was my own creation. I realized that people saw me for who
I was, not for my college. Yet I learnt to feel proud of my college and declare
that I was from Sri Ramakrishna Institute of Technology (SRIT). My school
friends stood by me. We were a closely knit group of six people and we had
absolutely no ego. We did not care about others’ colleges or other aspects. My
quiz partner was one of them. He ensured that he invited me as his partner for
every quiz in the city despite the fact that he was from a prestigious college
in the city and had better quizzers there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>For the six of us, college hardly mattered. We were the same buddies
from school. The world of quizzing introduced me to some of the best people
that I have ever known. There was this quizzer from PSG Tech, the most
prestigious college in the city, who wrote how people judge him based on his
college and how it should not matter if he was from PSG Tech or some XYZ Engg. College.
It’s the person that mattered, not the college. Reading that gave me fresh
vigour. Now it did not matter to me if I was from IIT or SRIT. Infact during
this period, I visited IIT 3 to 4 times and realized that the people studying
there were mere mortals too. I revered the students there the first time I
visited the campus. The reverence slowly wore off as I began to realize that
they were just like me. Infact, I was better than some of them in certain
aspects. It’s just because of the fact that they had managed to clear an
entrance exam that I could not, they were here and I was elsewhere.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I did well academically too
during this phase and landed a good job with Vedanta Resources. My redemption
was complete when I was awarded 2 gold medals for being the Best Outgoing
student of my college and for being the Department topper. Ashwin Murali was no
longer the guy who fared badly in 12<sup>th</sup> standard but a gold
medallist.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The next dream factory:
IIM</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
When I failed to clear the IIT
for the second time, somewhere in my mind I decided to target the other dream
factory, namely the IIMs. I started preparing for the CAT from the third year
of college onwards. Though I was focused on my preparation, it lacked the
intensity that one would require to clear the CAT. As a result, I ended up with
an 84.5 percentile score in my first attempt. Since I had a job in hand, it did
not bother me much and I went to work with Vedanta Resources in Jharsuguda,
Odisha. I gave CAT again, this time with no preparation and ended up with a
score of 89 odd percentile. Though it was good, I knew with some more effort, I
could hit a 98-99 percentile and target my dream factory. So I started again.
In the months that followed my joining Vedanta, I grew really homesick and
started cribbing a lot. I’m really thankful to the people who had to put up
with me during that phase. I was lucky to have had an excellent bunch of people
around me back then, who motivated me enough to take up CAT again. This was
going to be my third and hopefully last attempt at CAT, provided I made it to
an IIM. I studied hard juggling work and studies. I used to sit and take a mock
CAT after a tired day’s work. Though I tried hard, I knew there was something
lacking. Still I gave CAT hoping that I could improve on my 89 percentile score
from the previous year. Within 20 days of giving my CAT, I was transferred to a
plant in Tuticorin. I checked my CAT results from Tuticorin . 83 percentile. I
was devastated. Three attempts at CAT and all three were unsuccessful. It was a
throwback to the IIT preparation days again. I didn’t know what to do. I
decided to concentrate on the work in hand.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The next 4 months in the
Tuticorin plant were the hardest that I have ever worked in my life. My job was
so hectic that I hardly had any time to think about CAT, leave alone, study for
it. It was April 2012 and I knew that I had had enough. Though I was performing
well on the job front, I was not enjoying it. I had to do something about it. I
thought hard and bravely, I put in my papers. I went to T.I.M.E. Coimbatore and
spoke with the Director who I hardly knew back then. He looked at my past CAT
scores and was kind enough to offer me a Faculty job in the area of Logical
Reasoning & Data Interpretation after seeing that I had scored in the high
90s consistently in that area in all my three previous CAT attempts.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The final push: the
T.I.M.E. journey:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The one year that I spent at
T.I.M.E. was one of the most fruitful periods of my life. I learnt so many
things about life during that period. You can read about it <a href="http://ashwinmurali.blogspot.in/2013/07/my-time-time.html">here.</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
After joining T.I.M.E., I made up
my mind to give it my all for it’s going to be now or never. I can’t keep
postponing my higher studies any longer for age was catching up with me. Within
days of joining TIME, I realized that I had to work extra hard for my
colleagues were all a step ahead of me for they had been in TIME longer. I
slogged real hard for the next two months. I slogged day and night. Slowly my
mock CAT scores started improving and I caught up with my colleagues and
eventually I overtook them. That was when I started relaxing a bit for I felt
contented as my mock CAT scores were soaring high.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I now believe that when you’re
competing for something, it’s never ok to feel completely contented. The moment
you feel that is the moment your efforts take a backseat. That’s exactly what
happened to me. A month before the CAT, I grew confident and was contented and
this slackened my preparation. Still I gave CAT and this time, I scored 97
percentile. I knew that I could have scored 99 had my preparation not
slackened, yet it was a big relief for me. This score meant that I was going to
end up in some good college if not an IIM.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Soon I followed it up with scores of 98 percentile in SNAP and a 95
percentile in XAT.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Four days after my CAT results, I
got an interview call from IIM Kashipur. I was overjoyed. Even with a 97
percentile score, it was still possible to get an IIM call. Probably my work
experience helped me there. Though it was a call from the newest IIM, it was
still an IIM – a dream factory and that’s all that mattered to me. There were
also calls from other good colleges like MDI Gurgaon, XIMB, Symbiosis, IMT
Ghaziabad, IIT Roorkee, IIT Kanpur and a couple of other colleges. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The next one month was spent
travelling around the country giving interviews at various locations. I did
fairly well in all interviews and got admits to all the colleges except MDI
Gurgaon where I was placed in the waitlist. But I was not worried about these.
I knew my big prize was waiting. The IIM results got delayed and I kept waiting.
Finally the results came and I was wait-listed. Disappointment. But I was
hopeful of making it in the second list which was due in 5 days for the IIM
interview was probably the best interview that I gave in the entire season. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Joining XIMB and the
good news:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
By now I had decided after
detailed research that I’d be joining XIMB if IIM doesn’t come through. The
second list came and I was again in the waitlist. Disappointment<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>again. I didn’t know what to do for the date
for joining XIMB was getting nearer. With a heavy heart, I decided to bid
goodbye to my IIM dreams and join XIMB. I went and joined XIMB, by which time
the third list had also come and I was wait-listed in that too. I started
liking XIMB and took to the place so much that I even forgot to check the
fourth list. In the evening, I opened my mail casually to find a mail from IIM
Kashipur saying that I had been admitted. I didn’t know how to react then. It
didn’t sink in then. Then slowly I realized. Realized that here was the dream
factory, the place I longed to be in for 6 years and I have finally made it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The next one week was packed with
frantic activities – withdrawing from XIMB, vacating my hostel, booking tickets
for Kashipur, Medical tests, etc. The journey has almost always been frantic
for me. I’m used to it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The dream realized:
Just the beginning</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Finally I arrived at IIM Kashipur
on June 29<sup>th</sup>, 2013. A dream was realized. The redemption was
complete. But my experience had taught me that this was just the beginning. The
Director’s speech echoed the same sentiments – “ How you make use of these 2
years would determine where you end up?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sounds familiar? ;-) Time to start all over again :-)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Some Insights:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Looking back, through all these
travails, my parents were a huge support for me. They stood by me through thick
and thin. So did my brother who believed in me when nobody else did. Then I had
this wonderful bunch of friends from school and a small group of friends from
college. I also had an excellent group of people around me at Vedanta. Not to
mention my favourite gang from TIME. I would be no one but for these people. So
my first insight is to surround yourself with the right people and your job is
half-done.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I heard a young speaker in a recent
TEDx convention say this: “Everyone has an ego. At some point, your ego gets
hit. The sooner it gets hit, the better for you.” Mine got hit in 11<sup>th</sup>
standard. What was till then an infallible impression, got shattered overnight. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I learnt this important lesson in
college – You’re inferior to none and you’re superior to none. The moment you
think of yourself as superior to someone is the moment you start losing.
