From Ainavaram to IIM: A true life story

Disclaimer: This is my story and I reserve the right to say it the way I like. So I have nothing to disclaim about. This is essentially a non-disclaimer.

Warning: This is a very long post. 

Note: If you’re an IIT or an IIM aspirant, I’d suggest you better not read this. If you still want to read it, I’d like you to treat this as a story. Nothing more, nothing less. It’s neither meant to dishearten you, nor is it meant to inspire you. But if it does, don’t blame me. Either way, it’s a story. A real one nevertheless.

Another Note: If you’re someone who’s close to me and knows me well, you’d know this already for you’d have seen me through this. It’s up to you whether you wanna read it or not.

First of all, let me begin with a small confession. The word “Ainavaram” in the title has no connection to this story. I know Ainavaram to be a place in Chennai. Neither have I been to Ainavaram nor do I have any clue as to what it looks like. I have just heard the name and it struck me when I was thinking of a title for this post. You have those newbie authors giving fancy title to their works to garner attention. So there you go. I’m guilty too :-)

The smooth sailing, the smart kid and the bright student:

 Well, the sailing was smooth. Up to a certain point. I was one of those chirpy kids who get labeled as smart and bright at a very young age. Started quizzing as early as third standard and the inquisitive nature never stopped me. The urge to learn new things led me to read a lot and a smart kid was born. This kid kept building on his strengths and made a mark for himself at the school level. Academically too, I performed well, finishing among the top three of the class always. As a student and a school going kid, it was a relatively smooth sailing for me with the path dotted with many laurels along the way.

 

The high point:

 Every journey has to peak at some point. For me, it happened in 10^th standard. I scored 1025 out of 1100 marks (93.2 percent) in my Board Exams and finished third in the school. More plaudits followed and I was hailed as this kid who’s headed for a great destiny. I was soaking in the limelight and was sailing among the clouds for sometime. I didn’t know what lay ahead then.

The big mistake: the IIT Dream Factory 

Somewhere along the way in my journey, my dad happened to mention the three letters to me. The three letters that could change my life forever; or so, I thought. IIT. Today it’s so popular with the advent of 24X7 media, but back then, about 10 years ago, it was not as popular as it is now. So when you see a bright young kid winning laurels and making a mark in every field, it’s only natural that you suggest him a place that would fulfill his true potential. That was how IIT came into my life. I dreamt about IIT, I longed to be a part of it. That was where my heart was back then. A senior from school had cracked the IIT with an All India Rank of 31 and made it to IIT Madras. He became my role model by default. My food, my drink, my sleep, all resonated the three words – IIT. It started as a passion. Became an obsession. I joined the only centre providing coaching for IIT – JEE back then in Coimbatore. I joined all the Correspondence courses that I could think of. I studied every day. Sometimes every night. I thought I was on the right track. I thought I had it in me. What I failed to realize then was that my efforts then were merely a fraction of the efforts one would require to put in to get into an IIT. I fooled myself into thinking that I had it me, that I could make it. I didn’t realize that staying in Coimbatore, I hardly had any exposure that one would ideally require to make it to an IIT. In this relentless pursuit, my academics began to suffer. I failed for the first time in my life in 11^th standard Half-yearly exams. I failed in Physics, a subject that I liked. I was devastated. But like with so many things, it’s the first time that hurts. Not afterwards. I failed again in 12^th standard Quarterly and Half-yearly exams. This time in Chemistry and Mathematics. I hated Chemistry but I loved Maths. Yet here I was, failing in all three subjects that I was supposed to ace in order to get into an IIT. I was clueless. I was helpless. I didn’t know what to do. In school, I was hiding from the teachers who taught me till 10^th for all they know was that Ashwin was a bright student. I didn’t want them to see this face of Ashwin. This guy who was a failure. 

