Sorry, my dear Sisters

Hello again. My last post got me some nice feedbacks. Like always, people hitherto unknown, read it and it felt good. In addition to all that, I was also told that I seemed to live in a parallel universe. I got the point. It’s not that I wasn’t aware of what’s going on but I wanted the world to be ideal, atleast in my writings. Turns out the world is a far worse place. 

Reality sucks. But we live in reality believing that everything’s fine, when it’s not. Hence this post. Some hard truths. 

People who know me will tell you that I’m one of the most diplomatic persons around. For a change, I’m not going to be diplomatic here.

I was about to write on something else. But this post is far more important, I felt. If you’re the soft/ weak-hearted kind, please do not read any further.

First of all, a big sorry to all my dear sisters out there.

I just could not take it that some wretched persons from my gender would do something so horrific. Yes, I’m talking about the Delhi rape case. “Which one?” you may ask. The one that’s dominating the news for the last couple of days, the one where the victim was brutally raped and thrown out of a moving bus. It was really disturbing. The no. of such cases in Delhi over the past 4-5 years has rightfully earned it the shameful sobriquet – “Rape Capital”. Now I’m not going to deal with statistics and details et al. You’ve newspapers and screaming news anchors for that. 

Let us see the reasons behind this problem and ways to put an end to it.

Reasons: 

Immigrants, drugs, alcohol, the beast within:

I apologized earlier just to express solidarity – philadelphos, a brotherly love. Otherwise, I don’t even consider those wretched beings as humans, let alone one of my kind – males. They are plain animals, beasts that have no control over their senses.

I had a chat with a nice chap I befriended during a train journey, a year ago. He’s been in Delhi since 2007, working with a PSU. He said he had done a study on the rising rapes in Delhi and presented me with some of his findings.

The immigrant labour population was responsible for over 80 pc of the rapes that happened during this period. These are young illiterate labourers from around the country, who toil hard during the day and let their senses wander during the night. They are mostly young unmarried men and in some cases married men.

Alcohol and drugs were the next major factors, according to him. And in this case, the perpetrators were not some illiterate rustics but educated, affluent, young men who have strayed into the path of drugs and alcohol.

Inefficient System:

The system is so inefficient that it has become impossible for the police to thwart a possible molestation. The Government machinery, law, judicial system, media, etc. are working in tandem against the victim. There was a statement made on twitter by an eminent personality saying that we come to know of such cases in Delhi for it’s only here that cases are being reported. Elsewhere, the system is such that people will hardly report the matter. Could be true. Not sure. This 24X7 media would ensure that the victim never has a peaceful, normal, anonymous life again. In addition, the feminist groups add insult to injury. I’m not targeting anyone or anything here, but the sad truth is that these female organizations lack unity and they end up doing more harm than good. The government takes advantage of this friction among different groups.

The Ladies:

Now this would raise many eyebrows. How is a lady to be blamed for being victimized? There’s been enough written in the media about this and there has been enough statements made by loud-mouthed politicians who have earned the ire of one and all. 

No.

I’m not going to blame their dresses. Ours is a free country and every person is entitled the dress up the way he/she wishes. 

No. 

I’m not going to blame them for going out to parties with their boyfriends. They are perfectly within their rights to do that.   

I’m not blaming them for consuming alcohols or drugs either. It’s a morality issue and every person has the right to choose the morally right path for themselves.

Then what?

I blame them for their ignorance, their nescience. It is imperative that they know such things could happen anywhere and everywhere and stay on the vigil. I’ll be pounced upon for saying this, but I’m sorry. Please return to your homes before it’s too late. I have no right to ask my sisters to return home soon while I stay out late. But that’s the way it is. Like I said before, the machinery – the police, the government etc. are inefficient in dealing with this problem and so for our part, as normal citizens, we’ll have to take the necessary precautions.

Putting an End:

It’s not the time to turn rebellious. It’s imperative that we protect ourselves from the beast that’s lurking around. It’s shameful for me to say this but ours is not a safe country for women. Gandhi said that the real freedom is when a woman is able to walk down the streets with jewels in the dead of the night. Going by his definition, we are not free yet.   

I’ve seen girls impose a curfew on themselves and get home soon. I’ve often wondered why is that so and is it necessary. Now I realize that it’s indeed necessary. For a country that’s as unsafe as ours for women, it is indeed necessary that such a curfew be self-imposed. Again there’s sexism, gender bias there but nothing could be done unless everything improves.

Also understand that being with a guy doesn't improve matters. No matter who the guy is, in the face of such adversity, he's as helpless against those beasts as you. The Delhi case and the recent Bangalore NLS case are good examples of the same.

If you’re a woman who works late into the night, please equip yourselves with pepper spray, self-defence tactics, etc. Also if you ask me, I’d suggest you practice kicking a guy in his groin. There’s hardly anything that’s more painful than that for a guy ;-) :-) 

Morality is another issue that needs to be taken care of. The moral values have to be imbibed into the system from a very young age. If you’re a parent and have a son, teach him to respect and treat women as their equal in all respects.  It’s wrong to even touch a girl if she doesn’t like it, whoever it may be – your friend, classmate, colleague, sibling, etc. Learn to respect her dignity and teach the same to the others.

As for putting an end to all this, some politicians suggest severity of punishments. I agree but not to the punishment they’ve suggested. They’ve suggested death. I suggest castration.

Yes. Castration. That’d put an end to this problem. 

Would any person dare indulge in rape/adultery in the Middle East? 

No. 

Why? 

Because of castration.

In a Tamil film, the comedian Vivek shoots the groin of a rapist and says “Only when the severity of punishments increase, will the crimes come down.”  Exactly my point.

Impose castration as punishment for rape and you’ll see it coming down.

As for drugs and alcohol, again it boils down to morality. If you drink, that’s your problem. But drink responsibly so that the problem stays with you and you alone. As for drugs, say no them.

Again girls, always remember a person is not the same in an inebriated state. So for your own precaution, stay away from guys, whoever it may be, if you find him getting drunk. 

The same applies to you too. If you drink, bear in mind the place and the people you’re with and drink responsibly. Don’t ever get drunk in a public place. As for drugs, don’t ever think of them. There are enough articles on the net about date-rape drugs et al.

So dear sisters, please stay safe and stay alert. Stay on the vigil always. It’s imperative to stay alert even when you’re with guys you’ve known like boyfriends, classmates, colleagues, friends, etc.  Staying on the vigil doesn’t mean that you’ll have to look at them with suspicion all the time but staying prepared if anything were to happen. 

Hopeful that nothing wrong ever happens. Touch wood.

With philadelphos,

Ashwin Murali

PS:  I’ve addressed every girl reading this as sisters but if everyone turns out to be a sister, I’ll be stranded as a bachelor, for life. So please, not all of you consider me your brother ;-) :-)