Similarly the moment you start thinking of yourself as inferior to someone is
the moment you start giving up.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Finally, I’m a firm believer in
the immortal words of Swami Vivekananda – “You are the creator of your own
destiny.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Go ahead and create your
destiny!! All the best !!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
- Ashwin Murali</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b>PS:</b> I wanted this story to be
told for a long time for there could be many out there who might feel like
giving up at different points of time. I hope they carve out a path for
themselves and realize their dreams.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b>PPS:</b> Since it’s a real life
story, you may have sensed a bit of emotion here and there and I may have
unconsciously dramatized certain things. Forgive me if that was the case
anywhere.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Ashmurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07492523564262055217noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1411284539406341094.post-16655542052780875812013-07-21T12:48:00.000+05:302013-07-21T12:49:33.595+05:30My time @ T.I.M.E. <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Warning:</b> The following post is a boring, monotonous,
sleep-inducing write-up by an insomniac on how he spent a year as a teacher at
an institute and the meaningful/meaningless stuff he gathered along the way. If
you are bored already, read no further. This one’s not for you. The next post could
be. For the rest, it’s your call. I’ve warned you<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> already ;-) :-)</span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"></span></span>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hello folks, am back again. My last blog post was one of the
most satisfying in a lot of ways for it did seem to make sense to a lot of
people. Happy :-)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Coming to the part
about what has been going on in my life for the past few months, well, I really
don’t know where to begin and where do I take it from. To cut a long story
short, I realized my dream of 6 years (i.e.) to get into an IIM. :-) Yeah. I am a
student of IIM Kashipur now and let’s deal with that part -about my journey to
an IIM, later. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let’s now concentrate on what led to this - <b>my time at TIME.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b> </b> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let me just put this as briefly as I can. I finished
Engineering, got placed and landed a job with Vedanta Resources. I was posted
in Jharsuguda, Odisha. Despite initial hiccups, I began to like that place and
started enjoying my job. That’s when I was transferred to a Copper Smelter unit
in Tuticorin and things got worse. To put it in a nutshell, I didn’t like my
job at Tuticorin and I quit in just 6 months. I took up a job as a Faculty/Trainer
at TIME Coimbatore. How I got that job? Well, I still don’t know, but I’m
grateful to my former boss, the TIME director, for giving me the job. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My time at TIME lasted one full year starting from June
2012, all the way till May 2013. Looking back, I couldn’t have had a better
time anywhere else and I mean it. What an amazing experience it was!! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I realized... </b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This period saw me transform from a serious, studious,
introverted geek to a zestful, extroverted dude. My entire outlook changed.
Some of my firm beliefs were shaken. My ego took a beating on many an occasion.
I discovered that I had an emotional side. I realized that I could be
incredibly boring at times. And I also found out that there were people who
even liked this boring part of me. I realized that I had a philosopher residing
within me. I found out that it doesn’t take much to forge a great
friendship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I realized that people are
very unique and different by default. I saw how insecure and doubtful can some people
be. I realized that I could act incredibly stupid at times and yet feel ok
about it. I realized that in a comfortable setting, I can just be myself
without worrying about anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I realized that I really enjoyed teaching at times. I came
to know that there were people who really enjoyed my classes. I realized that
girls are normal beings too ;-) :-) I realized that I could be close friends with a
girl. But I also realized that some girls can be really crazy at times. I
doubted like Einstein did – Am I the one who’s crazy or is everyone else crazy? :-P ;-)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I realized that there was a spiritual side to me. I realized
that there can be bosses who are extremely nice and extremely efficient at the
same time. I rediscovered my love for poetry. I gave myself a pen-name which is
known only to a select few. I realized that there could be people following me
as a role model without even me realizing. I realized that I need to set a good
example for them. I also realized that at such times, you need to be your true
self rather than being pretentious.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>I realized that it’s
very wrong to judge a person unless you know them really well. I realized that
a lot of people had aspects linked to their personality that was preventing
them from being their true self. I gave out a lot of advice. I realized that I
did so out of care and sincerity, but also realized that people may not like
it. I realized the true meaning of the words “Silence is Golden”. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I realized that it’s impossible to satisfy all the people
all the time. I realized that friends are invaluable. I realized that solitude
is not always fun. I realized that an idle mind is truly a devil’s workshop. I
realized that most people are fickle. I realized that I’m fickle too. A person
could be everything to you one day; you may not even remember him/her the next
day. I realized that the world as such is very temporary. Nothing is permanent
and everything changes.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I realized that a single negative thought could spoil your
day. I also realized that a positive thought spreads happiness to everyone
around. I realized that certain people make me feel very comfortable that I
could talk anything when they are around. I realized that mind is the master
and as long as you have it under control, everything will be fine. I realized
that it’s a blessing to have a sane head and a balanced mind. I also realized
that not everyone had that. I realized that I had feministic views about
certain things. I also realized that not everyone had an open mind to take it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>I realized that music
is the best tonic for the soul. I realized that I liked talking about music.