On the one hand, I believed that I could make it to the IIT even though my preparation on that front dropped significantly. On the other hand, I needed to get serious about my academics, lest I fail in my 12^th Standard. The onus was completely on me for I was this stubborn kid who refused to take up tuitions even when all other students in my class went for tuitions.  So I decided to give this IIT business a break and concentrate on my Academics. So for the next 2 months, I studied and started passing the subjects. But in a state as competitive as Tamilnadu, a pass would get me nowhere. I had to be in the top brass – 95% and above. I did try hard and gave it my best in the exams. But the results were a big letdown.

The worst phase:

I still remember the day very clearly – 22^nd of May, 2006. Probably the worst day in my professional life. I got the results. I passed. I scored 1058 out of 1200 (88 percent). Normally any kid would be happy with that score. But in the environment that I grew up in, that score was a disaster. Being a General category student in Tamilnadu, that score was next to nothing. It was as though my whole world came crashing down. My home bore a look as though it was in a state of mourning that day. Phone calls kept coming in. None of them were congratulatory. It was all commiserations. My parents graciously took responsibility for my failure saying that it was their mistake that they did not guide me properly. I was heartbroken. They trusted me and gave me everything that I asked for and yet I failed them. 

Soon, all entrance exam results followed and as expected, I did not clear any – be it IIT or AIEEE or other tests. Panic struck and in a state of desperation, I was enrolled into a B.Sc. Computer Science course in one of the prestigious Arts & Science Colleges in the city as the Engineering admissions were more than a month away and I faced the real possibility of ending up in a third-rate Engineering college. So I went to this BSc course for a month. People around me were all happy for they had made it to the best college in the city but I could not take it. Here I was, dreaming of getting into IIT only a couple of months back and yet here I am. I hid from everyone back then. From friends, from relatives, from my teachers, from everyone. I didn’t want them to look and sympathize with me. It was probably the worst phase of my life. Engineering admissions happened and I got admission to a decent college in the city. It wasn’t a great college, but it wasn’t bad either. Somehow, I mustered up the courage to come out of my hiding and tell everyone that I got admission to so and so college in the city. 

The vow:

Still the IIT dreams hadn’t left me. I was floating the idea of giving IIT again. I could not bear the fact that I was doing Engineering from an ordinary college when all my friends were in better colleges. Once I was arrogant enough to reply that I won’t look at anything other than IIT when a person suggested the names of Anna University or PSG Tech. On the first day of Engineering, our HOD told us “What you do in the next 4 years will determine how your next 40 years are going to be like.” I took his words seriously.  Even though I had one eye on giving the IIT again, I vowed that it should not let my Academics suffer at any cost. I worked diligently. As a result, I topped my class in the first year of Engineering. Though I gave IIT again, I knew the result beforehand for I hardly put in any effort. I accepted that this was my college and this is where I had to shape my destiny from.

The Redemption: 

The next 3 years saw me redeem myself to my past glory. I started going out to competitions and started winning prizes too. Quiz was my forte and I did not miss any quiz in the city. I was not ashamed of my college anymore. I realized that it was something psychological and it was my own creation. I realized that people saw me for who I was, not for my college. Yet I learnt to feel proud of my college and declare that I was from Sri Ramakrishna Institute of Technology (SRIT). My school friends stood by me. We were a closely knit group of six people and we had absolutely no ego. We did not care about others’ colleges or other aspects. My quiz partner was one of them. He ensured that he invited me as his partner for every quiz in the city despite the fact that he was from a prestigious college in the city and had better quizzers there.  For the six of us, college hardly mattered. We were the same buddies from school. The world of quizzing introduced me to some of the best people that I have ever known. There was this quizzer from PSG Tech, the most prestigious college in the city, who wrote how people judge him based on his college and how it should not matter if he was from PSG Tech or some XYZ Engg. College. It’s the person that mattered, not the college. Reading that gave me fresh vigour. Now it did not matter to me if I was from IIT or SRIT. Infact during this period, I visited IIT 3 to 4 times and realized that the people studying there were mere mortals too. I revered the students there the first time I visited the campus. The reverence slowly wore off as I began to realize that they were just like me. Infact, I was better than some of them in certain aspects. It’s just because of the fact that they had managed to clear an entrance exam that I could not, they were here and I was elsewhere.