I realized that I did know something about Carnatic music. I realized that I
could play the keyboard quite well.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I realized that I can really care for others more than I cared
for myself. I also realized that it’s foolish to expect anything you do, to be
reciprocated. I realized that some people could be really strange. I realized
that there could be weird characters in perfectly sane individuals. I realized
that I could be really patient, especially with friends. I realized that I could
get really sensitive at times. I realized that emotions make me weak, but I also
realized that a man is nothing without the emotions.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I realized that when you love your work, you don’t think of
it as work. I realized that I could score incredibly well in Verbal. I also
realized that I could perform miserably in Quants, at times. I realized that I
could get supremely confident at times and people could easily mistake it as
arrogance.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>I realized that I
could get addicted to texting and Whatsapp. I realized that some dreams could
get shattered just like that. I realized that I had good inter-personal skills.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Most importantly, I realized that you get what you deserve
based on the effort that you put in, despite the fact that luck plays a small
part. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are so many other things
that I learnt at TIME, but let’s end it here lest it becomes too boring, even
for me :-P </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To end it, simply put, I realized that I am what I am for
that’s what I am and I am this individual called Ashwin Murali.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When asked in an IIM interview as to what I did over the
past few months at TIME apart from studying and teaching, I answered that I
utilized that time to reflect on myself. The panelists were surprised but
didn’t question me further. Now reading what I had written in this post, I can
definitely say that I did introspect well and I have done a fair job of
reflecting myself. A person who served as a mirror for me would vouch for that.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And before I wrap up, let me just thank a few people, but
for whom, nothing would have been possible over the past year.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Subbu sir</b> - my boss and TIME Coimbatore Director. Nothing would
have been possible but for his confidence in us and support. I owe it to you
sir. I don't think I could ever find a boss like him :-)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Rajesh Sir:</b> More of a friend than a teacher. Sponsored a cup
of coffee for us daily. Had some unforgettable times with him at TIME. Also the
person who helped me keep in touch with Hindi, which, believe me, is helping me
tremendously right now. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Srividya:</b> A teacher turned friend. Well, she has been a
friend all along but the past few months helped me interact with her the same
way as I would with any of my close friends. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One person who can inspire and encourage you
in times of need. Easily the most eloquent teacher that I ever had. There’s so
much more to say, but you know all that Srivi <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"> :-)</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Prabhakaran sir:</b> One word. Genius. Thank you sir.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Kamala Ma’am:</b> Wonderful teacher. Thank you Ma’am.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Thresia Ma’am, Thelma Ma’am, Dominic Sir, Murugesh Anna and other
TIME staff:</b> Well, TIME wouldn’t be TIME without them. Thank you all. :-)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>My students who became great friends:</b> To Sidhu, Ashwin Nair,
Dhinesh Karthik, Dinesh (TNAU, IIM L), Aishu, Miki, Manoj, Viji, Ranjini,
Manasa and Ram, thank you guys. Can’t imagine the year gone by without you all.
Enough said already I guess <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">:-)</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Cynthia:</b> One of the most amazing persons I met during my
time at TIME. Great friend. You already know everything else that I could say.
Thank you Cynthia <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"> :-)</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Shyam:</b> My TIME journey started with him. One of the best
persons that I had ever met. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again,
spoken enough. Thank you da <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">:-)</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Shivaguru: </b>Redefines everything. Again, enough said. Thanks
da <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">:-)</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Roshni:</b> She was the real ‘roshni’ of TIME. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Guess that sums up everything. She knows
everything else that I’d probably say. Thank you Rosh <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">:-)</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well, that’s it for now. My next post isn’t far away for I
have this strong urge to write more and more. Hope time permits <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">:-)</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cheers <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">:-)</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Ashwin Murali</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</div>
Ashmurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07492523564262055217noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1411284539406341094.post-63915328189264664752013-04-10T22:28:00.000+05:302013-04-10T22:28:41.539+05:30What’s in a Name?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: large;">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">Hello all, am back again <span>:-)</span>
The month gone by has been very eventful with lots of travel and it brought its
own share of good news <span>:-) </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span><br /></span></span></span></div>
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</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">Coming to this post, I’m sure we all would have come across
this question – What’s in a name?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span></span>I am asking you the
same – What’s in a name? </span></span></div>
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</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">Well, so many things. First of all, how are we named? Do we
know the meaning of our names? <span> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">There’s more to it than meets the eye.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">Gone are the days when the child is named after the
grandparent. Today we have people scouting for unique names for their children.
Their efforts have borne fruit too for today we have kids with very unique
names.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">When we look into the names, we only see how it sounds. We
don’t really look into its meaning. Every name has to mean something. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">Really?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">Oh, yeah!</span></span></div>
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</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">Until a year ago, I really didn’t know what my name really
meant. I knew that I was named “Ashwin”, ‘cause I was born on the day of “Ashwini”
star according to the Tamil Calendar. So I thought that my name means the
Ashwini star. That was when I chanced upon this book called “The Penguin Book
of Hindu Names” by Maneka Gandhi in an airport. Curiously, I turned the pages
to see if my name was present. It was and that was when I got to know the
actual meaning of my name. It means “a person who rides on the back of a horse” <span>:-)</span> I am pretty sure that
my parents didn’t know that too when they named me <span>:-)</span> <span></span>Well, it was some sort of a revelation for me.
That’s when I started to look into what names meant. Some names are
straightforward in meaning like Surya, Aditya, Roshni, etc. Whereas some names
have a<span> </span>meaning that could be made out
from the name itself. Eg. “Anamika” means a person with no name <span>:-)</span> Funny <span>:-)</span> There are also names
like Ashwin where the meaning is not apparent in the name but hidden within in
the language of origin (Sanskrit in this case) <span>:-)</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><span style="line-height: 115%;">Surname:</span></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">While there’s no trouble with the names, it’s the surname
that’s a real cause for concern. In our country, it so happens that in 75-80 pc
of the cases, the surname reveals more than what’s necessary or to put it
differently, it gives away the bio-data of a person. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">Casteism is a big bane in our country. And in most parts of
the country, it’s the caste name that is taken as a surname. Be it a Patel or a
Sharma or a Menon or a Dutt or a Banerjee, they’re all caste names. So as soon
as you hear the full name of a person, you can make out which part of the
country he/she’s from, which caste he/she belongs to, what were their ancestors
like, whether they’re from the so-called forward community or the oppressed
classes, what their characteristic traits will be like, etc.<span> </span>I am not exaggerating in any way. It’s true
that our country has been divided on these lines to such a great extent that
people can judge you so much just by knowing your caste and their task is made
simpler if your name gives it away. </span></span></div>
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</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">In that sense, I do feel proud that I belong to a state
where this practice has been done away with. Yes, in Tamilnadu, that system is
non-existent. Gone were the days when you could find a Periasamy Thevar or a
Velu Naicker or a Chinnappa Gounder loitering down the streets. Yes. Even now
they are present but they <span> </span>must all be
over <span> </span>50 years of age. No youngster in
Tamilnadu these days is given a caste name as his/her surname. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span></div>
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</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">This being the case, I find it peculiar why certain
youngsters especially from the so-called forward castes take pride in attaching
their caste names as their surnames. Please don’t mistake me. I belong to one
such so-called forward castes <span> </span>too and it
really pains me to see when people, that too youngsters, doing this with pride. </span></span></div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
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</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">Once back when I was in Orissa, I explained to a colleague
with pride that in my state, people don’t attach their caste names to their
names. All it took for him was to scan through my Facebook friends list and
prove me wrong. And believe it or not, all the people he pointed out to prove
me wrong were all people from the so-called forward castes who had attached
their caste names as their surnames. And worse still was the fact that many of
them did not have their caste names attached in their official names but took
pride in doing so very openly for the world to see in Facebook. I really don’t understand
why. Be it a Niranjan Iyengar or a Varshini Iyer or a Mahalakshmi Iyer, I only
found these so-called forward caste people doing this. I could not find a single
Rajesh Gounder or a Sandeep Thevar or a Prakash Chettiar anywhere online or
offline.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">Again, don’t mistake me. As I said, I belong to one of those so-called
forward castes and the pain I felt when I realized that it was my own brethren
who were doing this in an otherwise model state in this aspect, is what is
making me say all this even if it’s been more than a year since that day.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span></div>
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</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">So my request to every one of you, irrespective of who you
are, is that please refrain from giving a caste name to your ward’s name. If
you’ve been officially named with your caste name, nothing can be done but you
can limit the use of your surname atleast.</span></span></div>
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<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">For fellow youngsters who have attached their caste names to
their names, please stop doing so. It’s not a matter of pride to let the world
know of your caste that too through your name. There is absolutely no pride in
showcasing your caste, no matter whichever the so-called high caste you belong
to. No caste is high or low. And let me tell you that broadcasting your caste
to the world is not going to earn you any brownie points but it will only make
everyone look down upon you as a casteist. Casteism is one of the prime ills of
our society and to get rid of it, we youngsters should lead the way. Never mind
what the person next to you is doing. You can be the change. You can show the
way. Let the generations to come atleast refrain from using their caste
identity in their everyday life. </span></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><span style="line-height: 115%;">The Naming System:</span></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span></div>
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</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">In Tamilnadu, we follow this practice of giving an initial
to the actual name of the child. The initial is usually the first letter of the
father’s name. Now increasingly the first letter of the mother’s name is also
being used as initial.</span></span></div>
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<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span></div>
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</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">But a more pragmatic approach of naming a child would be to
attach the parent’s name to the child’s name. This is the standard approach
that has been followed throughout the globe. <span> </span>If named that way, then there would be no
confusion when the child’s passport is being issued. Thanks to Facebook, more
and more people are starting to follow this practice of naming. <span> </span>And I have to thank my parents who were
intelligent and futuristic enough to think and name me that way. In “Ashwin
Murali”, Ashwin is my name and Murali is my dad’s name. There were quite a few
people in my school who were named this way like Chandrashekar Anand or
Aishvarya Ananth. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
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</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">When I was in Orissa, people used to ask me if I belong to a
caste called “Murali” and I used to answer in the negative and explain the
naming system in Tamilnadu to them with pride. My pride took a hit on that
particular day. Sigh. Ever since that day, I could not explain with the same
pride knowing that there are people who atleast on the outset, look casteist. </span></span></div>
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<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span></div>
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</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">A confusion may arise as to why only the father’s name. No
issues there. It’s perfectly normal to attach the mother’s name too and people
have started doing that. </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span></div>
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</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">And staying on the topic of mother, the obvious question
next would be about women taking their husband’s name for a surname. Not at all
necessary, I say. It’s completely a matter of choice and I am definitely
against women changing their official names in the records. Here again I’d cite
the example of my mom who retained her official name in all records. It’s only
in Facebook that she has my dad’s name attached to her name and that again is a
matter of personal choice.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span> </span>I recently spoke to a
friend (a senior) who got married. I asked him about his wife’s changed name in
Facebook. He told me that he made it clear to her that he doesn’t want her
official name to be changed in anyway. But he had this long-cherished dream of
seeing his name attached to his wife’s name in Facebook<span> </span>and he spoke to her about it and requested
her to do so just for a month if she wishes. LOL. She readily obliged and even
though it’s been more than a month, the name has remained that way and when he
told her that she could revert to her old name, she gave him a stern look and
asked if that wouldn’t look odd to the world around. LOL. True indeed :-) Doing that now would
make people think that they have separated <span>:-)</span>
He realized that and left the matter to her and she’s perfectly happy with her
new name even if it’s only in Facebook. I realized that in this case,
everything was a matter of personal choice except that sheepish request that he
made initially. Cute couple they are <span>:-)</span></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">In another case, I remember a friend joking that his brother
would now change his name by attaching his wife’s name to his name now that he
got married <span>:-) </span>
LOL :-D Yes, that could happen a lot in the future too. Infact, I know a person
who has his wife’s name behind his name in Facebook. I even asked him once
about it and he calmly replied “What’s wrong in that? She’s everything for me
and it’s the least I could do to her even if it’s just Facebook.” <span>:-)</span><span> </span>Made perfect sense. <span> </span>Again a matter of choice <span>:-)</span></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">Let me finish with this one incident that I remember. When
the anti-reservation protests were happening in the country against the OBC
quota in higher educational institutions, all the students in IIT Kanpur
changed their surnames to “Bharat” (the country’s name) as they did not wish to
be divided along the lines of caste. Excellent, I felt.</span></span></div>
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</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">Guess that’s enough for now.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">I have refrained from dealing with caste-based naming system
in the rest of the country in this post as I felt that I require a deeper
understanding of the system there before I can talk about/condemn those. </span></span></div>
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</span></span></div>
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</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">It is for the same reason that I have refrained from talking
about the naming systems in other religions as it would not be appropriate for
me to talk about it unless I have a deeper understanding/affiliation.</span></span></div>
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</span></span></div>
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</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">Forgive me if you felt offended in any way reading this post
but understand that these are my humble opinions and I wish to talk straight
from the heart, <span> </span>atleast in my written
word. </span></span></div>
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</span></span></div>
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</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">Cheers <span>:-)</span></span></span></div>
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</span></span></div>
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</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">-Ashwin Murali</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span></div>
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</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Disclaimer:</b> The
views expressed in this post are strictly the author’s personal views and are
not intended to offend any particular caste/community/religion in any way. Also
the names used in this post are completely fictional and any resemblance to any
person dead/alive is purely coincidental.</span></span></div>
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<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>PS</b>: Chandrashekar and Aishvarya are the only real names that
I have used in this post. So Chandru or Aishu, if you read this, please don’t <span> </span>mind that I used your names without
permission. <span>:-)</span></span></span></div>
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<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</span></span></div>
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</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>PPS:</b> My future wife, whoever you are, <span> </span>let me assure you that I leave the naming
issue completely to your choice <span>J</span>
So let this not deter you in any way ;-) ;-) ;-) But please don’t change my
Facebook name, ok? ;-) ;-) <span></span><span>:-)</span></span></span> </div>
<br />
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</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span> </span><span> </span></span></span></div>
<br />
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</div>
Ashmurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07492523564262055217noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1411284539406341094.post-80857205300818170252013-02-18T08:26:00.000+05:302013-02-18T08:26:55.640+05:30A Significant Milestone in an Epic Journey<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It’s been a while, a month to be exact. A month since my
last blog post. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">But this one’s special, very special. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I should have posted this a couple of days ago but
couldn’t. Never mind. 2 days is no big deal in a journey that has been 25 years
old.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">An epic journey.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">If you’re still wondering, I am talking about my parents
who celebrated their 25<sup>th</sup> Wedding Anniversary on Feb 14<sup>th</sup>
(Thursday). A glorious Silver Jubilee. This post is dedicated to them and to
marriage in general.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">25 years ago, two semi-orthodox families came together
and decided to get their wards married. Their wards were nearing their thirties
and it was high time they got married. And so it happened. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">No marriage is without troubles. This was no different.