I did well academically too during this phase and landed a good job with Vedanta Resources. My redemption was complete when I was awarded 2 gold medals for being the Best Outgoing student of my college and for being the Department topper. Ashwin Murali was no longer the guy who fared badly in 12^th standard but a gold medallist.

The next dream factory: IIM

When I failed to clear the IIT for the second time, somewhere in my mind I decided to target the other dream factory, namely the IIMs. I started preparing for the CAT from the third year of college onwards. Though I was focused on my preparation, it lacked the intensity that one would require to clear the CAT. As a result, I ended up with an 84.5 percentile score in my first attempt. Since I had a job in hand, it did not bother me much and I went to work with Vedanta Resources in Jharsuguda, Odisha. I gave CAT again, this time with no preparation and ended up with a score of 89 odd percentile. Though it was good, I knew with some more effort, I could hit a 98-99 percentile and target my dream factory. So I started again. In the months that followed my joining Vedanta, I grew really homesick and started cribbing a lot. I’m really thankful to the people who had to put up with me during that phase. I was lucky to have had an excellent bunch of people around me back then, who motivated me enough to take up CAT again. This was going to be my third and hopefully last attempt at CAT, provided I made it to an IIM. I studied hard juggling work and studies. I used to sit and take a mock CAT after a tired day’s work. Though I tried hard, I knew there was something lacking. Still I gave CAT hoping that I could improve on my 89 percentile score from the previous year. Within 20 days of giving my CAT, I was transferred to a plant in Tuticorin. I checked my CAT results from Tuticorin . 83 percentile. I was devastated. Three attempts at CAT and all three were unsuccessful. It was a throwback to the IIT preparation days again. I didn’t know what to do. I decided to concentrate on the work in hand.

The next 4 months in the Tuticorin plant were the hardest that I have ever worked in my life. My job was so hectic that I hardly had any time to think about CAT, leave alone, study for it. It was April 2012 and I knew that I had had enough. Though I was performing well on the job front, I was not enjoying it. I had to do something about it. I thought hard and bravely, I put in my papers. I went to T.I.M.E. Coimbatore and spoke with the Director who I hardly knew back then. He looked at my past CAT scores and was kind enough to offer me a Faculty job in the area of Logical Reasoning & Data Interpretation after seeing that I had scored in the high 90s consistently in that area in all my three previous CAT attempts.

The final push: the T.I.M.E. journey:

The one year that I spent at T.I.M.E. was one of the most fruitful periods of my life. I learnt so many things about life during that period. You can read about it here.

After joining T.I.M.E., I made up my mind to give it my all for it’s going to be now or never. I can’t keep postponing my higher studies any longer for age was catching up with me. Within days of joining TIME, I realized that I had to work extra hard for my colleagues were all a step ahead of me for they had been in TIME longer. I slogged real hard for the next two months. I slogged day and night. Slowly my mock CAT scores started improving and I caught up with my colleagues and eventually I overtook them. That was when I started relaxing a bit for I felt contented as my mock CAT scores were soaring high.

I now believe that when you’re competing for something, it’s never ok to feel completely contented. The moment you feel that is the moment your efforts take a backseat. That’s exactly what happened to me. A month before the CAT, I grew confident and was contented and this slackened my preparation. Still I gave CAT and this time, I scored 97 percentile. I knew that I could have scored 99 had my preparation not slackened, yet it was a big relief for me. This score meant that I was going to end up in some good college if not an IIM.  Soon I followed it up with scores of 98 percentile in SNAP and a 95 percentile in XAT.