This young couple did not have a smooth start. They had to undergo turbulent
times for atleast a year until their son arrived. The very son who’s writing
this post and making you all read. This couple learnt to be on their own and
their son brought them joy and fortune.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In another 4 years
time, another son arrived. The journey, though not as easy as they would have expected
it to be, continued. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It went on and on until they had to face some torrid
times. It was harsh. It was rough. It affected them badly. Financially and
emotionally. The ripples were felt even by the kids and yet the couple made
sure that the kids were shielded completely from their troubles. Despite their
own differences, they held on and fought bravely. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Little by little, their troubles vanished. They recovered
and came up stronger like never before. It did give rise to some new
opportunities. They made use of it. Time got better. Their kids were brought up
well and they did manage to show their prowess in different fields. This
delighted the couple. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The new opportunity did separate them but this only made
the family bond stronger. They got better in every sense. And the journey continued.
That journey is now 25 years old. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
continues.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Wow!! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What an achievement!! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Why all this ado?” you may ask.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is this
celebration necessary?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My answer would be
a big YES. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In an age where there is a talk of how the institution of
Marriage itself has become redundant, it’s definitely an achievement that’s
worth celebrating. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">People talk of how stupid the idea of an arranged
marriage is. I don’t agree. Yes, in the present age, the idea of getting
married to someone you got to know only because your parents/guardians insisted
on meeting them does sound crazy. Also you might have known them for barely a
month or two. So we may not agree with this concept but those days were
different. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">They mostly had arranged marriages then and most of them
were very successful unlike the marriages today. Yes there might have been
those unhappy marriages which last owing to compulsions like kids, financial
security, etc., but there were also a lot of successful and very happy arranged
marriages. So please don’t take to dissing <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>arranged marriages. You may not like it and
you may not prefer it but dissing all arranged marriages in general is just
taking it too far. Leave it, if you don’t like it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So under such circumstances, an arranged marriage to have
happily lasted for 25 years is indeed a great milestone in an epic journey. Yes,
there were fights, differences of opinion, sacrifices, fall, rise, joy, hate,
pride, envy and every other emotion that you could think of. But this journey
is about taking it all in its stride and moving on and moving forth. It’s
ultimately about how two people held on to each other despite all the bumps in
the ride.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Hence it definitely deserves a celebration!!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As a proud son, I propose a toast to my wonderful parents
who had given me everything that I could hope for – a comfortable life, good
education, a healthy body and a sound mind. With these, I can even conquer the world. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Thank you Amma and Appa and wish you a very happy Silver
Jubilee. Here’s to the next 25 + years…. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Cheers.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">-Ashwin Murali </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</div>
Ashmurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07492523564262055217noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1411284539406341094.post-35641850738821121452013-01-17T00:17:00.000+05:302013-01-17T00:17:09.699+05:30Words are not what they mean<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Back to
blogging in the New Year. Last couple of weeks was very eventful with mostly
good things happening. Hope it continues.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Coming
to today’s post, I’ve often wondered how words have changed over time. They
don’t mean the same over a period of time as they meant at the beginning.
Ofcourse, I’m not talking about all words, but some words have transformed.
Let’s look at some of them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Homely:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">What
does ‘homely’ mean? If I had not been taught its meaning by a nice teacher, I’d
probably say that it means ‘of home or suitable to a house’ or something of
that sort. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But dictionary defines ‘homely’ as plain,
pretentious and lacking in physical beauty.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">We
generally associate that term with a girl, usually a prospective bride. People
say they’d prefer a homely girl. What they actually mean is that they’d prefer
a girl, who’s traditional in nature, suitable enough to fit in anyone’s house
adjusting herself to the surroundings. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Are
there such girls present today? ;-) Just kidding </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">:-)</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I agree that it’s offensive to girls in
general that such a demand for a ‘homely’ girl is being made in today’s world.
Perhaps, girls should start demanding a ‘homely’ boy then. I’m not even
venturing into the definition of a ‘homely’ boy. Please do if you wish </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">;-) :-)</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">But the
point is that 99.9 percent of the people using that word, especially in South
India, do not know its dictionary meaning. Like all other Indians, people were
probably looking for a word that would aptly fit in and describe the
characteristics mentioned and they hit upon this word. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Another
problem is in suggesting an alternative. What alternative would you suggest for
‘homely’?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘Traditional’ sounds fine but
in today’s world that sounds more offensive than some swear words. Think of it?
How would you react if you were called a traditional girl/boy? Does sound odd.