Four days after my CAT results, I got an interview call from IIM Kashipur. I was overjoyed. Even with a 97 percentile score, it was still possible to get an IIM call. Probably my work experience helped me there. Though it was a call from the newest IIM, it was still an IIM – a dream factory and that’s all that mattered to me. There were also calls from other good colleges like MDI Gurgaon, XIMB, Symbiosis, IMT Ghaziabad, IIT Roorkee, IIT Kanpur and a couple of other colleges. 

The next one month was spent travelling around the country giving interviews at various locations. I did fairly well in all interviews and got admits to all the colleges except MDI Gurgaon where I was placed in the waitlist. But I was not worried about these. I knew my big prize was waiting. The IIM results got delayed and I kept waiting. Finally the results came and I was wait-listed. Disappointment. But I was hopeful of making it in the second list which was due in 5 days for the IIM interview was probably the best interview that I gave in the entire season. 

Joining XIMB and the good news:

By now I had decided after detailed research that I’d be joining XIMB if IIM doesn’t come through. The second list came and I was again in the waitlist. Disappointment  again. I didn’t know what to do for the date for joining XIMB was getting nearer. With a heavy heart, I decided to bid goodbye to my IIM dreams and join XIMB. I went and joined XIMB, by which time the third list had also come and I was wait-listed in that too. I started liking XIMB and took to the place so much that I even forgot to check the fourth list. In the evening, I opened my mail casually to find a mail from IIM Kashipur saying that I had been admitted. I didn’t know how to react then. It didn’t sink in then. Then slowly I realized. Realized that here was the dream factory, the place I longed to be in for 6 years and I have finally made it. 

The next one week was packed with frantic activities – withdrawing from XIMB, vacating my hostel, booking tickets for Kashipur, Medical tests, etc. The journey has almost always been frantic for me. I’m used to it. 

The dream realized: Just the beginning

Finally I arrived at IIM Kashipur on June 29^th, 2013. A dream was realized. The redemption was complete. But my experience had taught me that this was just the beginning. The Director’s speech echoed the same sentiments – “ How you make use of these 2 years would determine where you end up?”  Sounds familiar? ;-) Time to start all over again :-)

Some Insights:

Looking back, through all these travails, my parents were a huge support for me. They stood by me through thick and thin. So did my brother who believed in me when nobody else did. Then I had this wonderful bunch of friends from school and a small group of friends from college. I also had an excellent group of people around me at Vedanta. Not to mention my favourite gang from TIME. I would be no one but for these people. So my first insight is to surround yourself with the right people and your job is half-done.

I heard a young speaker in a recent TEDx convention say this: “Everyone has an ego. At some point, your ego gets hit. The sooner it gets hit, the better for you.” Mine got hit in 11^th standard. What was till then an infallible impression, got shattered overnight. 

I learnt this important lesson in college – You’re inferior to none and you’re superior to none. The moment you think of yourself as superior to someone is the moment you start losing. Similarly the moment you start thinking of yourself as inferior to someone is the moment you start giving up.

Finally, I’m a firm believer in the immortal words of Swami Vivekananda – “You are the creator of your own destiny.”  

Go ahead and create your destiny!! All the best !!

- Ashwin Murali

PS: I wanted this story to be told for a long time for there could be many out there who might feel like giving up at different points of time. I hope they carve out a path for themselves and realize their dreams.

PPS: Since it’s a real life story, you may have sensed a bit of emotion here and there and I may have unconsciously dramatized certain things. Forgive me if that was the case anywhere.

My time @ T.I.M.E.

Warning: The following post is a boring, monotonous, sleep-inducing write-up by an insomniac on how he spent a year as a teacher at an institute and the meaningful/meaningless stuff he gathered along the way. If you are bored already, read no further. This one’s not for you. The next post could be. For the rest, it’s your call. I’ve warned you already ;-) :-)

Hello folks, am back again. My last blog post was one of the most satisfying in a lot of ways for it did seem to make sense to a lot of people. Happy :-)

Coming to the part about what has been going on in my life for the past few months, well, I really don’t know where to begin and where do I take it from. To cut a long story short, I realized my dream of 6 years (i.e.) to get into an IIM. :-) Yeah. I am a student of IIM Kashipur now and let’s deal with that part -about my journey to an IIM, later. 