Got to stick with ‘homely’.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Having
been taught well, I don’t use it in that context, but I find everyone else
using it. I can correct some but not everyone. So the simple solution lies in
me not using it but understand what people mean by it if they use it. So many
eminent people have used it. Time to accept that the word has undergone/is undergoing
a transformation in our own unique Indian way. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Guardians
of the English language/dictionary writers at Oxford & Cambridge should
perhaps realize that the words they define don’t mean the same in India </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">:-) </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Perhaps they must come up with an Indian edition,
‘cause we’re unique.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dude:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Another
interesting word. Dictionary defines it as “an informal way to address a man; a
man who’s much concerned with his dress and appearance”.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">But if
you ask people using it, people like you and me, we’d say that it simply means
a ‘cool guy’. But did you know what the word meant when it was first coined?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">It meant
a ‘dud’. Yes. The word was coined in the 1860s and at that time it was used to
refer to males who were extremely well-dressed that their dressing was often incongruous
(out of place). So they were called ‘dud’ (boring, fool, etc.). This became
‘dude’ and transformed in meaning to its present form. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Another
issue here is gender based. Though the word is used to refer to males, it has
come to be more unisexual of late, being used for both genders.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">But the
actual female equivalent of a ‘dude’ is a ‘dudette’, which again is not the
original term. According to Webster’s Dictionary, the female equivalent of a
dude is a ‘dudine’. But again the term might have sounded uncool and someone
thought of this term ‘dudette’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Again
‘dudette’ has come to mean something different, somewhere close to its original
meaning. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">In today’s
college parlance, ‘dudette’ means a girl who’s dumb. She might be well-dressed,
elegant and might talk only in English. Even if you talk to her in Tamil
knowing that she can speak that language perfectly well, she’ll be like “Eniku
Thaamil theriyaadhu” (I don’t know Tamil). If you ask her about who the Chief
Minister or Governor of the state is, she’ll probably say “Oh, I don’t know. I
don’t read politics, you see.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">So
there’s your ‘dudette’ , atleast that’s what a ‘dudette’ means in today’s
college parlance. So if someone calls you a dudette, be offended or perhaps,
you really are one ;-)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">That’s
why ‘dude’ is being used unisexually these days.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Weather
and Climate:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I’ve
corrected the maximum no. of people with these words. We’ll talk a little
Geography here. I owe a lot of my knowledge in Geography to a wonderful teacher
named Sujatha Ma’am who taught me Geography at school. I did well in Geography
& scored a 98pc in my board exam. I guess that qualifies me to teach you
all a little Geography. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">When you
talk about the weather of a place, you’re talking about the climatic conditions
of a place over a short period of time like a day or a couple of days or a week
at the maximum.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">When you
talk about the climate of a place, you’re talking about the climatic conditions
of a place over a long period of time like 20 to 30 years or more.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">You
don’t say “Today’s climate is good”. You say “Today’s weather is good.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Similarly
you say “Bangalore has a pleasant climate or Coimbatore has a pleasant climate
or Chennai has a sultry climate” as you’re talking about the prevalent general
conditions in those places for years together.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Guys/
Gals and the usage of Mrs./Ms.</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Another
issue that arises is with regard to the usage of ‘guys’. ‘Guy’ means a male and
it’s plural form is ‘guys’. The apt female equivalent of this word is ‘gal’. But
again, there’s this ‘uncoolness’ about that word. So people don’t prefer to use
it. Even ‘guys and girls’ is more acceptable in today’s parlance than people
calling ‘guys and gals’. This again has led to the word ‘guys’ being used
unisexually. There’s a reverse gender bias here ;-) All words that were guys’ are
being taken away from us ;-) </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">:-)</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Another
interesting word is the word ‘mistress’. Though in India people have taken to
referring their wife as ‘mistress’, the word actually means an adulterous
woman, signifying an illicit relationship. Unlike other words like ‘homely’,
mistake in this word should be deemed unacceptable. So please don’t use the
word ‘mistress’. Introducing them as your ‘wife’ or ‘spouse’ or as your ‘better
half’ is good enough. While on this topic, I’m reminded of a joke that I read
in some magazine a long time back.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">A
foreigner and his wife were travelling in a train and they were seated next to
a village couple. The villager was strangely staring at the foreigner’s wife.
The foreigner noticed this and to make things clear, he said to his wife, “I’m
your husband and you’re my wife.” The villager saw this and trying to ape him,
he turned to his wife and said “I’m your handpump and you’re my pipe.” :-D</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">For
males, such a problem never existed as they were addressed as ‘Mr.’
irrespective of their marital status. This injustice to females was noticed and
it was first suggested that the title of “Ms.” be used for women in 1901 in The
Republican magazine. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This issue was
later taken forward by American Business Writers Association and from 1970s
onwards, the title “Ms.” has been used to refer to women. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Newspapers like The Guardian have given fillip
to this usage by stating that they’d refer to all women by the title “Ms.” unless
the women being addressed themselves state their preference to be addressed as
either “Miss” or “Mrs.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Hmmm/Hmm</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">If you’re
wondering what this means, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>be assured
that you’re not alone. We are sailing in the same boat. Perhaps the most
irritable response that you could get from someone in a text message is ‘hmmm’.
It’s not even a proper word for heaven’s sake. People use it in oral
conversations as means of letting the speaker know that he/she is being listened
to. Stop it with that. Please don’t take it to written communication. Good
communicators never use it in their writing. It’s just a conversation filler.
There can hardly be anything more irritating than when you receive a reply “hmm”
in response to a lengthy message that you typed and sent. If you want to
acknowledge, you can atleast use words like “ok” or even a “smiley” would be a
better response than “hmm”. Please avoid it if you’re in the habit of using it.
I recently found a person, who I regard as a very good communicator, using it.
I advised that <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>person not to use it,
only to find the words “hmm” again in that person’s message to me. Old habits
die hard, I guess ;-) </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">:-)</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Will
update on more such words as and when I come across them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Cheers,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Ashwin Murali</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br /></span></div>
</div>
Ashmurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07492523564262055217noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1411284539406341094.post-81284009831447306602012-12-31T23:55:00.001+05:302012-12-31T23:55:22.126+05:30What they fail to teach us <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Hello again. My last post got some of the best
responses that I’ve ever got. That includes a girl asking me if I could be the
subject for her to practice the groin kick ;-) OMG!!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t
think then that one incident would affect us all in the way it did. Those
rapists are akin to terrorists in the sense that they have managed to create
fear in the mind. I could see my female friends worry about their safety. This
fear would give rise to paranoia. My suggestion/advice to all my female friends
/ sisters is not to fear. Please be your normal selves and try to lead a normal
life. Just be vigilant and precautious. Also please don’t start hating your
friends, colleagues, and people around you just because they are men. Like I
said, any man who’s been brought up with the right values inculcated in him
would never do anything that’d displease a woman even in the slightest manner.