Let’s now concentrate on what led to this - my time at TIME.

 

Let me just put this as briefly as I can. I finished Engineering, got placed and landed a job with Vedanta Resources. I was posted in Jharsuguda, Odisha. Despite initial hiccups, I began to like that place and started enjoying my job. That’s when I was transferred to a Copper Smelter unit in Tuticorin and things got worse. To put it in a nutshell, I didn’t like my job at Tuticorin and I quit in just 6 months. I took up a job as a Faculty/Trainer at TIME Coimbatore. How I got that job? Well, I still don’t know, but I’m grateful to my former boss, the TIME director, for giving me the job. 

My time at TIME lasted one full year starting from June 2012, all the way till May 2013. Looking back, I couldn’t have had a better time anywhere else and I mean it. What an amazing experience it was!! 

I realized...

This period saw me transform from a serious, studious, introverted geek to a zestful, extroverted dude. My entire outlook changed. Some of my firm beliefs were shaken. My ego took a beating on many an occasion. I discovered that I had an emotional side. I realized that I could be incredibly boring at times. And I also found out that there were people who even liked this boring part of me. I realized that I had a philosopher residing within me. I found out that it doesn’t take much to forge a great friendship.  I realized that people are very unique and different by default. I saw how insecure and doubtful can some people be. I realized that I could act incredibly stupid at times and yet feel ok about it. I realized that in a comfortable setting, I can just be myself without worrying about anything. 

I realized that I really enjoyed teaching at times. I came to know that there were people who really enjoyed my classes. I realized that girls are normal beings too ;-) :-) I realized that I could be close friends with a girl. But I also realized that some girls can be really crazy at times. I doubted like Einstein did – Am I the one who’s crazy or is everyone else crazy? :-P ;-)

I realized that there was a spiritual side to me. I realized that there can be bosses who are extremely nice and extremely efficient at the same time. I rediscovered my love for poetry. I gave myself a pen-name which is known only to a select few. I realized that there could be people following me as a role model without even me realizing. I realized that I need to set a good example for them. I also realized that at such times, you need to be your true self rather than being pretentious.

I realized that it’s very wrong to judge a person unless you know them really well. I realized that a lot of people had aspects linked to their personality that was preventing them from being their true self. I gave out a lot of advice. I realized that I did so out of care and sincerity, but also realized that people may not like it. I realized the true meaning of the words “Silence is Golden”. 

I realized that it’s impossible to satisfy all the people all the time. I realized that friends are invaluable. I realized that solitude is not always fun. I realized that an idle mind is truly a devil’s workshop. I realized that most people are fickle. I realized that I’m fickle too. A person could be everything to you one day; you may not even remember him/her the next day. I realized that the world as such is very temporary. Nothing is permanent and everything changes.

  

I realized that a single negative thought could spoil your day. I also realized that a positive thought spreads happiness to everyone around. I realized that certain people make me feel very comfortable that I could talk anything when they are around. I realized that mind is the master and as long as you have it under control, everything will be fine. I realized that it’s a blessing to have a sane head and a balanced mind. I also realized that not everyone had that. I realized that I had feministic views about certain things. I also realized that not everyone had an open mind to take it.

I realized that music is the best tonic for the soul. I realized that I liked talking about music. I realized that I did know something about Carnatic music. I realized that I could play the keyboard quite well.

I realized that I can really care for others more than I cared for myself. I also realized that it’s foolish to expect anything you do, to be reciprocated. I realized that some people could be really strange. I realized that there could be weird characters in perfectly sane individuals. I realized that I could be really patient, especially with friends. I realized that I could get really sensitive at times. I realized that emotions make me weak, but I also realized that a man is nothing without the emotions.