Identify such men and be around them. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">American
Way of Life:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Moving on to today’s topic, I’ve often wondered
whether the Americans are crazy to be doing what they do – send out their kids
once they’re done with school. For those who may not know, the US way of life
is such that the children learn to be alone right from their infancy. Yes. A
toddler will have his/her own room and that’s where they’re put to sleep while
the parents sleep in their bedroom. So the process of learning to be alone
starts there. Once they’re done with their school education, they move out of
their houses and start leading a life of their own. They work, study, pay their
bills, do their chores, etc. without anyone’s support. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ofcourse there are exceptions where the
parents continue to support their children but the majority is on their own. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Now thinking again, I wonder, are they crazy or are
they brilliant to be doing that? A bit of both, I’d say. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Crazy ‘cause they fail to support their child
realize his/her dream to the fullest; brilliant ‘cause they initiate the
process of learning one of the most important lessons in our life – Self
Discovery. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Being on your own will always sound like music to
the ears of a teenager who has been craving for his/her privacy, right from
adolescence. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">But is being independent & being on your own
that easy? Yes, for an American kid. Not for an Indian kid.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> Indian
Way of Life:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Now let’s look at the Indian way of life. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The Indian kid is a parents’ darling. The cherished
joy of their lives. They try to stay with their parents for as long as their
situation allows them to. Again there are exceptions but I’m not talking about
them. Most of them stay with their parents throughout their school lives. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even when it comes to college, parents don’t
send out their kids. They look for a college in their proximity and try to
enroll their ward there or they shift to the city of the college where their
ward has got admission. They continue this support till the point where they’re
forced to give in. Some never give in. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Parents supporting their kids is not a sin. But they
must also impart the essential life skills to their kids. By life skills, I
mean anything and everything. Let me talk from my own experience. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Learning
Life Skills – the unusual ones:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I was posted in Jharsuguda, Orissa, at an age
of 21 after my college, I realized that I was on my own thereafter. Though
there was initial excitement, slowly but surely, I was exposed to my own
shortcomings, one by one. Let’s look at them and how I overcame them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Money:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">
Yes. I was paid for the first time in my life. Though I’ve dealt with money in
my life, I’ve never handled such huge amounts of money, that too in a bank
account and all. Though I learnt it in due course of time, I realized that
people around me who had lived in hostels in their college, were able to manage
better. That was the first time I regretted not having been in a hostel in my
college life. But I learnt and when we came out of company accommodation, I was
the house financier.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Cooking:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">
Once out of the company accommodation, my friends and I were completely on our
own in a rented house. That’s where we started cooking. That’s when I realized
what I missed out learning, while I was back home. I regretted not joining in
when my brother used to cook stuffs with my mom. Yes. My brother cooks well. But
learning to cook was fun too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did
learn to cook, albeit little by little. Still I was able to eat my own cooking
and that’s what mattered. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Washing:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">
One of the most painful exercises. My dad had taught me this while I was young
and it helped. Though being the connoisseurs of comfort that we were, had a
washing machine, there were days which were spent washing soaked up, dusty
clothes.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Doing dishes:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">
Atleast this was one activity I was well trained in. Though it’s a pain, we
managed it well.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Cleaning the house:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">
Another activity that came naturally to me. Whether it was sweeping the floor
or dusting the roof (once in awhile), we managed it well.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Now looking back, I’m amazed at what I managed. The
point here is that these skills should be taught to every individual
irrespective of whether you’re a male or a female. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Gender
Disparity/ Reverse Gender Bias:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">While the girls are taught all these, the boys are
largely ignored, is the common argument. But I beg to disagree. Are girls
taught all these? In the present day, the girls are brought up in a competitive
environment on par with boys in every sense. In their sense of comforting the
girls, many parents fail to teach them these skills. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Sometimes, girls are comforted to such an extent
that they never know hardships in their life. Don’t get me wrong. It’s none of
my business to tell parents what to teach their daughters. I insist on teaching
all these skills even to your sons. My point is, when it comes to daughter,
certain parents shower their wards with so much love and comfort that it becomes
difficult for them, if they face hardships future in their life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again don’t get me wrong. By future, I don’t
mean their married life. Whether you marry or not, is your wish. Even if you
don’t, to lead an independent life, all these skills are requisites. Again
people may argue saying why should they learn these skills when they could
afford a cook or a helper when faced with such a situation. Again my point is
not if you could get these works done, but knowing to do them. And this has got
nothing to do with getting married et al. In this age when hardly any married
couple stays with their parents, such skills are a requisite, not just for the
girl. I’ve seen a lot of independent, young, single women leading very good
lives on account of them mastering these skills. Same with men. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It’s ok to give all comforts to your children but
please don’t distinguish them. The other day, a friend remarked that his sister
wouldn’t have undergone even a fourth of the hardships that he had to undergo
in his life. Such distinctions could be avoided. It’s ok to give a little
preference to your daughter over your son. But at the same time, the daughter
should also be taught the essentials of life and should be exposed to the
outside world. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Yes, the girls should be exposed to the outside world
even if it means risking her safety in the present scenario. They should go out
and be on their own, atleast for a year. Unless they are exposed to the outside
world, they cannot grow in confidence. The same applies to your sons too. And
parents needn’t worry about their wards, especially their daughters. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The world is undergoing a change where the gender
bias is tilting the other way. At a time when the top B-schools in the country
have relaxed their admission criteria in favour of girls, it’s only fair that
parents encourage their daughters to go out and conquer the world. But in doing
so, please don’t forget to equip them with all the skills required. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Also while talking about reverse gender bias, am
reminded of a conversation that I had with my mom some time back. She was
worried. When asked, she mentioned a cousin who’s getting married and how her
sister (my aunt) has presented her future daughter-in-law with a diamond
necklace. She said that now it has become a trend to present your
daughter-in-law with a diamond necklace and she has started saving to get one
for the future wives of my brother and me. I started laughing and asked her
what was it for. She replied that it was the price that she has to pay that ‘poor
girl’ for “taking care of you”. LOL. I told her that I was perfectly capable of
taking care of myself, to which, she replied “Unakku adhellaam puriyaadhu” (You
won’t understand). I continued laughing. Then I told her that I’d get the bride
a necklace myself and that she needn’t worry. LOL. Perhaps, there’s a small
change that’s happening in the dowry system. The girl’s side is being paid the
dowry. Wow. Sounded cool. Girls reading this, please note the point ;-) Think
about it… a diamond necklace “to take care of me” which I am perfectly capable
of doing. A big gain ;-) Again, think about it ;-) Also, am not too bad either
;-) ;-) LOL :-D<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jokes apart, the point
is that in certain spheres, girls have developed to such an extent that there’s
no point holding them back. Let them be their selves. Let them get exposure,
gain knowledge and steer clear of their naivety.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Another skill that comes to my mind is swimming.
Please teach your wards to swim. Swimming is one skill that is taught to every
youngster in the Western world whereas hardly a fifth of Indian youngsters can
swim. Learn to swim and swim properly. Don’t pretend to know swimming after
having attended a 15 day crash course ;-)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Other skills that can be taught are some self
defence skills like Karate, Kung fu, Kalari Payattu, etc. Also teach them to
drive, both two wheelers and four wheelers.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">If you equip them with all these skills and send
them out into the world, they’ll face the world confidently and in learning
about the world, they will also learn about themselves. The process of Self
Discovery will happen. This will prepare them to face anything and everything
in life. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">For American youngsters, this process of Self
Discovery happens much earlier than us and this makes them, in a sense, more
confident than us. But again there are exceptions. If we realize our
shortcomings and equip ourselves properly, then there’s absolutely nothing
that’d prevent us from matching them in all spheres. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This is what they fail to teach us.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Wish you all a very happy new year.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Cheers,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Ashwin Murali</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">PS: The title of this blog post is inspired by the
title of Meenakshi Akka’s blog. Meenu ka, if you read this, thank you for the
title which I took without your permission. Title credits to you </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">:-)</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b>Disclaimer:</b> The examples cited in this post are
based on the author’s experiences and are not intended to refer to or to mean
offence to any individual, whomsoever.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</div>
Ashmurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07492523564262055217noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1411284539406341094.post-15938327436634729292012-12-19T17:46:00.000+05:302012-12-19T17:46:08.624+05:30Sorry, my dear Sisters<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Hello again. My last post got me some nice
feedbacks. Like always, people hitherto unknown, read it and it felt good. In
addition to all that, I was also told that I seemed to live in a parallel
universe. I got the point. It’s not that I wasn’t aware of what’s going on but
I wanted the world to be ideal, atleast in my writings. Turns out the world is
a far worse place. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Reality sucks. But we live in reality believing that
everything’s fine, when it’s not. Hence this post. Some hard truths. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">People who
know me will tell you that I’m one of the most diplomatic persons around. For a
change, I’m not going to be diplomatic here.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was about to write on something else. But this
post is far more important, I felt. If you’re the soft/ weak-hearted kind,
please do not read any further.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">First of all, a big sorry to all my dear sisters out
there.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I just could not take it that some wretched persons
from my gender would do something so horrific. Yes, I’m talking about the Delhi
rape case. “Which one?” you may ask. The one that’s dominating the news for the
last couple of days, the one where the victim was brutally raped and thrown out
of a moving bus. It was really disturbing. The no. of such cases in Delhi over
the past 4-5 years has rightfully earned it the shameful sobriquet – “Rape
Capital”. Now I’m not going to deal with statistics and details et al. You’ve
newspapers and screaming news anchors for that. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Let us see the reasons behind
this problem and ways to put an end to it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Reasons: </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Immigrants,
drugs, alcohol, the beast within:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I apologized earlier just to express solidarity – philadelphos,
a brotherly love. Otherwise, I don’t even consider those wretched beings as
humans, let alone one of my kind – males. They are plain animals, beasts that
have no control over their senses. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I had a chat with a nice chap I befriended during a
train journey, a year ago. He’s been in Delhi since 2007, working with a PSU.