  

I realized that when you love your work, you don’t think of it as work. I realized that I could score incredibly well in Verbal. I also realized that I could perform miserably in Quants, at times. I realized that I could get supremely confident at times and people could easily mistake it as arrogance.

I realized that I could get addicted to texting and Whatsapp. I realized that some dreams could get shattered just like that. I realized that I had good inter-personal skills.

Most importantly, I realized that you get what you deserve based on the effort that you put in, despite the fact that luck plays a small part.  There are so many other things that I learnt at TIME, but let’s end it here lest it becomes too boring, even for me :-P 

To end it, simply put, I realized that I am what I am for that’s what I am and I am this individual called Ashwin Murali.

When asked in an IIM interview as to what I did over the past few months at TIME apart from studying and teaching, I answered that I utilized that time to reflect on myself. The panelists were surprised but didn’t question me further. Now reading what I had written in this post, I can definitely say that I did introspect well and I have done a fair job of reflecting myself. A person who served as a mirror for me would vouch for that.  

And before I wrap up, let me just thank a few people, but for whom, nothing would have been possible over the past year.

Subbu sir - my boss and TIME Coimbatore Director. Nothing would have been possible but for his confidence in us and support. I owe it to you sir. I don't think I could ever find a boss like him :-)

Rajesh Sir: More of a friend than a teacher. Sponsored a cup of coffee for us daily. Had some unforgettable times with him at TIME. Also the person who helped me keep in touch with Hindi, which, believe me, is helping me tremendously right now. 

Srividya: A teacher turned friend. Well, she has been a friend all along but the past few months helped me interact with her the same way as I would with any of my close friends.  One person who can inspire and encourage you in times of need. Easily the most eloquent teacher that I ever had. There’s so much more to say, but you know all that Srivi  :-)

Prabhakaran sir: One word. Genius. Thank you sir.

Kamala Ma’am: Wonderful teacher. Thank you Ma’am.

Thresia Ma’am, Thelma Ma’am, Dominic Sir, Murugesh Anna and other TIME staff: Well, TIME wouldn’t be TIME without them. Thank you all. :-)

My students who became great friends: To Sidhu, Ashwin Nair, Dhinesh Karthik, Dinesh (TNAU, IIM L), Aishu, Miki, Manoj, Viji, Ranjini, Manasa and Ram, thank you guys. Can’t imagine the year gone by without you all. Enough said already I guess :-)

Cynthia: One of the most amazing persons I met during my time at TIME. Great friend. You already know everything else that I could say. Thank you Cynthia  :-)

Shyam: My TIME journey started with him. One of the best persons that I had ever met.  Again, spoken enough. Thank you da :-)

Shivaguru: Redefines everything. Again, enough said. Thanks da :-)

Roshni: She was the real ‘roshni’ of TIME.  Guess that sums up everything. She knows everything else that I’d probably say. Thank you Rosh :-)

Well, that’s it for now. My next post isn’t far away for I have this strong urge to write more and more. Hope time permits :-)

Cheers :-)

-Ashwin Murali

What’s in a Name?

Hello all, am back again :-) The month gone by has been very eventful with lots of travel and it brought its own share of good news :-)  

Coming to this post, I’m sure we all would have come across this question – What’s in a name?

I am asking you the same – What’s in a name? 

Well, so many things. First of all, how are we named? Do we know the meaning of our names?  

There’s more to it than meets the eye.

Gone are the days when the child is named after the grandparent. Today we have people scouting for unique names for their children. Their efforts have borne fruit too for today we have kids with very unique names.

When we look into the names, we only see how it sounds. We don’t really look into its meaning. Every name has to mean something. 

Really?

Oh, yeah!