He said he had done a study on the rising rapes in Delhi and presented me with
some of his findings.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The immigrant labour population was responsible for
over 80 pc of the rapes that happened during this period. These are young
illiterate labourers from around the country, who toil hard during the day and let their
senses wander during the night. They are mostly young unmarried men and in some
cases married men. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Alcohol and drugs were the next major factors,
according to him. And in this case, the perpetrators were not some illiterate
rustics but educated, affluent, young men who have strayed into the path of
drugs and alcohol. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Inefficient
System:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The system is so inefficient that it has become
impossible for the police to thwart a possible molestation. The Government
machinery, law, judicial system, media, etc. are working in tandem against the
victim. There was a statement made on twitter by an eminent personality saying
that we come to know of such cases in Delhi for it’s only here that cases are
being reported. Elsewhere, the system is such that people will hardly report
the matter. Could be true. Not sure. This 24X7 media would ensure that the
victim never has a peaceful, normal, anonymous life again. In addition, the
feminist groups add insult to injury. I’m not targeting anyone or anything
here, but the sad truth is that these female organizations lack unity and they
end up doing more harm than good. The government takes advantage of this
friction among different groups.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
Ladies:</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Now this would raise many eyebrows. How is a lady to
be blamed for being victimized? There’s been enough written in the media about
this and there has been enough statements made by loud-mouthed politicians who
have earned the ire of one and all. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">No.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I’m not going to blame their dresses.
Ours is a free country and every person is entitled the dress up the way he/she
wishes. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">No. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I’m not going to blame them for going out to parties with their
boyfriends. They are perfectly within their rights to do that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I’m not blaming them for consuming alcohols
or drugs either. It’s a morality issue and every person has the right to choose
the morally right path for themselves. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Then what?</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I blame them for their ignorance, their nescience.
It is imperative that they know such things could happen anywhere and
everywhere and stay on the vigil. I’ll be pounced upon for saying this, but I’m
sorry. Please return to your homes before it’s too late. I have no right to ask
my sisters to return home soon while I stay out late. But that’s the way it is.
Like I said before, the machinery – the police, the government etc. are
inefficient in dealing with this problem and so for our part, as normal
citizens, we’ll have to take the necessary precautions. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
<b>Putting an End:</b></h4>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It’s not the time to turn rebellious. It’s
imperative that we protect ourselves from the beast that’s lurking around. It’s
shameful for me to say this but <b>ours is not a safe country for women</b>. Gandhi
said that the real freedom is when a woman is able to walk down the streets
with jewels in the dead of the night. Going by his definition, we are not free
yet. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I’ve seen girls impose a curfew on
themselves and get home soon. I’ve often wondered why is that so and is it
necessary. Now I realize that it’s indeed necessary. For a country that’s as
unsafe as ours for women, it is indeed necessary that such a curfew be self-imposed.
Again there’s sexism, gender bias there but nothing could be done unless
everything improves.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Also understand that being with a guy doesn't improve matters. No matter who the guy is, in the face of such adversity, he's as helpless against those beasts as you. The Delhi case and the recent Bangalore NLS case are good examples of the same. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">If you’re a woman who works late into the night,
please equip yourselves with pepper spray, self-defence tactics, etc. Also if
you ask me, I’d suggest you practice kicking a guy in his groin. There’s hardly
anything that’s more painful than that for a guy ;-) :-) </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Morality is another issue that needs to be taken
care of. The moral values have to be imbibed into the system from a very young
age. If you’re a parent and have a son, teach him to respect and treat women as
their equal in all respects. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s wrong
to even touch a girl if she doesn’t like it, whoever it may be – your friend, classmate,
colleague, sibling, etc. Learn to respect her dignity and teach the same to the
others. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As for putting an end to all this, some politicians
suggest severity of punishments. I agree but not to the punishment they’ve
suggested. They’ve suggested death. I suggest <b>castration.</b> </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph">
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Yes. <b>Castration. </b>That’d put an end to this problem. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Would any person dare indulge in rape/adultery in the Middle East? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">No. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Why? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Because of castration. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In a Tamil film, the comedian Vivek shoots the groin
of a rapist and says “Only when the severity of punishments increase, will the
crimes come down.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Exactly my point. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Impose castration as punishment for rape and you’ll
see it coming down. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As for drugs and alcohol, again it boils down to
morality. If you drink, that’s your problem. But drink responsibly so that the
problem stays with you and you alone. As for drugs, say no them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Again girls, always remember a person is not the
same in an inebriated state. So for your own precaution, stay away from guys,
whoever it may be, if you find him getting drunk. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The same applies to you too.
If you drink, bear in mind the place and the people you’re with and drink
responsibly. Don’t ever get drunk in a public place. As for drugs, don’t ever
think of them. There are enough articles on the net about date-rape drugs et al.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So dear sisters, please stay safe and stay alert.
Stay on the vigil always. It’s imperative to stay alert even when you’re with
guys you’ve known like boyfriends, classmates, colleagues, friends, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Staying on the vigil doesn’t mean that you’ll
have to look at them with suspicion all the time but staying prepared if
anything were to happen. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Hopeful that nothing wrong ever happens. Touch wood.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">With philadelphos,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Ashwin Murali</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">PS: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve
addressed every girl reading this as sisters but if everyone turns out to be a sister,
I’ll be stranded as a bachelor, for life. So please, not all of you consider me
your brother ;-) :-)</span></div>
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Ashmurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07492523564262055217noreply@blogger.com4