Until a year ago, I really didn’t know what my name really meant. I knew that I was named “Ashwin”, ‘cause I was born on the day of “Ashwini” star according to the Tamil Calendar. So I thought that my name means the Ashwini star. That was when I chanced upon this book called “The Penguin Book of Hindu Names” by Maneka Gandhi in an airport. Curiously, I turned the pages to see if my name was present. It was and that was when I got to know the actual meaning of my name. It means “a person who rides on the back of a horse” :-) I am pretty sure that my parents didn’t know that too when they named me :-)  Well, it was some sort of a revelation for me. That’s when I started to look into what names meant. Some names are straightforward in meaning like Surya, Aditya, Roshni, etc. Whereas some names have a  meaning that could be made out from the name itself. Eg. “Anamika” means a person with no name :-) Funny :-) There are also names like Ashwin where the meaning is not apparent in the name but hidden within in the language of origin (Sanskrit in this case) :-)

Surname:

While there’s no trouble with the names, it’s the surname that’s a real cause for concern. In our country, it so happens that in 75-80 pc of the cases, the surname reveals more than what’s necessary or to put it differently, it gives away the bio-data of a person. 

Casteism is a big bane in our country. And in most parts of the country, it’s the caste name that is taken as a surname. Be it a Patel or a Sharma or a Menon or a Dutt or a Banerjee, they’re all caste names. So as soon as you hear the full name of a person, you can make out which part of the country he/she’s from, which caste he/she belongs to, what were their ancestors like, whether they’re from the so-called forward community or the oppressed classes, what their characteristic traits will be like, etc.  I am not exaggerating in any way. It’s true that our country has been divided on these lines to such a great extent that people can judge you so much just by knowing your caste and their task is made simpler if your name gives it away. 

In that sense, I do feel proud that I belong to a state where this practice has been done away with. Yes, in Tamilnadu, that system is non-existent. Gone were the days when you could find a Periasamy Thevar or a Velu Naicker or a Chinnappa Gounder loitering down the streets. Yes. Even now they are present but they  must all be over  50 years of age. No youngster in Tamilnadu these days is given a caste name as his/her surname. 

This being the case, I find it peculiar why certain youngsters especially from the so-called forward castes take pride in attaching their caste names as their surnames. Please don’t mistake me. I belong to one such so-called forward castes  too and it really pains me to see when people, that too youngsters, doing this with pride. 

Once back when I was in Orissa, I explained to a colleague with pride that in my state, people don’t attach their caste names to their names. All it took for him was to scan through my Facebook friends list and prove me wrong. And believe it or not, all the people he pointed out to prove me wrong were all people from the so-called forward castes who had attached their caste names as their surnames. And worse still was the fact that many of them did not have their caste names attached in their official names but took pride in doing so very openly for the world to see in Facebook. I really don’t understand why. Be it a Niranjan Iyengar or a Varshini Iyer or a Mahalakshmi Iyer, I only found these so-called forward caste people doing this. I could not find a single Rajesh Gounder or a Sandeep Thevar or a Prakash Chettiar anywhere online or offline.

Again, don’t mistake me. As I said, I belong to one of those so-called forward castes and the pain I felt when I realized that it was my own brethren who were doing this in an otherwise model state in this aspect, is what is making me say all this even if it’s been more than a year since that day.

So my request to every one of you, irrespective of who you are, is that please refrain from giving a caste name to your ward’s name. If you’ve been officially named with your caste name, nothing can be done but you can limit the use of your surname atleast.

For fellow youngsters who have attached their caste names to their names, please stop doing so. It’s not a matter of pride to let the world know of your caste that too through your name. There is absolutely no pride in showcasing your caste, no matter whichever the so-called high caste you belong to. No caste is high or low. And let me tell you that broadcasting your caste to the world is not going to earn you any brownie points but it will only make everyone look down upon you as a casteist. Casteism is one of the prime ills of our society and to get rid of it, we youngsters should lead the way. Never mind what the person next to you is doing. You can be the change. You can show the way. Let the generations to come atleast refrain from using their caste identity in their everyday life. 

The Naming System:

In Tamilnadu, we follow this practice of giving an initial to the actual name of the child. The initial is usually the first letter of the father’s name. Now increasingly the first letter of the mother’s name is also being used as initial.

But a more pragmatic approach of naming a child would be to attach the parent’s name to the child’s name. This is the standard approach that has been followed throughout the globe.  If named that way, then there would be no confusion when the child’s passport is being issued. Thanks to Facebook, more and more people are starting to follow this practice of naming.  And I have to thank my parents who were intelligent and futuristic enough to think and name me that way. In “Ashwin Murali”, Ashwin is my name and Murali is my dad’s name. There were quite a few people in my school who were named this way like Chandrashekar Anand or Aishvarya Ananth. 

When I was in Orissa, people used to ask me if I belong to a caste called “Murali” and I used to answer in the negative and explain the naming system in Tamilnadu to them with pride. My pride took a hit on that particular day. Sigh. Ever since that day, I could not explain with the same pride knowing that there are people who atleast on the outset, look casteist. 

A confusion may arise as to why only the father’s name. No issues there. It’s perfectly normal to attach the mother’s name too and people have started doing that. 

And staying on the topic of mother, the obvious question next would be about women taking their husband’s name for a surname. Not at all necessary, I say. It’s completely a matter of choice and I am definitely against women changing their official names in the records. Here again I’d cite the example of my mom who retained her official name in all records. It’s only in Facebook that she has my dad’s name attached to her name and that again is a matter of personal choice.

 I recently spoke to a friend (a senior) who got married. I asked him about his wife’s changed name in Facebook. He told me that he made it clear to her that he doesn’t want her official name to be changed in anyway. But he had this long-cherished dream of seeing his name attached to his wife’s name in Facebook  and he spoke to her about it and requested her to do so just for a month if she wishes. LOL. She readily obliged and even though it’s been more than a month, the name has remained that way and when he told her that she could revert to her old name, she gave him a stern look and asked if that wouldn’t look odd to the world around. LOL. True indeed :-)  Doing that now would make people think that they have separated :-) He realized that and left the matter to her and she’s perfectly happy with her new name even if it’s only in Facebook. I realized that in this case, everything was a matter of personal choice except that sheepish request that he made initially. Cute couple they are :-)

In another case, I remember a friend joking that his brother would now change his name by attaching his wife’s name to his name now that he got married :-)  LOL :-D Yes, that could happen a lot in the future too. Infact, I know a person who has his wife’s name behind his name in Facebook. I even asked him once about it and he calmly replied “What’s wrong in that? She’s everything for me and it’s the least I could do to her even if it’s just Facebook.” :-)  Made perfect sense.  Again a matter of choice :-)

Let me finish with this one incident that I remember. When the anti-reservation protests were happening in the country against the OBC quota in higher educational institutions, all the students in IIT Kanpur changed their surnames to “Bharat” (the country’s name) as they did not wish to be divided along the lines of caste. Excellent, I felt.

Guess that’s enough for now.

I have refrained from dealing with caste-based naming system in the rest of the country in this post as I felt that I require a deeper understanding of the system there before I can talk about/condemn those. 

It is for the same reason that I have refrained from talking about the naming systems in other religions as it would not be appropriate for me to talk about it unless I have a deeper understanding/affiliation.

Forgive me if you felt offended in any way reading this post but understand that these are my humble opinions and I wish to talk straight from the heart,  atleast in my written word. 

Cheers :-)

-Ashwin Murali

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this post are strictly the author’s personal views and are not intended to offend any particular caste/community/religion in any way. Also the names used in this post are completely fictional and any resemblance to any person dead/alive is purely coincidental.

PS: Chandrashekar and Aishvarya are the only real names that I have used in this post. So Chandru or Aishu, if you read this, please don’t  mind that I used your names without permission. :-)

PPS: My future wife, whoever you are,  let me assure you that I leave the naming issue completely to your choice J So let this not deter you in any way ;-) ;-) ;-) But please don’t change my Facebook name, ok? ;-) ;-)  :-)